2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Jeanne * cannot stand the sudden business trip of her boyfriend. Everything was so good, she had been waiting for just such a relationship for so long - simple, understandable and predictable, just such a man with whom it would be safe and reliable. And here this is a business trip that has come from nowhere. Zhanna speaks confusedly about the fact that she is not able to endure such risks.
In Jeanne, like many other people with borderline disorders, when a minimal threat arises in relation to something important for them, a strong narrowing of consciousness occurs. Jeanne is not able to perceive the reality of another person, Jeanne is not able to see anyone else - neither the man with whom she wants to build a relationship, nor the therapist, from whom she expects help. Her violent affect sweeps away everything. Jeanne is absolutely convinced that she is right. Total absorption in herself does not allow her to take a metaposition in relation to what is happening, she blames the other for all sins, and the therapist, from whom she expects help, in her opinion, cannot and does not want to help her. Jeanne loses contact with the therapist and accuses him of being unable to help her. A woman wants to learn about the therapist something that does not concern her in any way, claiming that when she talks to a person about whom she knows nothing, it causes her anxiety and indignation at injustice, because she tells everything to an outsider, but he does not talk about not a word to myself. Jeanne seeks to exterminate another, whoever it is. It is necessary to exterminate another Jeanne so that he does not possess his will, does not show his feelings, cannot behave unpredictably, think of something for himself and leave her. The other must be completely controlled, and for this he must be a part of Jeanne herself. He should be like Jeanne, share her tastes, views, values and beliefs. Only in this way can she relax and trust, and stop digesting anxiety that she is not able to process.
For a borderline organized person, intimacy is too unpredictable and disturbing. As soon as the other moves away even a little into his inner space, it causes such pain that the person is ready to immediately expel him from the relationship.
Jeanne grew up in a family in which everyone behaved inconsistently, lied to each other a lot, said one thing, but meant another, planned one thing for many years, but did nothing, or the exact opposite. Zhanna was in constant fear because her stepfather and his mother told the girl that she should be in a boarding school or insane asylum.
Jeanne leaves me in terrible agony, but says that she will come next time. Jeanne begins her next meeting very calmly, she says that she was impressed by the story about doctors who, under the guise of helping patients, were engaged in organ trafficking. How can you trust, or believe, that the world is not dangerous?
Jeanne's therapy has been a long journey. First, the moment came when Zhanna began to see her therapist, her hesitation, her desire to leave / stay in therapy ended, she began to feel the need to help with her whole being, she became able to withstand closeness. Over time, Jeanne began to notice the world around her, because she no longer needed to spend all the time repelling the nightmares that seemed to her around every turn, and there were much more turns in her life.
* Jeanne is a collective image of clients with borderline violations.
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