2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Codependency is an emotional dependence on another person who is absorbed in some kind of addiction that controls and poisons his life. Dependence on drugs, alcohol, gambling or on their own psychological failure - lack of emotional stability, mental health. Basically, both people (addicted and codependent) suffer from the same thing - emotional addiction. Both run from their own experiences and feelings, shifting the focus of attention outward. From responsibility for my own life, I completely dissolve in someone or something. Whether it's a substance or another person. Now let's look at codependency in a couple's relationship. Signs of codependency:
• Taking responsibility for the life or health of a partner with deviant behavior.
• Illusion of control of feelings, thoughts, behavior of the partner.
• Ignoring and suppressing your own needs and feelings. Self-sacrifice.
• Feelings of guilt for the partner's problems and a sense of responsibility for solving them.
• Fear of parting (The meaning of life in a partner and relationship with him).
• Lack of internal supports - fear of being alone with yourself, a feeling of impossibility to take care of yourself and take responsibility for your life.
Thus, a codependent relationship is an escape from oneself into a painful attachment that a person calls love. A person denies the ability of another to take responsibility for his life and considers it his duty to do it for him. But, alas, it is impossible to help someone who does not want to. Love is not self-sacrifice. Caring for another does not mean not caring for yourself. Only through self-love and self-care are we able to be in the resource and truly help others without sacrificing our lives. Turning inward and living your own traumatic experience allows you to gain enough courage and strength to take responsibility for YOUR life without falling into the trap of codependency.
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