2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Want to argue? Do not agree? Throw stones at me!
In modern society, an incredibly great importance is attached to sex and, as a result, a huge number of myths, misconceptions and stereotypes have been created about it. As always, I want to put everything in its place.
In fact, sex is one of the socially acceptable ways of satisfying needs and expressing feelings. And we love him because the process is one, and it satisfies many needs.
So, about the needs. From the point of view of the classic of American psychotherapy, William Glasser, a person's needs are few, they are all equal, and for each of them there is an affordable way to satisfy.
1. It is obvious that sex satisfies a basic need for reproduction (procreation). You can't argue with physiology. But people do this not only for the sake of having offspring - they successfully use various contraceptives. Basically, they never had sex for the sake of having children. In primitive society, people did not even realize the connection between sex and the "sudden" appearance of a baby after 9 months.
2. Of course, everyone wants (not everyone succeeds) get from sex pleasure … Glasser calls this need FUN and refers to the ways of satisfying it as everything that a person uses to fight boredom and get pleasure and pleasure.
3. One of the most important human needs is the need in love and belonging. By and large, an object is completely unimportant for love, the main thing is that it exists. After all, then you can "bring down" attention, care, tenderness and so on to him. This is where the incidents like "love is evil, you will love a goat" also occur.
But when it comes to belonging - we really want to belong to someone better … If the object chosen for love does not want "belonging" - then a very painful situation occurs, which often leads to the social trauma of "rejection". And the emotional pain of rejection, unlike the physical one, is not forgotten and is hard experienced.
This is due to the fact that a person is a social being, and belonging to society is closely related to survival. A person cannot survive alone.
Not to be confused with social loneliness. Indeed, within the framework of civilization, a person is never alone. Even when he is in an apartment or house - there are neighbors, there are utilities that provide a living environment, there are shops that provide food and the like. In natural conditions, being, like Robinson Crusoe, on an uninhabited island, without improvised means and tools, a person will not live long.
Therefore, when there is "belonging": someone accepts someone not only in its entirety, but also in "all nakedness" - life immediately becomes beautiful, amazing and full of colors.
4. We will not go anywhere from the need for power, strength and control … And sex is so important and necessary here! A strong man will manifest his power as the ability to bring a woman to orgasm. He will also control the process! And he will choose the best woman available to him, and ascribe to himself her achievements as his victory, and make her an attribute of his success, status and position.
And what are women doing to make a man do what she needs?
“Will you buy a fur coat?
- Buy!
Will you buy a handbag?
- I'll buy it! …
This is where you can "frolic" on the topic of power, strength, control! And be silent with your "back", and pretend to be sick …
5. Other than that, sex is the best way satisfying sensory hunger: it involves all the senses at the same time. Here we will smell, and touch, and admire, and listen, also taste the taste … And, in order not to be distracted and intensify the sensations, turn off the light to satisfy tactile hunger.
For psychological health, even an adult needs four to twelve hugs a day. Lucky for those who, when meeting and saying goodbye, hugs a partner, children, parents, squeezes a cat or pet a dog, and regularly visits a masseur. But what if “from work - home, from home - to work”? Came - the wife is already asleep, left - still asleep …
In this case, the tactile touch of a person to a person:
• stimulate the activity of the central nervous system;
• increase immunity;
• affect the change in the level of hemoglobin in the blood;
• have an effect on the hypothalamus, as a result of which the hormone oxytocin is released into the blood, which is responsible for well-being, a positive attitude towards the world around us.
6. And to top it all off, sex is one way expressing feelings in a socially acceptable way … I will not write about tenderness, joy, I will tell you about aggression.
You've probably heard that sex cures many diseases and relieves stress. It is clear that illness comes from stress. What is stress? This is when the world does not obey us - it seems to us or we really cannot control the situation. This naturally provokes aggression. But this aggression has to be suppressed - and what to do with it? Constantly repressed aggression leads to chronic depression, emotional outbursts or binge drinking.
I'm not talking about sexual violence or cruelty, it's about the fact that sex itself contains elements of aggression: penetration and the desire to absorb, the desire to possess the object of love. Often, both partners have aggressive desires and fantasies during sex: use physical force, swear, hurt, and so on. And if you remember the facial expressions and sounds? Young children who accidentally witness sex scenes clearly interpret what is happening as aggressive actions.
As the American scientists from the California Institute of Technology have found out, the same part of the brain is responsible for aggression and for sex in our brain - the ventromedial nucleus of the hypothalamus (publication in the journal Nature). Moreover, the activation of sexual activity leads to the deactivation of aggression, and vice versa. Experiment scientists put on rats, but rats - rats, research - research, and in Russia, the manifestation of aggression is clearly visible on sexually dissatisfied women. So they say: "nedotr @ me."
Love sex, have sex, but don't make it the meaning or purpose of your life. You are capable of more.
If you don't have a sexual partner, don't despair. All of the above needs can be met in other socially acceptable ways. No one has ever died from the lack of sex. But sublimation (transformation of sexual energy into creative) has allowed many people to create works of genius. Become a genius!
Recommended:
Do Not Trust, Do Not Fear, Do Not Ask! Woland's Trap
never ask for anything! Never and nothing, and especially with those who are stronger than you. They themselves will offer and they themselves will give everything! M.A. Bulgakov Do not trust, do not fear, do not ask! Here are two maxims that have inspired generations.
Parents, Children Do Not Need Your Pain, They Need Childhood
Dear parents of already very large or still small children. I would like to appeal to you in order that you take a better look at your children. Perhaps they are different, not the way you wanted them to be, not quite like you in their views and beliefs, or not at all.
Children Do Not Need To Be Brought Up, You Need To Build Relationships With Them
“Children do not need to be brought up, you need to build relationships with them” - I read this phrase in one article and I really liked it because it is lively and light. As far back as I can remember, my mother tried to educate me. She believed that her main task was to instill in me certain rules of safety in life, to make sure that I did everything correctly and to point out my mistakes.
Do Not Believe. Do Not Be Afraid. Do Not Ask. It's Safer This Way
She sat in a chair and talked about the past week. Work non-stop, constant calls, meetings, she had a migraine attack, during which (of course) she stayed at work. She looked habitually optimistic and agitated, and at the same time tired - also habitually.
The Husband Does Not Want Sex With His Wife. Why? The Reasons Why The Husband Does Not Take The Initiative In Sex?
Husband doesn't want to have sex with his wife? To start the conversation, I will give you an example of a male position and a letter from my email: Alexander, 41 years old. My marital experience is 16 years, my wife Irina, two daughters are growing up.
