2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It can be seen that a she-wolf was sucked in childhood
And they sucked in: "you can't by the flags"
V. S. Vysotsky
- Lying is bad
- Elders must be respected
- Cross the street on green light
Introject - this is such a rule or information about life that someone authoritative said to a person, and the person swallowed it without thinking, without checking. And now it applies to the right and to the left, where it is necessary and where it is not necessary. Even when it hurts a lot.
Introject is a red flag on a wolf hunt. Wolves do not run for flags, although technically it does not present any difficulties. They prefer to die.
"Lying is bad". Sounds great, yeah. But when I am asked about confidential things concerning my clients, I sometimes lie. "I don't know such a person." The client would not be happy if I told the truth. So is it always wrong to lie?
"The elders must be respected." The grumpy grandmother near your entrance will appreciate the respect with which you will listen to her ravings about your bad manners when you are late for work. And interrupting it is disrespectful, yeah. Grandma is good. And you?
Cross the street on green light. A very useful introject, highly conducive to survival, no irony. However, if a child jumps out onto the road for a ball at a red light, and you wait for a green light to pick up the baby from a dangerous place, it can be very expensive.
No rule always works, for all occasions and without exception.… When we raise children, we are forced to broadcast in introjects. You cannot climb onto the windowsill. Yes, a child is not allowed. But an adult who has not reviewed this introject will not be able to wash the window pane.
Many of the rules that worked for our parents don't work for us. Life has changed. "An intelligent person should have a library in the house." Guys, as much as I read, few people will be able to. But I have practically no books in my house. I read from the screen. And in the days of my parents, there was no Internet.
And some introjects are, by definition, harmful.… That the world is a dangerous place. That people of a particular nationality / profession / lifestyle / gender are not like that. That there is no love, disinterested help …
All men are goats. All women are fools. Beats - it means he loves. There is no love without jealousy….
As adults, we revisit our introjects. Those that manage to be realized. And some are realized with difficulty. Especially - those that our parents themselves did not realize, but told us. Not by words, but by behavior.
Sometimes introjects are hidden so well that they can only be discovered and comprehended in personal therapy
The woman survived the robbery, returning home from work not late, but already on a dark autumn evening. After her daughter grew up, she reacted with great anxiety when the girl stayed with friends after dark, did not allow her to attend clubs and classes that ended after 6 pm - "We will not be able to meet you every time." The girl grew up with a poorly understood and comprehended belief that "it's dangerous on the street in the evening."
Returning from work in the winter (the working day ended at 18.00), she experienced inadequately great anxiety, the reasons for which she did not understand. Even if I was on a crowded and lighted street together with a colleague. This forced her to change her job for a less paid one. That is, the unconsciously absorbed introject "in the evening on the street is dangerous" led her to a deterioration in the quality of life.
Any introject is important to comprehend. How did I know this? Is this true for me, in my life and my personal circumstances? What can I do if I violate this rule? What is the risk, if any? What does following this rule lead me to? Or that I am guided by this information about the world without checking it?
Everyone is responsible for his own life. This is the only way. If someone once told you the rules or gave you information that does not fit, there will be consequences not in his life. In your. This means that only you can decide when to be guided by these rules, instructions, information, and when not.
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