Why Does Patience Kill Slowly But Surely?

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Video: Why Does Patience Kill Slowly But Surely?

Video: Why Does Patience Kill Slowly But Surely?
Video: Mr.Kitty - After Dark 2024, March
Why Does Patience Kill Slowly But Surely?
Why Does Patience Kill Slowly But Surely?
Anonim

Patience, as a quality of character, is characteristic of all of us to a greater or lesser extent. It is multifaceted. A person suffers a lot: from physical pain to some unpleasant moments in the character of loved ones. This article will focus specifically on patience with regard to INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE and healthy egoism.

Why patience is bad for you

When a person is forced to bend, make concessions, be silent-chew-swallow, the following changes will await him in life:

- the boundaries of the personal I will be erased altogether and the aggressor will not even hesitate to step on the victim again and again. She will simply lose her face, her inner world, values, views, and so on…. And who is interested in living, communicating or working with a faceless person? With a person who has almost nothing personally important and valuable to him?

- the terpily will be constantly tested for strength. People feel everything. If a person constantly gives slack, everyone who is not lazy or who is not ashamed will immediately notice it and use it for themselves.

- health, personal happiness, a feeling of fullness of life will be shaken. One gets the impression that you are not living your life.

Still disagree? OK. Ask yourself honestly, would you like to communicate:

a) with a strong Person, who either speaks with you on an equal footing, or is clearly stronger than you, and if stronger, then for sure a more status, successful one. This personality anyway has its CLEAR views, values and interests. Confident, calm speech. The eyes are shining. She is not particularly looking for compromises, knows what she wants, goes to her goals, but at the same time treats you with respect or observes neutrality if you are not part of the circle of her acquaintances or friends.

b) with a person who seems to communicate with you on an equal footing, but at the same time is afraid of offending or, in principle, you know that he is ready to give in at any time. This person can curry favor, hesitate, few when he dares to express his opinion, once again will keep silent. This person will most likely be friendly to everyone, without exception, and his social circle consists of everyone in the world.

Remember, for sure you have such among your friends and are more attracted to people from point "A", for sure it is more pleasant to communicate with them and everything else. These are often rich and reputable people, by the way. And the people from point "B" can be a little neglected, right? They will not go anywhere anyway, they will always be ready to meet with you, help, give in (if it is convenient for you to meet on that day and that time), they will listen to you, agree or simply remain silent.

Men who know their worth are sort of Males, women love more, right?

Women who know their worth are bitches (why not) who, like Queens (but not on a pea!), Attract men more! The bitch is not the one who takes out the brain and squeezes out the last, but the one who takes everything from life and is happy with it, they are complete and self-sufficient even without a man. They are attracted to such, as statistics show.

An employee who clearly puts himself before the employer, his interests and needs, the employer will, if not appreciate, will definitely take into account all this and will try not to violate the boundaries and interests of the individual. But if he needs slaves, then that's another conversation, not from this article.

A mother who knows her own worth and does not bend under the child, does not drag him on herself and treats him as a Personality, will most likely grow up to be an independent and self-sufficient person.

A measure of patience

Someone has been suffering injustice towards themselves for many years at work, in the circle of close people and friends, in pairs, from children, from parents. Everyone suffers in their own way, but they endure: a person puts up with ridicule, disrespect, ignorance, carrying too heavy a burden (which was put on his neck by more cunning personalities), impudence and many other things that probably hurt him ….. and he is all suffers.

How much longer will you personally, if you have endured, be ready to carry your heavy burden? Until you break? Or until you are completely gutted? How to determine how much you should endure so as to keep your nerves and good mood?

First, everyone determines the measure of patience for himself based on his inner resources.

To understand how much you personally are able to endure without loss for yourself, ask yourself questions:

- How important is a person or a relationship to you?

- How soon can you get hurt, bad, sick, and so on? This means that the boundaries of your personal I have been completely broken and the remnants of them have been trampled.

- How much are you willing to engage in altruism at the expense of yourself?

- Do you benefit from patience? If so, list them for yourself.

Secondly, any psychologist will say that patience destroys your Personality, and a cynical psychologist will tell the whole truth: if there is something that you have to endure, then it is better to end it immediately, BECAUSE IT WILL NOT BE BETTER !!! It will only get worse, and you, if you endured. Your patience is a path to the abyss, and not to save relationships, and even more so it does not contribute to their improvement, they just slowly rot from all sides.

Third, be healthy selfish people. Try to somehow correct the situation for a start, but it is better not on your own and through mistakes. Conversations, negotiations, agreements and compromises will help (both sides! But also not a fact and this is a separate topic for the article). Anyone whom you tolerate in any case should understand that you are doing this out of the kindness of your heart until the next month or year, for example. You explained everything to him (all your points of view, wishes and wishes), you told him what you feel and how you can be hurt, hurt, and so on. He EXACTLY heard you and will try to do something to improve your situation. In the process, it is quite possible for the aggressor to control and remind him of your patience. The one you have to put up with should know that when the deadline comes, he will be alone, or on the street, or without support, or without an employee, or ignored. All these recommendations are quite conditional in fact, since each case is individual and requires a special approach, BUT there is only one principle and it is described clearly:

DO NOT LET ANYONE RIDE ON YOURSELF EVER, no one will say thank you for that!

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