10 Psychological Gifts From Our Parents That Didn't Fall For Us

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It's not about a green floor lamp that doesn't fit into the interior. And not about outright nasty things, like beatings. And about the widespread pedagogical failures that poison our, now adult life

I don't need such a child

And also “Why do I need this grief on my head?” Most likely, by saying such terrible words, the parents meant something humanly understandable, such as: “I am terribly tired at work, and you stained my jacket, there is no other clean one and now I have to wash at night, and I will not get enough sleep again” … But it turned out literally: “Die”. Selfish psychologists from such a background rub their hands and tune in to long-term therapy: after all, you will have to raise the living dead from the grave.

I will leave you here and I will leave

I'll hand it over to an orphanage, give it to a policeman, that uncle over there, the gray wolf. Children up to a certain age can be easily blackmailed by what they are very afraid of, namely, separation from their parents. Children from this grow shy, and are in complete confidence that the earth at any moment can fly out from under their feet. The consequences are different. Say, as an option, terrible jealousy and suspicion - what if your husband throws it? Or even the absence of personal life, because if you don't have an aunt, then she will not go anywhere.

How do you talk to your father?

Or “Don't be rude to mothers”, “keep your distance” and in general “who are you here, the smartest, or what?” The problem is not that inequality is indicated between children and parents, because it objectively exists. The problem is that it is not clear, but how to talk to parents in such a way that it is considered normal? There is no answer to this question, because with such phrases the ancestors usually covered up their fear, incompetence and confusion. And yet, what is the right way to talk to your father, that is, how to behave in a hierarchical system? Better at all, it’s too scary, some decide and it doesn’t improve their career prospects. Others prefer to attack any authority, testing its strength and boundaries: will I push “daddy” or will he push me? In general, in any case, an unhealthy legacy.

Why do you need money?

Where did she go. Don't you dare lock yourself. Are you hiding something? Who are you writing to there? What do you have, diary, ha ha! Sometimes this control is maintained until deep maturity. You know yourself: "Hello, where are you, and with whom, and with whom did the children stay?" Or “I ran to you while you were at work, washed a little, stroked, laid out … what kind of mess you have in your wardrobe !?” Having got rid of constant control from the parents, an adult sometimes remains confused and does not know exactly what issues it is better not to go into, and where you can politely ask if his intervention is necessary. Where you can decide for others, and where you need to discuss your plans. If you've ever had a scandal over who should check the pockets of his pants before washing so as not to throw away the USB flash drive, then you may now know where these problems come from.

I don't talk to you anymore

And does not speak. Some are especially strong in spirit - for weeks. And so we learn that in the event of a conflict, it must be resolved … in no way. Let him suffer. And I will suffer. And we will all suffer.

You're a girl … (boy)

With this sauce, you can inspire a child with a lot of nonsense. From the popular: the boy must not cry, but must be sure to give back. And the girl shouldn't run, jump and get dirty, but she shouldn't fight back. Etc. Sometimes you can teach something useful. For example, cooking deliciously or climbing smartly are great skills. But not because "you are a girl or a boy." These skills are good for any genetic makeup. As a result, fat cockroaches are carefully cultivated in children. Ah, I have topographic cretinism, I'm a girl. Wow, I have to get drunk and fight, I'm a man. Many never get rid of them.

Just be yourself

Well, if everyone jumps into the well, will you jump too? Oddly enough, despite the horrors of teenage hobbies, being like everyone else is a pretty useful skill. People who follow traffic rules are also, for example, terrible conformists. But they are alive and get where they went. But forcibly raising a black sheep from a child is not the best idea. Everyone will have conflicts with their peers in one way or another, but sometimes parents seem to do everything on purpose so that there are more of them and they are heavier. How you live when you do not know how to find a common language with others, you and so it is clear, probably.

It could have been better

Four is not an assessment, it is a sign of a disgusting, lazy, incapable mediocrity. Hmm. Who then or does not receive satisfaction, no matter what he does, no matter how high he climbs. Or it just doesn't do anything, because what a hell to me, shit. By the way, life is bad not only for the “mediocrity”, but also for everyone who is next to him. Such upbringing grows an invisible third eye in a person's forehead, determined to notice exclusively dust on the baseboards, cellulite on the sides and missing commas in the texts on Pics.ru:)

Until you eat everything, you will not leave the table

And there are many more unique nutritional principles. For example, tasty things should be left for later. Throwing away food is a sin. Spit out - even more so. They don't play with food. Leave it to others a little. Delicious must be shared. And the signature combo: “You’re getting fat for me… you eat pies, but then you’re quite pale.” It is difficult even to imagine how these principles twist the pliable children's brain. Some, for example, learn to really eat everything that is not put on their plate, even if they do not want to eat. Others get used to life (not only in relation to food) to deny themselves the joys, until they "eat up" properly nasty things. And when the bright streak begins, we are sure that it is about to break off, because there is no such thing as tasty - and that's all for you. And of course, if you recovered, then this terrible tragedy must be immediately … seized.

What problems can you have?

Stop bawling, have you got someone dead? Nothing hurts you, don't pretend. That you pouted like a mouse on a rump and so on. First, then, we deny the child his own feelings, then we say what he really feels. The most powerful telepaths among parents, by the way, really missed fractures and appendicitis under the sauce “there is nothing to show off”. But knowing where and what hurts, in the physical and mental sense, is extremely important for, again, both physical and mental health. And it is very useful to understand how I feel now. Am I angry, offended, or maybe envy? What to do with all this economy, we will write some other time.

And for a snack we offer twenty more “excellent” parenting statements and we are waiting for your additions!

1. Well, you are just like your father / mother / uncle Kolya - an alcoholic

2. How long can you dig?

3. Intelligent people don't behave like that

4. You are my shame, my punishment

5. You will turn around like this in front of the boys, you will become a prostitute

6. If you study badly, you will go to the wipers

7. Here I am at your age …

8. But Dasha, by the way …

9. Did you touch something again? Hook hands, you always screw it up

10. Well, what a fool to take …

11. So you will have your own children - you will have a drink with mine

12. Nobody will marry you like that

13. Nothing is scary, go and do not be afraid

14. You do it on purpose, to spite me!

15. Because I said so

16. You will bring me to the grave, you want my death

17. Here the father finds out!

18. No entertainment until everything is done.

19. Only lazy people invent how to make their work easier

20. And take away those bourgeois tinkers