Father's Daughters. Part 1

Video: Father's Daughters. Part 1

Video: Father's Daughters. Part 1
Video: SAKUGAN Ep. 1 | FATHERS & DAUGHTERS 2024, March
Father's Daughters. Part 1
Father's Daughters. Part 1
Anonim

Fashionable trends exist in any field - in life, in art, in medicine and, of course, in psychology too. There was a period when there was anxious talk about men who grew up without fathers. Today it is no longer in vogue, although, of course, such men have not gone anywhere. Now in the trend of popular psychology, articles about how important a father is for the development and future life of a daughter. At the same time, I am incredibly surprised that adult smart people seriously consider the influence of the father solely in the context of the girl's future relationships with men.

Will she consider herself beautiful? Will he choose a husband who is like his father? Or is it the exact opposite? Will she be able to gain confidence in a relationship with a man if from childhood she was not accompanied by the loving gaze of her dad?

This is certainly important. But is that all a woman's life is focused on?

Doesn't matter at all "what will she do during the day"? Yes, her attitude towards her own femininity will also largely be determined by how her father felt about it. But also, one of the many roles of a father to help a daughter move from a protected mother's home to the outside world is to cope with this world, to cope with the conflicts that it creates. Help to learn to survive, develop, grow, defend yourself as a person. And, of course, the father's attitude to work and to success will color her attitude to work and to success.

I was repeatedly beaten by feminists for reminding us that it is the male part of the personality - the animus - that is responsible in us for activity, aggression, logic, law and order. "How? - they tell me - Women are no less active, aggressive, logical and orderly!" Yes, sure! Please don't tell me about this. Among my friends and clients there are many physicists, engineers, mathematicians, and, moreover, very, very successful. And they are successful precisely due to the fact that this very masculine part of the personality is well developed in them. Archetypally, this part belongs to the male world inside us, this is the history of the development of mankind, which is why the father and other significant men in childhood are so important for the formation of this part of our soul.

Sometimes it makes me shudder when I imagine that fathers will follow the proliferation of popular advice about what a dad should and should not daughter. I don't know who writes them, but there is a suspicion that these are the very people who create trainings on the development of femininity from the series "put on a skirt, paint your lips." These strange people believe that the feminine must necessarily deny the masculine. Eternal "smart to the right, beautiful to the left." Following the advice of the authors, fathers will probably convey to their daughters the idea that they are princesses and beautiful fairies, which in itself is not bad. But here is the fact that they also have a head and this is not at all a shame …

Our world, despite the merits of the leaders of the feminist movement, really respected by me, is still very patriarchal. Women who want to succeed, especially in "masculine" professions, still have to dress up as men in a way. Only a woman who has already achieved serious success can afford to show her femininity next to colleagues, before that she simply will not be taken seriously.

The motive of dressing up as a man to perform a feat is often found in fairy tales and legends. Take the Mulan story, for example, which is based on the ancient Chinese legend of Hua Mulan, a girl who joined the army. In order for Mulan to be able to use her strength and courage and protect her people, she has to disguise herself as a man, and it is emphasized that before that she was considered unfit as a bride (read, as a woman capable of starting a family). In the story of Mulan, as in many such tales, there is a moment of the abduction of his father's weapons and armor. And the point is not only that swords in ancient China were not cheap and did not lie on the road. The sword, as a symbol of determination, strength and clarity, we take from the father, either the real one, or from the symbolic father figure. It is a shame that women still often have to take the sword in secret.

To be continued.

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