Scream, Splashing Saliva

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Domodedovo, early morning, departure hall, cafe on the second floor. At the next table, a brutal handsome man with a boy of about five years old. The boy barely heard something whispering, bending over to the plate. Papa's roar makes me flinch:

- Where to go to the toilet ??! Where to go to the toilet ?? I asked you 5 minutes ago - what did you say ?? What did you tell me, I'm asking you? Piss in your pants now, go to the toilet for him !!

I look closely at my father. He yells so that saliva splashes, yells for a long time and obscenely, blushes and clenches his fists. The boy turns crimson and bows his head even lower.

I say quietly:

- Children of this age cannot yet predict when they will want to use the toilet.

My father glares at me, I look at him. A second later, he throws to the boy - "Come on !!" and takes his son, who has not raised his head, out of the cafe.

Tel Aviv, noon, embankment, crowds of people. I walk, relaxed, about to buy ice cream. Suddenly I hear - screams, a small crowd gathers at the parapet that encloses the beach. I look down. On the path near the dressing rooms there is an eerie male scream, hysterical:

-Get away from me! Get away from me, I s-said !! What did I tell you - don't you understand ?? You will get it from me now !! Come next !! Move away !!

A man in shorts and slippers yells, shaking and jumping, at a girl of about five years old. In Russian. The girl stands frightened in front of him, pulling her head into her shoulders. I do not understand anything. People on the waterfront too. He moves forward, the girl minces beside him. The cry, completely abnormal, hysterical, aggressive, continues. "Move away, I said! Walk beside! You don't hear! Don't you understand? Do you want to hit you or something? !!" The girl's face is not visible, her head is pulled into her shoulders. A woman comes up to him, touches him on the shoulder. He bounces back. "Shout again and I'll call the police," she says. "Fuck you !! - the man yells. - This is my child !!" But the scream stops and they leave - he is sweeping and nervous, the girl is hastily next to him. I am wildly ashamed that all this is happening in Russian. A crowd of multicolored foreigners whisper and exchange glances.

Domodedovo, night, arrival hall, passport control. Turn. Children are tired of waiting. A boy of about five years old jumps - from the queue - and back to the queue, closer to his mother.

At some point, she forcefully tugs at his hand so that he flies to the side and back.

-I told you what ??? - the mother is wailing. - Stay calm !! Once again you move, I'll hand you over to the police! They'll pick you up !! Now I will tell them that you are misbehaving !!

The boy looks around in fright at a border guard passing by and stands rooted to the spot for a while.

After 5 minutes, a scream is heard in the next line. A fragile, beautiful, well-dressed blonde screams, continuously tugging at the hand of her son, very young, 3-4 years old:

- Are you tired??? are you tired???? Do you want to go home ?? Do you think I don’t want to ?? I'm asking you?? Answer me - do you think I don’t want to ??? Are not you ashamed?? I'm not tired?? Where will I take you home ?? He is tired, but mom is not tired !!!

She screams, splashing saliva and shaking her son, every time she jerks, trying to turn him to face her. The boy pulls his head into his shoulders and tries not to meet her eyes.

You are reading manuals on female orgasms and how to catch and hold a guy. Read at least something about child psychology. About how to be able to comfort a child, and not scare him into enuresis and stuttering. About what psychological and emotional abuse is. About how frightened children learn to suppress their needs forever, and this means that they, who have grown up, have a huge amount of aggression wandering inside. About how these grown-up children cry at a psychologist's appointment, remembering you, hating you, feeling their powerlessness in front of you, who are already old.

Read about age norms. About the fact that small children do not know when they want to go to the toilet - offering them to "" piss in their pants "in a public place is loud - it will forever drive a feeling of shame and humiliation into their heads. stand still - he needs to turn and move. And the girl too. About the fact that the 4-year-old does not know what is "long", what is "half an hour", what is "passport control", he can only feel that it was he who suddenly became to blame for the fact that his mother was tired and that he, the baby, in this case, to get tired himself is for some reason ashamed. That a girl, either at five or at 35, is not able to simultaneously execute the commands "step away" and "walk beside", shouted out by a crazy father.

You invite your child to experience shame, guilt and humiliation in an extreme situation for him - instead of support, comfort, and help. You, adult sons of bitches, at this moment are adopted and adopted by your children - they see that adults are not you, because an adult is coping, and you are not. And then your children from the age of three try to behave like an adult with you, so that you, so fragile and not in control of yourself, do not get angry, scared and upset. You threaten your child, threaten with beatings, police, orphanage - you, the one from whom he expects protection. Parents are not the ones who protect. These are the ones who will punish and set up when it is already bad.

You scream when you feel powerless, tired, irritated, and angry. At this point, your child experiences paralyzing fear, shame, guilt, and helplessness. In addition, he will not be able to learn how to support and help, regret, comfort and calm, take care and be attentive. He grows into the same parent and partner - who does not know how to help his child or loved one, but knows how to threaten, scare, scold, shame and blame.

I don’t know when generations of half-nailed aggressive fathers and hysterical, noisy, mothers who jerk their children about every occasion will run out. Trust me - even if all these real characters I described somewhere inside love their children, their grown children will be very hard to believe in it.

ADF. One of my readers writes: Personally, John Gray's book "Children from Heaven" helped me a lot. And Julia Gippenreiter's book "Communicate with a child. How?" and "We continue to communicate with the child. So?" I would cut quotes into large-caliber pieces and distribute them to all future parents even before pregnancy.

And the second reader recommends: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish "How to speak so that children listen, and how to listen so that children speak", Karen Pryor "Carriers of the Wind" - about dolphins who taught trainers to teach them …