2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
First, let's understand what trauma is. Trauma is an unexpected, shocking event that is threatening and accompanied by feelings of terror and helplessness. Trauma affects the rest of your life, and it often happens that a person builds his life around the trauma. You probably know that this is called a "traumatic scenario" in which people either continue to live through a traumatic situation over and over again, or do their best to avoid it. True, in this case, it is very difficult to take responsibility for following this scenario and for arranging your life. "It happened to me. Nobody would ever want to experience this horror. If this situation repeats itself over and over again, does that mean that I deserve this? Does this mean that I will always feel helpless?"
The difficulty of accepting responsibility can be justified quite easily if one understands which aspects of the personality are affected by the trauma. Due to very strong (sometimes unbearable) feelings, people who have experienced traumatic events continue to experience the horror that they once could not cope with. This is expressed in the fear of death, the fear of going crazy, the unknown, violence, the future, illness, as well as the fear of being different, being different. The feeling of helplessness does not leave these people. Suffering is accompanied by outbursts of anger, and then replaced by unbearable loneliness.
Trauma greatly affects the development of identity, that is, how a person perceives himself, how he characterizes himself and who he considers himself to be.
The trauma survivor will always give meaning to the experience. Not only an adult, even a child will ask himself questions: why did this happen to me? What did I do to make this happen? Why am I not like everyone else? And these questions will exacerbate feelings of anxiety, depression, and despair.
Trauma is always experienced as something abnormal. "Normal" in this context is safe, familiar. Life is divided into "before" and "after", and everything new, unusual and unusual will become abnormal (associated with trauma). This will cause anxiety, which can escalate into panic. And desperate attempts to control will be aimed at isolating oneself from change and opportunity.
Optimism and hope are also lost - it seems that it will never get better, life "before" cannot be returned. This means that you should not try.
So what to do with all this.
1. Track your traumatic scenario and the beliefs that underlie it. If the trauma was experienced as a child, it is important to understand the implications you might have reached as a child. And review them now as an adult.
2. Understand which self-image (identity) is associated with the trauma.
3. Understand the secondary benefit of the trauma scenario. We have already figured out a few - this is the predictability and familiarity of the traumatic situation. After all, you have already experienced it. It is also important to ask yourself "why am I choosing this situation? What does it give me?"
4. Personal resources are very important for change. You may need to work with a psychologist, help and support from friends and family.
Dealing with trauma is usually long-term and requires courage and determination. But she's worth it, trust me.
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