2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
To all the heroines-sacrifices of sad lover stories, unrecognized by their heroes, is dedicated …
The article uses a collective image on a very common topic …
A 32-year-old client wrung her hands in despair and sobbed …
- How unhappy I am, Alena Viktorovna! How I suffered!
- What happened? Tell everything in order …
- At the age of 19, I married him. The marriage did not work out. After 11 months we broke up. On my initiative. We studied, did not work, lived with our parents and two parental clans desperately pulled us to the sides, and we, like stupid parrots, obediently echoed our mothers … And so we parted …
- And then?
- He got married. I met another. Everyone lived their own lives. And suddenly this accidental déjà vu … We met and a crazy repeated feeling came through us. But with a vengeance. A waterfall of fantastic sensations … If you recall the chronology, it was I who took the initiative, we saw each other, it was tightly “buttoned up”, closed, but thawed out a little later. Meeting after meeting is a crazy cycle. I realized that I love and very, very loved. In any case, so it seemed to me then …
- And what next?
- A romance began that engulfed both of us. We both seemed to have lost our minds … And then? He insisted on my divorce. He put forward an ultimatum … And I bet on love … I left my husband. And then she was excommunicated from the child. Because in the terrible divorce scandals, the 8-year-old son was convinced that his mother was a traitor who found herself another, someone else's uncle … It was a pitch-black, monstrous, hazy hell! I barely survived in all this …
- Sadly! Bitterly! I sympathize! And what is your favorite?
- The fact of the matter is that, having insisted on my divorce, he remained in the family. He tossed about a little and returned to his wife … There he must! There he is needed! His wife, in his opinion, does not deserve complete renunciation: she is devoted to him, never abandoned her, and he will not leave her … In general, I am monstrously guilty around, I owe everyone and is unhappy everywhere …
- What do you feel now?
- Deafening, terrible rejection. On the part of a person in whom, apparently, she was crushingly mistaken twice. The heart is scalded. You will not return to your family now, there I am - a traitor who does not and cannot be forgiven. And the deceitful present cannot be changed, next to me is a person who relies on past grievances and current benefits, I am acceptable to him in the format: “I'm sorry! Should! Be patient!”… Everything inside died out. What am I left with and how to live on? And most importantly - why live now ?! All that was expensive, on which I relied - false illusions … Bitter!
At this point I will pause, switching the readers' attention to something else …
It was a sketch with a possible sketch of life. Tell me, if we resort to similar fabulous analogies, what is the described story associated with? Let it be remotely, approximately, but clearly by semantic accents … Are you at a loss with the answer? I will help - with the "Little Mermaid" of the great Andersen.
You ask: "Why do I so often resort to psychological deciphering of a fairy tale plot?" It's that simple! Life strategies in general are remarkably described by outstanding storytellers as sacred, helping hints of existing plot algorithms … And the psychological analysis of a fairy tale helps to unravel the parable metaphor in advance, using it as a recommendation, as a piece of advice. Helpful and entertaining. We all, in one way or another, live our metaphors, our parables … So, "Mermaid".
Fairy context and semantic clues
Pointless sacrifice
The beautiful Little Mermaid, having fallen in love with the prince without memory, goes to break with her family, kindred. This circumstance is irreparable and irrevocable for the girl. She does not know about the feelings of her beloved, does not have firm prospects and acts on a whim, but she will not be able to go back - the sea will not accept her betrayal …
The girl in our story does the same. She goes to her beloved, paying a great price for this - separation from her son and trampled relationship with the father of her child - bets on "love" and-and-and loses … "Don't make yourself an idol", as they say …
Like the Little Mermaid, having lost everything, she finds her beloved only for a while …
Incidental conclusions: true love does not ruin, ruin or break; as soon as you are faced with such a spiritual choice, it is not about love - about the trap of dependent relationships, where one (overt or hidden) tyrant, the other is an indispensable victim. Sad codependency of the famous Karpman triangle, if not sad …
Non-reciprocity
The little mermaid fell selflessly in love with the prince, but what about the hero? What does he harbor and feel about heroine? Kind sympathy, disposition, interest, but not love, obviously … He does not take her any seriously and chooses a more suitable party for the future (based on a superficial view of things). He does not need the selfless love of the pure and beautiful Little Mermaid; benefits, positions, status are more important to him. It proceeds from a banal calculation, egocentric sobriety as opposed to someone else's sacrifice, desperate entreaty, renunciation. But tell me, does not this contrast show through in history all the way, does it show itself only at the end? No, everything is clear enough much earlier, if you look closely … To our great regret!
Incidental conclusions: true love is mutual and equal, it does not exploit and does not use the feelings of the lover; it enriches and grants in return; exploitation of the senses of the other is possible only in a dysfunctional, dependent relationship.
Bitter end
The end of the tale is deafening, deathly sad! In a relationship of real partnership, the third is always and necessarily superfluous. How can you help here? By his choice not in favor of the Little Mermaid, the prince betrays her sacred feeling, dooming the heroine to eternal heartache. And only a conditional rebirth into a bright heavenly cloud saves a beautiful girl from endless suffering. The heroine from a life sketch also has to be spiritually reborn - to a new spiritual level, to a different picture of the world - she has no roundabout, parallel or reverse paths.
Incidental conclusions: dear, dear, vital Little Mermaids, allow me at the end of my publication to at least warn you a little against probable future troubles? Before rushing headlong into the maelstrom of dubious-questionable stories, ask yourself the following: is this selfless sacrifice, this unjustified heroism, this renunciation of the world in the name of the chosen one needed in a relationship? And does real, genuine love require all this?! …
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