Love And Sex With A Schizoid Man

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It is quite possible to build a long-term, fairly good relationship with this man, if you understand the characteristics of his personality.

I strongly advise women with hysterical character traits not to approach this man, but in spite of everything, it is these couples that are most often observed. Why are they attracted to each other? Apparently, the laws of physics are fatal for them: oppositely charged particles are attracted.

A schizoid man is attracted by the liveliness of a hysterical woman, her warmth, expression, vivid emotions and dramas, her sexuality - what is not available to him attracts him, like an unknown journey into a dangerous jungle. And he, headlong, sets off on this journey, to know what is not in himself, or, better to say, to learn to be alive with her. She is also attracted by his restraint in emotions and, seeming emotional stability - something that she cannot find in herself - and she unconsciously reaches out to him in the hope of stabilizing her own emotions, from which she herself often suffers. She is drawn to him, because he seems to her as an alien, and sex with an alien is the dream of any hysterical woman.

At the initial stage of the relationship, they both end up in each other's fairy-tale worlds, and if a hysterical woman easily lets a man into her world, and even more so an unusual one, then he makes a titanic effort over himself to open his soul to her, since he is extremely sensitive to the slightest breeze and extremely fearful.

In the history of such a man, there is often either an intruding hysterical mother who breaks all boundaries with her aggressiveness, or a schizoid cold detached mother with emotionally poor reactions and rare, frightening in its strength, outbursts of rage. A narcissistic mother can form a schizoid character in her son with harsh criticism, ridicule, from which a sensitive boy closes himself with ever greater psychological barriers in order to protect his soul from the one he needs so much. Often the mothers of such children use physical punishment from early childhood. And this is what brings fear to a woman and her strength into a man's life.

As a result of this childhood, most of all he wants to have an experience of intimacy with a woman, and most of all he is afraid of it. This fear leads him to the hysterical woman. She is his main teacher. Once he could not cope with the invasion of his mother into his personal space, and now he unconsciously wants to go through this trauma and master his fear: "I'm not afraid of you anymore, Mom." That's why he needs her, but more often than not, an unconscious trauma leads him to a new experience of trauma and soon, after a period of romantic relationships, he begins to move away, as she more and more needs his love, she is insatiable with love and sex.

What attracted him to her becomes frightening and he increases the emotional distance, becoming more and more silent and closed, pauses in close contact, he delves into his inner world of computer technology or science, writing novels or paintings, music or fishing. Next to such a man, any woman will periodically feel lonely, and even if they both go to visit friends, he will not be able to maintain a group conversation for a long time and soon you will find him in the company of children or pets - he is more comfortable with them than with people.

But for a hysterical woman, his detachment is a whole disaster. At home, she will definitely give him a hysteria with the reception of valerian and fainting, in the hope of at least in this way to get "crumbs of love" from him. But everything is in vain: from these hysterics and demands, he is even more closed. And she more and more often reproaches him: “You do not pay attention to me! You don’t love me, don’t you want me, do you have someone? Confess! Why didn't you answer my call yesterday? Where were you the day before yesterday? I need you so much, but you are not always there! " she screams at him, not realizing that this aggravates his fear.

But she should know that he will be devoted to her even if he is afraid of her. Perhaps in his head from time to time there are thoughts of leaving, but there are other unfamiliar women, he does not know them and is frightened even more. It is better not to change anything, but to crawl into your shell: "She will shout and she will calm down."

For many years he can sit in his inner bunker and even obey his wife in many ways, but he also has a limit of patience and in the end the black box will open and he will release the inner monsters outside. In a lifetime, it can explode only a few times, but God forbid you to witness this explosion: this is the level of rage that incinerates all living things around. If you survived after its explosion, consider God gave you a second life and you should respect its reinforced concrete borders more and more, otherwise, in the end, such a man will leave you with a sigh of relief. He will do what he could not do as a child, leave his mother and avenge her emotional cruelty.

In sex with such a man, everything will be technical and simple, it is unlikely that he will surprise you with something, since all his energy is unconsciously directed during sex to fight the fear of absorption. He is afraid of absorption on all levels: intimate and emotional. He fancies everywhere a "toothy vagina" and his task is to survive and keep himself whole, as much as possible in closeness. Therefore, sex is not the main subject of his interest, and often the last. Although he may be good enough in an intimate relationship, this is rather the exception to the rule. And for the temperamental hysterics, this is disaster number two.

What to do with this man? How is it even possible to be in a relationship with him, you ask?

Develop sensitivity to his boundaries and not constantly stimulate his fear of absorption. Rejoice when he appears in contact and not be intimidated in moments when he needs privacy. Pauses are badly needed. He is severely depleted in contacts. Therefore, a hysterical woman paired with a schizoid man is too difficult.

With him, you can walk silently through the forest together and listen to the silence. Perhaps he will not strongly object to hugs, unless, of course, you have already frightened him strongly and he has ceased to trust you. You can watch movies with him - he loves them very much -, listen to music, write a book or a song together, silently collect beautiful shells on the seashore, and most importantly, do not demand anything from him. He will give you the very best that he is capable of. It is quiet and calm with him, if you know how to switch the focus of attention from him to your own interests and affairs.

He is most suitable for a narcissistic woman who is busy with social affairs, career, business trips, or a schizoid like him, with whom they will write a genius novel or symphony or create an "Oscar film and will not receive it because of the weather."