2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Unfortunately, physical violence in the family is still a reality in our life. I mean both husbands 'abuse of wives and parents' abuse of children. Many of our citizens have experienced physical violence from their parents, many children are experiencing it now.
In this regard, the question arises - what, in general, is the basis of this violence? We can argue that, more often than not, parents seem to understand that hitting children is not good, but, behold, they break down … Then they feel guilty, look for some kind of self-justification … the fact that it is still possible to beat children, they did not have - they would not do it. Perhaps (and most likely) they themselves were beaten as children. Now they have mastered a new cultural pattern that it is forbidden to beat children, but somewhere in the depths of their unconscious there is still “I was beaten”. And this unconscious motive, which permits violence not at the level of cultural conviction, but at the level of childhood experience, thereby legitimizes the violence.
Perhaps these thoughts sound something like this:
“Well, yes, it hurts and hurts me that my mom (or dad) beat me. But this is a mother, she is all the same, on the whole, good. And if I am a mother myself - well, I could not restrain myself, I spanked once or twice, but on the whole I am a good mother. Perhaps there are some other thoughts, but, in general, the very idea of violence is legitimate.
I remember a dozen years ago that several cases were widely discussed in the media at once when the local authorities took away children from Russian women living abroad, in particular, in Finland. Just for the use of physical violence against these children. There were many angry articles condemning the actions of the authorities, something like the following: “They didn’t beat the children with mortal combat” … and again the same phrase “Just think, they slapped once.” But, you won’t think - in developed countries they have already understood the danger of domestic violence, they began to fight against the very idea of the legitimacy of violence, it would seem, even quite “moderate”.
Of course, the basic idea that physical violence against children is legitimate is not limited to Russia. In the recent acclaimed film "Leaving Neverland", there is speculation about how the personality of Michael Jackson was formed in childhood. The father severely beat him and his brothers with a belt. Jackson grew up with a deep childhood trauma, a genius singer and dancer, but with a very serious mental illness. And when journalists ask his father the question: “How could you treat your children so cruelly?”, This does not bother him at all. He is still confident that he is right and answers: "Look, great people have grown out of them." His son died very early, a completely mentally crippled person, crippled the lives of other people, but for Jackson's father, everything is ok. Violence is not only legitimate, it is desirable.
Thoughts on this article came to me a couple of days ago when I read in the news about a new Levada poll. About the fact that in our country 70% of the population has a positive attitude to Stalin. It doesn't fit in my head. People answer this way, despite the fact that the information is now open, everyone knows very well that Stalin is directly responsible for the death and monstrous suffering of millions of people. Millions have died from starvation alone. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to starve to death. What a terrible death it is! Or from cold and hunger, backbreaking work in a concentration camp.
And at the same time 70 (!) Percent approves of it! "He made the country great!" is the main argument. The urge to get overcompensated by leaning against something great outweighs the painful death of millions. Sounds like Father Michael's reasoning, doesn't it? He beat him brutally, but made him a great artist, destroyed millions, but the country was great.
I am sure that as long as this terrible idea is sitting in the collective unconscious - that violence is justified and even beneficial, mothers and fathers will continue to beat their children. How do you stop this? Well, besides me, many people have already pondered this question. From Sartre and Camus to Fromm and Amonashvili. And, in fact, decade after decade, the humanization of society as a whole is taking place.
But only 70% of the population of our country still considers Stalin an effective manager and has a positive attitude towards his methods.
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