Ban On Happiness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How difficult it is sometimes to break through the snare of the unspoken prohibition on happiness coming from your own family, from the closest and dearest people.

- Don't live well!

Can you imagine what a parent would say to his child? Well, it happens, of course, but most people assess this situation as something abnormal.

And if you imagine that many people are not able to change their lives, often because they cannot. You can't live your own way, you can't look for your own path. Want to have a different profession. Choose another religion. Choose another partner for your life, not the same as your loved ones would like to see him?

And no one says aloud evil words that you, they say, should not seek happiness on other paths of life, but should follow the family hell, follow us in the trail. And it turns out that way. Because sometimes the unsaid, not formulated in persistent words, even sounds louder than what is said.

For example, you are a child of a strong-willed person. A strong-willed person decided to fulfill his life's dream, for example, he bought a plot of land somewhere very far from the center. And now everyone has to spend all weekends there, in the beds, mowing the grass, working until they sweat. And you, for example, are a person who works quite a lot all week, and you want to live differently on weekends. Lie down and read a book, go to the movies, take a walk with friends.

Your desire is, as it were, accepted, but with a gloomy look, with the words "everything is clear with you," with a clearly palpable cold, which then lingers quite clearly in relation to you throughout the next week. And you understand that the long-awaited book, movie, friends - all this does not bring any rest. It even suddenly covers in the middle of the film with an incomprehensible anxiety, and in the middle of the night from an incomprehensible nightmare you wake up with a pounding heart. And wine. The guilt is that everyone there is reveling in the beds, and here you allow yourself to do something incomprehensible … All your requests and imaginations are accepted with the same gloomy look. You are told, they say, do what you want. But from the way they say it gets worse …

Or you are a beautiful girl transforming into an adorable girl. Your mom is not very happy for certain reasons. Mom does not allow you to put a mirror in your room, arguing that then you will spend all the time in front of it. Mom is annoyed that someone calls you, calls you somewhere. That you giggle with your girlfriend on the phone. Every time you fight, you are told that it’s because you’re thinking about boys all the time. And the more mature you become, the more scary it becomes that something is going wrong, and that you do not really understand. And the guilt is also not entirely clear. And you sit at home in the evenings. And then after a while they tell you, they say, well, when will you get married, when will your grandchildren? But is it wrong to be beautiful, to flirt? And again the pounding heart at night, strange tension and stoop …

You can go over a lot of such cases when the child is clearly given to understand that he should not be either beautiful or smart (you will not be full of a book), that he should not get something else, better, faster … "I am at your age wagons unloaded, and you want an easy life …"

And again guilt … Again the unconscious conviction that real work must be difficult and unpleasant. And if it is given easily and pleasantly - well, what kind of work is it? Devaluation of their own achievements, abandonment of dreams, refusal to even try something, because "this is funny and will not bring money."

And all the participants in these stories are absolutely convinced that they wanted the best. That this is also a concern. Yes, this is a concern, a kind of such, but still …