2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Cannibal - this is the one who eats his own kind. Psychological abusers are also often referred to as "eating by food" on others. The article will focus on psychological cannibalism, in particular, about neglect.
Neglector - this is a person who commits neglect in relation to loved ones and in a situation of personal social responsibility.
What is neglect?
"Neglect" is translated from English as "neglect".
Accordingly, a non-lector is one who neglects you, ignores your basic needs.
So, for example, a client says during a consultation that her husband does not drink, does not smoke, does not beat, but for some reason she feels unhappy: “I’m probably mad with fat,” the woman comes to a disappointing conclusion.
Indeed, it is extremely difficult for a person who does not possess information, who in childhood experienced violence in the form of the same ignorance, to understand the reasons for his inner discomfort, to recognize psychological violence against himself. After all, he was used to considering such treatment the norm.
And the non-lector himself is often uncritical of his behavior and does not see anything strange in his actions.
Let's look at examples of neglect from life
The neglector often has low self-esteem, which he seeks to maintain through humiliation, suppression, control of others, as a rule, weaker, in some way dependent on him, or this is a person with impaired attachment, a latent sociopath who is unable to take responsibility …
So, the husband deprives the wife on maternity leave of material support if she does not behave in accordance with his requirements. These requirements, as a rule, are of an arbitrary, unconstructive nature: not to communicate with friends, spend money only on the essentials, cook borscht and cutlets every day, go to work, even if you feel bad, do not contradict him in anything, etc. etc.
The mother disdainfully treats the sick child, does not call the doctor, brings him to kindergarten with a fever, does not give medicine if he needs them … In addition, she may forget to feed him, not take care of his hygiene - the child often looks neglected, lags behind intellectually from peers.
Parental neglect also manifests itself in situations where the child is at risk, left in danger, do not deal with him, deprived of attention, participation, communication.
In A. Maslow's pyramid, the basic needs of the individual are outlined.
If a loved one systematically neglects your needs, limits it, this is a serious reason to seek psychological help and begin to strive for personal independence and self-sufficiency.
Ignorance can manifest itself more subtly. For example, a husband and wife both earn, but the wife spends the money earned only on herself, without coordinating the family budget with her husband, and requires her husband to spend his income on the needs of the family. Accordingly, the husband has no money left for himself - just for lunch at work, for new clothes. He can walk for years with gastritis and in frayed jeans.
Sex deprivation (sexual deprivation) can also be a form of neglect if the partner is objectively not sick, but refuses intimacy or cheats, but forbids the other even to flirt on the side.
If a husband deprives his wife, who spends most of the time at home with young children, normal human communication, and he himself has fun with friends, is busy with his hobbies, this is also regarded as neglect, since the family is the responsibility of both.
As a rule, often a non-lector finds thousands of explanations for his behavior: “it seemed to you, I don’t think so …”, “I work a lot, but you sit at home, and dare to complain about something…”, “you can go to work, only if you earn as much as I do … and so on.
The victim, as a rule, over time begins to feel trapped - dependent, powerless, intimidated, without money and status.
It is even worse when there is nowhere to go, there is no one to expect help, support, even from parents.
Neglect can be on the part of social services when it comes to negligence in their job responsibilities.
A person can also show ignorance in relation to himself for various reasons: he does not understand his needs, cannot build boundaries, or simply considers his needs insignificant.
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