Why Do I Hate Myself When I Eat?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I hear this phrase quite often from women. This special attitude to food and to your body was not formed overnight. This feeling grew and strengthened during a certain period of life, reinforced by various ideas received from the outside world, as well as by one's own feelings and assessments. Let's consider one of the scenarios for this behavior.

At the same time, there is a desirable body image in consciousness. It can be a memory of your body in the past (for example, a figure before childbirth, before marriage, 10 years ago, etc.) or an image formed by the imagination based on modern ideals of beauty and external information (media, social networks, fashion trends).

In consciousness, a conflict arises between the real image of the body and the ideal. Already here a feeling of inner dissatisfaction arises, which can sharply increase when you see your own reflection in the mirror, your photographs, as well as when looking at glossy magazines with photographs of thin models.

We make an internal decision that it is no longer possible to live like this, and we begin to strive for it. Often at the same time, the goal is not clearly set and the path to it is not indicated. Sudden express diets, fasting, irregular training are physically and emotionally draining, and do not give results. Disruptions, sabotage, despair begin. These conditions in themselves can lead to weight gain, and then an acute craving for junk food and confectionery begins. Why? In difficult life conditions, we strive to restore balance, receive support, and feel safe.

Delicious and nutritious food is the easiest way to get guaranteed pleasure. The cake is delicious and beautiful. There is a lot of sugar in it and the brain gets instant dope, we begin to feel happier. Satiety = Safety is an unconscious survival code shaped by evolution. When we were newborns, our sense of security also depended on timely feeding. The attraction to cakes or cookies can be a memory of a carefree childhood, when mom or grandmother consoled us with homemade cakes, showing her love and care through her. In a sense, food becomes a symbol of security and peace.

The important point is that the cake will never reject, refuse, disappoint. Eating a cake is easy and understandable, you do not need to work, strain, doubt, it is difficult to make a mistake here. The risk of failure is minimal. But the feeling of satisfaction from eating is fleeting and quickly passes. The reason for our melancholy does not disappear, we feel bad again.

Negative feelings also arise from the fact that we ourselves are going against our goals, breaking our own rules. After overeating, we evaluate ourselves as weak, unlucky, weak-willed. Our self-esteem falls even lower, there is a feeling of disgust, contempt for ourselves.

In today's world, our minds are overflowing with conflicting ideas and beliefs. For example, in the mind there are beliefs that form a negative attitude to nutrition: "This food leads to the accumulation of fat", "I will eat a lot - I will get better", "To be successful and loved, you need to be thin and eat little." Ideas from advertisements that stimulate consumption, promise instant happiness: "Chocolate is a heavenly pleasure", "Give yourself pleasure here and now", "Let the whole world wait", "You are not you when you are hungry." A conflict arises between momentary desire and distant aspirations. Since the emotional state is difficult, and the ideal is so distant and unattainable, we tend to choose momentary relief.

But breaking your own rule is like a small crime. And we blame ourselves for every bite we eat. We want to be slim, and this food certainly moves away from it. The feeling of guilt does not allow you to feel the pleasure of the eaten dessert. There is no relief, the need is not satisfied, we take another piece, another … and overeat. We blame ourselves even more, negative feelings accumulate - I want to somehow console myself and soon the thought of something tasty arises again. It turns out a vicious circle.

The moment of "food self-flagellation" during a breakdown is also curious. When, during a diet, we break down on forbidden foods and instead of eating a little and moving on in the right direction, we eat until the feeling of "now I'm bursting" punishing ourselves for weakness.

How to deal with this condition? Here's a rough plan of action:

1. Define a specific goal and build ways to achieve it.
2. Develop rules (not many, but clear and binding), and stick to them. Order in thoughts minimizes the number of conflicting ideas, leaves less doubts and inner rushes.
3. Learn to accept your body, love it now and take care of it.
4. Develop the belief that food is the nutrition of the body, a source of substances necessary for beauty, health and quality life. Love food and choose it consciously based on this idea.
5. He will learn to listen to his desires, distinguish true desires from false ones, and find ways to satisfy them.
6. Consciously allow yourself to indulge in something tasty, allocate a portion and enjoy every crumb. Then the hand will not reach for the additive, but the desire will be fulfilled.

I hope this article will help you understand a little more clearly what is happening in your life and will become the beginning of a reassessment of the situation, qualitative changes on the way to your goal. If you feel that you cannot cope with your condition in any way, and the situation is aggravated with each episode of overeating, it is worth contacting a psychologist to work out the internal problems leading to overeating, and a nutritionist to select a suitable diet.