2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Borders … This word is repeated constantly and in different interpretations:
- "You need to set your boundaries."
- "You allowed your boundaries to be violated"
- “How do you set boundaries? My loved ones constantly violate them"
How can you install them? There are many definitions of this concept, and there are countless ways of establishing.
So it seems: morning, bypassing the territory: "How is it with my borders? Has anyone not needed and a stranger made his way into the forbidden territory?"
The idea that this is something fixed and established once and for all is not close to me. An adult has the right to revise his views and change his mind.
And of all the conditionals, I like this explanation the most so far:
The psychological boundary is about the distance at which I can love myself and another person
That is, the border cannot be established once and for all. She's changing. With one person we are closer, with another - further. And the word “distance” rather than “border” sounds more precisely.
There is also the concept of distance for communication:
And we, often even unconsciously, adhere to these distances. When they fail to comply (for example, in public transport), this brings discomfort to many.
Side note: I heard from many people that the requirement for a distance of one and a half meters is now the best thing purchased.
Reasoning in this way, you can YOURSELF decide at what distance it is better for you to be with each person from your environment. And even with the same person (for example, with a husband / wife) at different periods of your life, you either move away or approach. And that's okay.
It is important to understand and realize that you cannot force the other person to leave your psychological territory, but you can explain to him why you will now "move away"
And to explain is your right, not your obligation. But loved ones still need to explain, and not endlessly explain.
When will work with a psychologist be effective?
Do I need to be able to suffer? Not a psychological article.
Motivation. Do I need to "look for" her?
Is it so necessary to admire?
Your psychologist Nikulina Marina
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