2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Tears rolled down her face. I have known her for several years already, but this is the first time I have seen her in such a state. She is crying out loud.
“I myself don’t understand why I was so upset,” she says. - When I went to see him, I did not expect to continue. For me it was a resort adventure, and I understood that it was for him too. I am from another country, he is from another city. We had a great time with him. I knew that he was coming for 3 days. And now he left, and I cry, as if he died. For the second day now I can’t think of anything but him, and I can’t pull myself together. I understand that my tears are inadequate to the situation, but I can’t help myself. I can’t be angry with him for being so beautiful, warm and charming, for taking up more space than is supposed to be in my thoughts and feelings. This is enough for exactly 5 minutes, although earlier it helped me to remove the rainbow flair from the guy and look at the situation with sober eyes, but now I can't, I don't understand what is happening.
And what are your thoughts and feelings for him? What are you crying so bitterly about?
- I liked him very much. I would like to continue, but I am afraid that it will not be. How many times have I already fallen in love with guys who are at a distance. It didn't end well.
Did he promise you something?
- Yes, he said that we can do a joint project, and that he understands where I need help, and that for this I will need to come to him, but I am very afraid that these were just words to say goodbye beautifully, in fact, nothing else will happen. He will leave for his city, and the bustle of the capital will twist him. Maybe now he really thinks so and wants to, but then he will switch to other tasks and everything will be forgotten. This does not mean that he is bad or I am bad, but this often happens in life. But these thoughts do not comfort me in any way.
“It looks like when he was leaving, he took something that actually belongs to you. It is something intangible, perhaps hope or trust, something metaphorical, which is why you cry so much. What do you think it could be?
- Hope? No it's not that. I didn’t count on anything, nor did I hope for anything but to have a good time. And I had a great time. And now I assess the situation quite soberly. The trust? Well, maybe. I felt very good with him, I quickly realized what I could trust him in, and I entrusted him with some of my sexual fantasies, and … and, I really liked it …
Did your tears start right after that?
- No. I went home happy. My relatives were waiting for me, and it seemed to me that the situation was under control. We agreed to meet in the evening, but I was busy longer than planned, and at that time he went to the cinema with his brother, and stayed late. I decided that I wouldn’t wait for him and went to bed a little sleep, because I was tired.
When did the tears begin? What turned them on?
- The next day. When it turned out that he was leaving in the evening and could not say goodbye to me. He needs to call in to his parents, and then immediately take the train.
And how did you want it to be?
- I wanted him not to go to his parents, but to come to me. I wanted to be more important than anything else he did. I wanted him to choose me, so that it was important for him to see me before leaving. I wanted to feel that our acquaintance had become special for him.
I seem to know what he took with him - this is your sense of your own worth
- Yes, it looks like that.
Let's imagine it as an object. What could it be?
- This is a golden ring.
Did he take it or did you give it to him yourself?
- I gave it to him myself.
Can you take it back?
- I do not want. I am so offended and upset. Let him choke on it, since he took it. And I don’t need to, I can do without it … Damn, I behave like a little child! Who is he, in fact, for me to give him such gifts. This is my ring, and I must have it! … I took him.
Excellent. It is really yours, and you should not give it to anyone, even for special merits. You should have it. It's not just a ring. This is a sense of your worth, your dignity. As long as it is with you, others will also appreciate and respect you
2 weeks have passed.
- You know, a lot has changed in my life. After that lesson, the man ceased to be an overvalued idea. Remember, I used to say that I can't concentrate on work, I'm not interested in current events, but it's important for me to go on dates and look for a suitable partner, and I was ready to spend a lot of time on dating sites and on different dates. So, I realized that I don't need a man to feel valuable, I don't need his gifts and attention in order to understand that everything is fine with me. I am a great value for myself and let others win my attention. There are a lot of tools through which I can understand my value to the world - this is my work, clients, friends, relatives and my work. Man is just one way. And you know, I felt inspired to work, during this time I have done more than in the last six months. And I'm proud of myself. Thanks.))
_
Ostretsova Natalia - psychologist / psychotherapist.
My vibe / votsap +380635270407
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