2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For people, in whose life there was an experience of psychological shocks, life "after" resembles an energetic roller coaster. It is thick, then empty. Then the energies are heaps, everything is on fire in your hands - at these moments you can start something and even have time to do something, if, of course, you are lucky and have enough strength for it.
And sometimes life seems to freeze, pulls on a black veil, and at these moments the world is seen through a thick black mesh. I only have enough strength to … yes, practically nothing. The mood swings from sadness and despair to anger and rage.
What you shouldn't do during these periods:
Overestimate, and most likely devalue, your achievements, relationships and life in general.
Look for the culprit. Most often, children and the closest, "proven" people "fuck off".
Overeat and seek comfort in wine.
What to do:
Know that it is.
There may be other causes of your depression, for example, chronic stress associated with a specific problem, which can help you relieve the painful pressure by solving it.
But it so happens that sadness arises from nowhere, out of the blue, suddenly and also suddenly leaves. In fact, nothing has changed in the surrounding reality, but the mood has changed radically
So the psyche is trying to neutralize the consequences of psychological trauma. This process is called the “funnel of trauma”. Its essence is that the energy that rises for life is spent on digesting traumatic events, and what remains can already be spent on life. As a rule, there is little left. This process is unconscious and self-regulating. It will continue until the entire core of the injury is completely discharged. The more often and brighter these energy fluctuations, the better the mechanism works. Up and down, up and down. From rising energy to devastation.
Trauma and PTSD psychotherapists can help you navigate this path faster and more efficiently by providing the support you need. At some point, more and more energy remains for life.
What should not be done at this time, I wrote, and what is worth it is, firstly, to understand that this will definitely continue for some time, and secondly, to learn to support oneself in moments of devastation.
Where does the energy come from:
From closeness.
Quiet, gentle proximity, where it is very good.
Arriving at grandmother's old house, sitting at a table covered with an oilcloth tablecloth, holding a wrinkled hand with skin as thin as parchment, listening to her voice and seeing a smile on her face.
Tinker with the children, cover your face with small, cool palms and close your eyes with pleasure.
To come to a close friend, sit in her yard under an old walnut, wrap yourself in her knitted sweater and slowly and unhurriedly drink tea, listening to the dogs barking somewhere far away, and the gate has just creaked - it means that someone else from the neighbors decided to go for tea.
Just being close to your husband, knowing that he is here in the next room, and you can shout to him and he will hear, you can even come up and touch. He is near. And from this it is already calm and warm in my soul.
From trees, flowers, grass and rivers, from seas and oceans, mountains and steppes - from nature.
Just go out and touch the rough tree bark with your hand, inhale the scent of foliage or cut off a couple of long needles, knead them in your hand and smell the pine resin. Walking and walking along long park paths, from time to time crossing the lawns, on which it was “not to walk” in Soviet times, and now you can even lie even on a blanket, at least so, feeling the soft fragrant grass under you.
From creativity.
Creativity has great power. Written out, splashed out on paper, clay or canvas; expressed in dance, music, or sewn from hundreds of scraps, the anguish becomes a work of art, and the soul exhales, regenerates and heals.
Life is a symphony. Shimmering with peals of thunder or dying in silence, rising to unprecedented heights or sinking down into the very depths, it is united by a common idea, a single theme that runs through life. Quieter and louder, faster and slower, from angry sadness to cheerful, inspiring moments. It is different. And this difference is its essence.
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