And I Definitely Won't Help You. Chronicles Of A Psychotherapist

Table of contents:

Video: And I Definitely Won't Help You. Chronicles Of A Psychotherapist

Video: And I Definitely Won't Help You. Chronicles Of A Psychotherapist
Video: Hoarding and Conquering the Clutter 2024, March
And I Definitely Won't Help You. Chronicles Of A Psychotherapist
And I Definitely Won't Help You. Chronicles Of A Psychotherapist
Anonim

One day a friend called me and asked if I could take one of his friends for therapy, otherwise "the poor girl is already tortured."

Can you imagine she was in therapy with S. himself, and then also with D. And the gestaltists had both analysts and cognitive ones - no use. I even went to Z. and R. to groups. Nothing helps her

Why will she come to me? So that I don't help her too?

Well, they say about you that you work miracles

As well as about those who already had it … No, I will not take it

We have a discussion here (as always on the Internet), whether it is possible to demand money back, for example, after a course on voice restoration - is still a relevant topic - if your voice has not been restored. I pay Speech Therapist not for the fact that he told me everything beautifully, explained the exercises, showed a special breathing, prescribed a special diet … In general, not for that. And for the fact that my bewitching voice, which I work with, came back to me, by the way.

And, for example, he took the voice and did not return - there is no result, despite the paid 300 dollars for each meeting with the speech therapist. As I was recommended, he was "the coolest in the world." Do I have to demand money back from him? There is no voice.

For me, the answer is unequivocal - no, I don't. Even if I did everything according to the list: exercise, breathing, diet. And even more so if I changed everything in my own way, both with quality and quantity. Why? For one simple reason. My super-speech therapist, as well as any doctor, coach, psychotherapist, fortune teller, psychic, coach, do not sell the result. And if someone promises you otherwise, please include logical thinking. These specialists do not have and cannot have either your health, or your happiness, or a successful career, or an electrician husband for you.

A normal specialist is selling his professional time. And he is completely 100% responsible for doing his job well enough at this time. Those. he is able and knows what is required for this specialty. Has the appropriate diplomas (if they are needed in this profession) and, of course, skills. As a psychotherapist, I know psychopathology well, for example. In order to understand what can happen to a specific person and whether, for example, the support of a psychiatrist is needed. I know what rapport, transference, countertransference, amplification, externalization are, and I know how to use them all in my work. And I can still do a lot of guitics. I am constantly learning, paying for supervision, and doing personal therapy. This is my responsibility 100%. I cannot and am not going to offer the client to share with me the responsibility for all this, if I am truly a professional.

But what about the guarantees ?! There are no guarantees. I owe this understanding to the best of those with whom I studied psychotherapy. Discouraging knowledge. How does one of my colleagues, friends and teachers, Roitman, write there? "It hurts, expensive, no guarantees"? About "painful" and "expensive" is different, but "no guarantees" - this is absolutely. I don't have them.

What is there?

Statistics. My meetings cost as much as they cost, not only because I studied for a long time, I have a lot of diplomas and practical skills, and I can put letters beautifully. But also because there are many living people whom I have helped. Get out of depression, find a husband (wife), become calmer, find your personal meaning, stop yelling at loved ones three times a day, overcome fear … There are many different things. And I know, first of all within myself, that this is so.

And this is a fact. Why inside yourself? For example, because after psychotherapy, few people are in a hurry to talk about this experience. I share this experience with you for them, changing the details, coming up with similar processes, using metaphors. But if it were not for my real experience and inner sense of professionalism, they would not believe me. It is easier for professionals who can publish their experience. But the main thing, nevertheless, is our internal statistics. And I am also 100% responsible for it. If suddenly I see that 7 out of 10 of my clients leave with nothing, then I’m some kind of a bad therapist and, probably, it’s time for me to go to the house manager. Or on a long vacation, at least. The main thing is that I should be ready to see it and admit to myself that this is a fact that needs to be done something.

And what is each specific client responsible for?

For your personal result. Who else can be responsible for the fact that you will be included in 89% of successful clients of this specialist, and will not remain in 11% of those who “did not get help again”? Only you. Moreover, it is also 100%. This is your 100%, for which you are fully responsible.

What happens during the sessions?

How willing are you to present yourself, take risks, learn, ask, do exercises and assignments?

Do you understand that the meeting with the psychotherapist lasts only an hour a week, and psychotherapy lasts all week solely with your participation?

Does it occur to you that it is impossible to become a pen-boxer, sooner or later, you will have to move someone?

Recommended: