The Husband Tries, But The Wife Still Yells?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-18 02:26

You try your best - take out the garbage by the hour, help your wife cook dinner, go out with your child at the first request, the house is wealthy, the family does not need anything, but the spouse is still unhappy with something and finds reasons because of what can I yell at you.

“Honey, what's wrong? What's the matter? What do you want?" - "You are not affectionate enough!"

You correct the next day, show attention, affection, and in response you hear: "Leave me alone!". Are you ready to pull your hair out - what does this woman need ?!

Common situation? Why does this happen in families?

You have a page man complex, a man who is used to pleasing a woman. This is the main goal in life. As a rule, in the head of such men there is a well-established belief that men should, should, should (a lot of things in life). They have been hammered into their heads since childhood. Often they did not have a father in childhood, they were raised only by their mother or grandmother, and there were only women around who needed to please. Accordingly, from childhood you are taught to please, and not live by yourself and your desires. Here, in general, there is a big problem of the absence of a father figure.

What is the function of the father in the family? Protecting the child from the mother's aggression, this also includes her anxiety, discontent, the imposition of a sense of guilt, it is the father who makes sure that the mother's punishments are fair and not breakdowns of tension on the child.

What to do in this case? It is necessary to work out the figure of the father. When it comes to therapy, keep in mind that the gender of your therapist does not matter. The psychologist implies two genders - he and she, and if the therapist knows how to work with the figures of the father and mother, then it does not matter with whom you work the figure of the father.

You have a certain degree of narcissism and a fairly large degree of self-centeredness. It seems to you that everything revolves around you. Maybe she got up on the wrong foot today, which is why she is in such a bad mood? Maybe she's in trouble at work? Maybe she deals with her meanings in life, lack of fulfillment at work? Maybe depression or increased anxiety? Or maybe she has a bunch of her childhood traumas that she simply cannot cope with?

Remember, you don't have to deal with childhood traumas for your wife! You can offer to contact a psychologist, talk to her frankly and offer to tell her what worries and worries, to sympathize. In fact, empathizing and doing nothing is one of the hardest jobs to do, especially around people you love.

1. You have an obsessive sense of guilt and hyper-responsibility for everything that happens. This comes out of the first two points.
2. You have not established direct dialogues with your wife because of the chilling feeling of guilt, therefore, you cannot ask directly, believing that it is better to deal with the problem yourself, without her participation. Any problem in the family is your personal problem, only yours, and you are obliged to solve it, the responsibility lies solely with you. As a result, because of this gnawing feeling of guilt, you become isolated, immersed in yourself, and there is no dialogue. You and your wife are like two non-intersecting planets - there is no contact, there is no interaction. Your wife told you that you do not show affection, you understood this in your own way and began to act as you saw fit. And what was really meant by this word?

On the example of romance - no one knows what romance is, and everyone by this word means something of their own. They brought flowers in their teeth, but you were rejected - this is not romance. What is romance for a woman? Arranged for a romantic dinner for two is not romance. But it turns out that romance is a walk along the shore of a beach of some sea.

Be sure to be clear about what your spouse means!

You are too afraid of losing her. The idea that you might part is very unbearable for you, or you do not allow it at all. Your wife has become so dear to you, albeit a screamer, that you cannot imagine yourself apart from her. However, at the same time, somewhere deep down, you have a feeling of fragility in your relationship - I will make the wrong move, say the wrong word, and everything will collapse! Because of this fear, you freeze, freeze and do nothing.

If a spouse screams, this is a symptom of a family illness. And it's better to start sorting out before it's too late. Many women endure for a long time, and then quickly and irrevocably leave.