About The Illusory Nature Of Relationships That Do Not Have Time To Take Place

Video: About The Illusory Nature Of Relationships That Do Not Have Time To Take Place

Video: About The Illusory Nature Of Relationships That Do Not Have Time To Take Place
Video: How Romanticism Ruined Love 2024, April
About The Illusory Nature Of Relationships That Do Not Have Time To Take Place
About The Illusory Nature Of Relationships That Do Not Have Time To Take Place
Anonim

Recently one friend said, "And I can honestly answer that I don’t know yet whether it’s pleasant for me." This prompted me to think about my own discomfort at moments when communication develops faster than I can manage to notice my feelings in relation to each specific person, to his actions and words … in general, to his presentation of himself. Sometimes the only thing that can be noticed at the first stages is that while just a new person has appeared nearby, and then it will be seen …

Sometimes, to the question "why are you sitting silent, not having fun?" So tempting to answer "yes I'm afraid so far, I get used to it, I take care of myself." But somehow it is not very accepted, huh? And then artificial smiles come to the rescue, a prematurely shown interest, some stereotyped phrases to "keep up with everyone" and … a feeling of violence against oneself.

But I want it to be different … How?

Surely each of us periodically experiences this pleasant feeling inside, which can be described by the words "Oh, we sat well," "we had a good conversation," "I feel rested (or satisfied, happy, satisfied) after our joint …" (substitute your own for ellipsis) … All this happens when contact occurs between people. Contact is when both (or more) secretly, but bilaterally agree to be authentic at this very point of communication with each other.

So, in order to come to authenticity it takes a lot of time: to look at each other, to listen to the Other and to oneself, to the fact "how am I with him in general?", "Is it safe for me to prove myself to him without social masks?" do I want? " eventually!

Sometimes contact may not happen, even if you really wanted to, and sometimes it happens when it was not planned at all, with a minimum of effort, just both matured and coincided. And it’s impossible to take and create contact once and for all. This business is like the first time, even with the same person.

And it's all so difficult between the two, to be honest … what if the company? And if you don't know each other at all? Is it decent to say “I don’t know if I like you yet”, “I need time to observe, get used to, understand”, etc. What is it there! It's easier to say "Glad to meet you / meet" - not otherwise!

The fashion for mania is still at the top: to do something, to run somewhere, the main thing is not to stop, so that, God forbid, you do not meet yourself, do not show others your vulnerability … so we skip past everything that is going on inside and about what the soul whispers when entering into a relationship with another person. We find "new best friends" who cannot be remembered in a year. And how else when, in a joint frenzy, except for illusions about each other, nothing could be created. Or "Lovely lovers, with whom for some reason it did not go" - so much passion - so much passion, and then bang, and nothing! Because there was simply no time to look at a person behind a vagina / member …

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