The Crisis Of Freedom Or The Phenomenon Of The "psychological Bottom"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A client came to me with a complaint that everything in her life breaks down and loses its meaning. There is no energy for change. I would like to lie on the couch, watch TV shows and sleep instead of engaging in interesting projects, useful things.. Talking to her, I, involuntarily, remembered myself during my graduation from the institute. This was one of my first serious encounters with freedom. My client complained that she was destroying relationships with family and friends, unknowingly seeking expulsion from the university, and all attempts to rectify the situation dragged her even deeper into the crisis. We called this stage - "psychological bottom". What is the cause of this condition? To figure it out, we will have to go back to childhood and remember what drove us then. On the one hand, it was a keen interest in the world, on the other, there were adults who spoke how and what to do. - You need to eat porridge.. (at 3 years old) Why? - because porridge is useful. - You need to go to school and study well.. (at 10) Why? - because otherwise you will become a janitor "no one needs". - You should definitely go to college, get married / get married.. (at 17) Why? - because if you do not do this, you will not become a man! The list is endless. Society has always found something to do. As a child, we understood very well what freedom was against the background of the restrictions that were created for us. But, as we grow older, our "must" began to be digested and turn into want or don't want to. The first serious "want", as a rule, arose with the need to make a decision about the future profession. To do this, it was necessary to take stock, turn to their dreams and talents, and evaluate past achievements.

It is important to understand that growing up is always accompanied by the loss of "external must" and separation from parental figures. This process can be described as a loss of external stimulus to action. There is no more school, teachers, employer, etc. Such freedom begins to intoxicate, it seems long-awaited and sweet, but over time, a taste of bitterness appears in it, since we still do not know how to control ourselves. If nothing else is needed (no parent), then what to do and how to live? At the moment of the appearance of freedom (loss of external stimuli), at best, we cease to act. At worst, movements become chaotic, sometimes even self-harming (adolescent behavior). This line of conduct inevitably leads to a dead end. Imaginary freedom turns out to be an illusion, since it boils down to responding to what the world offers us, and not a conscious and responsible choice of the path. This is similar to the loss of will, because the will manifests itself in freedom of choice, which at the time of the crisis does not yet exist. I want to note that a crisis of freedom can occur at any age. Almost any loss of external incentives (graduation from college, leaving work, ending a relationship, separation from parents) can potentially lead to this effect. The crisis of freedom brings us back to the childish position and forcing us to re-experience growing up. Much has been written about this in books on existential therapy.

To help a person get out of such a crisis, it is necessary, first of all, to show him that he is already at the bottom. Metaphorically, it is like a life preserver that you throw to a drowning person. Bottom awareness is important in itself. " I do not live the way I want!"- this idea is able to make us fight, it awakens anger and self-loathing. Experiencing the" bottom "makes us change the world, completely different from the one we dreamed about. Instead of" should ", a new, conscious" want "begins to appear. the moment of the beginning of the exit from the crisis The bottom is an important point of support on which you need to rely in order to push off. The material was published with the consent of the client.