Slay Your Dragon! Dragon Of Self-abasement

Table of contents:

Video: Slay Your Dragon! Dragon Of Self-abasement

Video: Slay Your Dragon! Dragon Of Self-abasement
Video: MY TOP 10 FAVOURITE DRAGONS! (How to train your Dragon) 2024, March
Slay Your Dragon! Dragon Of Self-abasement
Slay Your Dragon! Dragon Of Self-abasement
Anonim

Lowered shoulders, prevailing feelings of humiliation, alienation, a sense of guilt for everything that does not happen exactly as others expect, a depressed mood and a persistent feeling of complete insignificance and despair …

The dragon of self-abasement that has sucked on to you is rejoicing!

Where did he come from?

It was born in your childhood, when your idealistic parents, who want you to correct their mistakes or match their achievements, set the bar too high. They expected from you what no child of your age could do. For example, it makes no sense to force a three-year-old child to sit still, bring only "excellent" marks, always make the bed and put toys in place, and so on.:). You carry your drawing to show your mom, but you hear: "What are you doing here !?" Sound familiar?

Reproaches, remarks, conditional love ( I will love you if you study well, behave well …) - all this convinced you that it is better to be inconspicuous, it is better not even to try to do something, because it will not work out anyway ideal, but listening to corrections, remarks, moralizing is already simply unbearable.

Fear of failure leads to constant feelings of guilt and the need to apologize for not being what your parents want you to be. Not like that all the time. What a punishment, not a child! Because you believe in the inevitability of failure, you fail over and over again and the dragon of self-abasement takes root in your child's soul.

When you got older, you got into the habit of apologizing in advance for your so-called incompetence: “Oh, I never knew how to draw, so I don’t know what will turn out”, “Come on, I’m bad at cooking”, “It's me guilty, I always dump something, I'm so clumsy. The constant apology makes you feel sick even looking at yourself in the mirror.

“Avoid pain and disappointment, be humble and inconspicuous, seek comfort in inaction and inconspicuousness,” the dragon whispers to you. Since your previous experience consisted of continuous losses and disappointments and defeats, you will again disappoint others with your inability to meet their expectations until you reach a logical conclusion - a state of deep depression.

But your dragon of self-abasement is not so simple - he knows how to change his guise to the opposite, as it might seem at first. Arrogance that fills you with the right to criticize and condemn every act of any person. It begins in the same childhood, when, under the vigilant critical attention of your parents to your person, you developed an inadequate sense of your importance, leading to the feeling that the people around you are vigilantly watching your every action and movement. It makes you stiff, tense and leads to the thought of being a gray mouse and sitting quietly in the corner.

How to defeat this monster?

1. Realize that the dragon of self-abasement and you are not the same thing. Dragon - it will amaze, which feeds on your life energy. You can live a successful and joyful life without it. And he will die without you. So who's in charge here?

2. Realize your own belief in your inferiority. Understand that it is your fear of failure that leads to failure. This is the fear of a child who lives in the depths of your soul and cries bitterly that his parents do not love him. But your strength, energy is in this little child, and it is he who can defeat the dragon. Agree with him, explain, have pity, believe in him.

3. Overpower yourself and achieve success in something you've never tried before. It can be any kind of creativity, extreme sports, even just amusement park rides that you were afraid to ride earlier.

4. Remove apology phrases from your vocabulary. Watch your speech, mark such moments first, and over time, you will get rid of the humiliating habit of constantly apologizing, bending over and blaming yourself (verbally to begin with).

5. Use breathing exercises to "spread the wings of the soul." Exercises aimed at deep, full breathing will relieve anxiety, tension, and a feeling of tightness.

6. Learn to respond correctly to criticism of the inner voice, which says: "Here I am late again!", "What a clumsy and stupid you are!" etc.

Your correct answer is "So what?" or "Yes, so what?":)

The main thing to remember is that you treat yourself as well as you treat your dog.

7. Write down your successes in your weekly journal every day. Come home in the evening, sit comfortably, concentrate and remember your day, note the successes that you managed to do, what pleasant thoughts were, any little thing, everything, everything.

8. Love your reflection in the mirror. Do the following exercise every day, starting today. Take off your clothes and stand in front of a mirror. Force yourself to stare at your reflection for a couple of minutes first. Examine every part of your body. You will have a lot of emotions (hatred, shame, humiliation, then pity and sadness), perhaps emotions will pour out in tears, maybe not on the first day, this is very good.

9. Share the concepts of self-deprecation and modesty. True humility elevates a person, not destroys. A modest person has no doubts about his own abilities.

Methods of catatim experience of the image, hypnosis, behavioral psychotherapy, breathing practices will successfully help you cope with the dragon of self-abasement.

Recommended: