2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What can lead to such manifestations of parents as:
- parents actively belittle and reject the child, constantly ignore his behavior aimed at receiving parental attention and care;
- facts of more or less frequent abandonment of the child for long periods (this also includes periods of hospital stay or round-the-clock nurseries);
- threats of dislike for the child as a disciplinary or blackmail measure of influence (“if you…, then I will not love you”);
- voiced parental threats to leave the family, leave, change family for another, change one child for another, threats of suicide.
- intimidation of the child that his behavior may cause illness or even death of the parent.
And this is not a complete list. Moreover, each of the above (if these effects are repeated) can lead to life in constant anxiety, fear of losing a significant figure for him. And this, in turn, affects the formation of anxiety-type attachment, i.e. to insecure attachment. Often such a person becomes anxious, insecure, addicted.
However, this is only one development option. Another option, with a similar attitude of the parent, is manifested in the fact that the child learns to react to what is happening, blocking behavior and feelings of attachment, he rejects and even scoffs at any desire to get closer and establish a close relationship with a person who could show him care and love. This is because there is tremendous fear and mistrust inside him. To avoid pain and fear of rejection, a person runs away from close relationships.
People with an insecure form of attachment face many typical difficulties when entering into a relationship and starting a family, they have many problems with their own children. A high level of anxiety leads to demands to the partner about the excessive manifestation of love and care, or, on the contrary, they themselves exhibit such redundancy, which is perceived as obsession. This is also true in relation to their own children. Either the parent requires the child to take excessive care of himself, or "strangles" with his own concern, imposing his help even when it is clearly inappropriate.
Also, such people are more likely to be broken in crisis situations and are prone to pathological experiences of grief. Their mourning is often characterized by hypertrophied anger and self-reproaches; their depression can last much longer.
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