Unsuitable Men For Marriage

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How to recognize the types of men with whom family relationships will turn out to be frustrating

In our country, at the level of mentality, the main life task of a woman is to get married, and no later than her girlfriends do. "To sit in girls" is more terrible than a nuclear war, you must certainly go to the registry office, and only then you can fashion a real prince out of the betrothed. Therefore, trying to soberly assess the true feelings and personal qualities of a partner is somehow not accepted - since he agreed to a stamp in his passport, it means he loves!

Unfortunately, there are individuals among the suitors from whom a handsome prince will never hatch. There are two main categories of men, it is not worth marrying (or even committing yourself to them with any obligations).

First, they are sociopaths

From the "terrible" sound of the term, many conclude that sociopathy is a mental illness, a pathology. Not at all, psychologists believe that this is a way of life, expressed in the desire to satisfy their desires, regardless of others. Against the background of low empathy, “emotional stupidity,” such aspirations can acquire a dangerous, even criminal character.

The behavior of sociopaths is very effective - they are sociable, brave in their actions, ready to give gifts and perform feats "in the name of love", which flatter the ladies. But "feats" in fact turn out to be risky antics, and expensive presents are not bought with honestly earned money, but lured out by deception, or even stolen. We are not talking about love - it's just a desire to shock the audience.

A sociopath can be a person from any social milieu, but as a rule, these are the children of successful businessmen who, from birth, are implanted in the subconscious with the idea of an end that justifies the means. Parents climbed to the heights of financial well-being, often literally over corpses, so this does not scare children, they easily break lives, leave wives with children without a livelihood. Because their goal is to live as you want, and, therefore, you will have to achieve it all the time.

Of course, a fun life and a search for thrills are not complete without alcohol and drugs. For a sociopath, a girl is a sign of status, that is, another accessory that you can handle as you like. And the wife will definitely not go anywhere, she is allowed to be beaten, maimed, if she is trying to change such a wonderful way of life of her beloved. The number of negligent homicides in such pairs is the highest.

Since sociopathy is not a mental illness, compulsory treatment for such an individual will not follow, and our society, unfortunately, is unreasonably loyal to them. And such a position, of course, only exacerbates the problem, provoking more and more people to live without being guided by social norms.

Secondly, it is worth highlighting the category of men who can be called "sticky"

As you know, the sticking fish itself does not hunt, but picks up the prey of the accompanied predator, while not endangering its life, since, again, it is afraid to hunt for it. People have a certain type of men who themselves are not capable of anything, but the "reflection" of the family, company, makes them attractive for women looking for a second half. They are much more harmless than sociopaths, they will not maim or kill in a fit of anger, but they are no more suitable for the role of head of the family.

As a rule, "sticky" - children of wealthy parents. This is due to the fact that in poor families such loafers do not survive - either they learn to work, or they quickly slide down the slope - they get drunk, go to jail. In a wealthy family, she was stylishly dressed, well-mannered and looks like a very promising husband. It is not easy to consider that it exists only on the parents' money. Especially when they provide their son with a "dowry" - an apartment, a car, arrange for "warm places" to study and work.

Sitting on the parents' neck, and then, deftly moving under the wing of her spouse, "stuck" can "look for herself" for an infinitely long time. "Eternal student" is another name for such people. Getting a second, third education, but leaving the last year is their distinctive feature. They will sing about the injustice of teachers or the sudden realization of the wrong choice that can ruin their lives, as well as come up with a thousand more excuses, but in reality everything is simple: "stuck" is afraid of responsibility. Having received a diploma, you will have to go to work, build a career, support a family, and this is difficult and burdensome, requires too much effort. It is much easier and more pleasant to live on the support of parents or to shift the problem of making money onto the shoulders of the wife.

At first, life with a "sticky" girl may seem interesting. He is full of grandiose plans, which he loves to talk about, to promise "mountains of gold". But with a critical analysis of speeches, it turns out that all his conversations are about his beloved. The interlocutor interests him not as a person, but as a disembodied audience, which should only listen attentively and in the right places assent and admire. It is worth making him start fulfilling his dream, and the reaction will be negative, sometimes even aggressive. If you find him a job, he will quickly quit, or even ruin the business. All plans "sticky" - only castles in the air, and he does not know how to work, achieve anything in life, and does not want to.

As a result, when the trickle of money from the parents dries up, and the spouse puts an ultimatum on the need to get a livelihood, “stuck” simply excludes the family from her life, also blaming the wife for all the troubles. A woman often stays on the street (since her parents gave her an apartment to her husband) with children, or even debts - the "sticklers" love to take loans for their grandiose ideas, however, then they just let the money go down on themselves. Alcohol, by the way, is also their frequent companion - to drink and complain that no one understands it - what could be more pleasant ?!

What can you do to get married really well?

We can say that you cannot order your heart, but a thoughtless marriage is still a tribute to our mentality, an unwillingness to look flawed against the background of ringed girlfriends. After all, the moment will inevitably come when the state of blind love will pass and the dignity, as well as the character flaws of the chosen one, will become clearly visible. And if the shortcomings turn out to be critical, it will depend on your haste whether you will part easily to start all over again, or you will find yourself burdened with children and a mortgage, that is, not at all romantic responsibility. In the end, if a man loves, he will agree to wait until you take a closer look at him, but here are some tips for what you should pay attention to and "take off your rose-colored glasses":

Care

It's not about ritual flowers and gifts during courtship, but about the ability to show participation, the desire to help solve problems, protect. If you get sick, will he call his acquaintances in search of the best doctor? Meet me in the evening after work? Will he just listen without being distracted by an interesting TV show, will he help to understand the situation, will he remember the request?

Self-control

Love and jealousy often go hand in hand, but being overly jealous is not good at all. Distrust is equal to disrespect, not love. The jealous owner does not consider his wife a person - this is a thing that belongs to him. Can he "hold his character" for your sake, change his habit? How dependent on the opinions of friends, family and whether you are ready to go against them if they are unfair to you? And in case of your mistakes, will he be as lenient as you are to him?

Discipline

Discipline is the ability to follow the rules, including those set independently. Spontaneity is also a part of life, sometimes as pleasant as an unexpected gift. But if you save money, for example, for dental treatment, and your husband “at the call of your heart” decides to “give us” a new cool spinning rod, this is not only unpleasant, but also painful in the truest sense of the word! By the way, the ability to plan is also a kind of discipline. Ask the chosen one for his goals - not abstract, but concrete ones, for the next period, and see how successfully they will be achieved.

Achievements

What has your loved one achieved in life, how many of his plans did he fulfill? Has a habit of completing things or throws them half way - this can be seen even in household duties. Of course, “in order to become the wife of a general, you have to marry a private,” and you will be your husband's support, help you achieve more. But if a man "over thirty" has an incomplete education, several credits and rushes about with "business projects" that change like pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope … Most likely, instead of a happy family life, you will have to solve his problems, and you will not even get gratitude. he will perceive your work in several jobs as the norm, not forgetting to reproach women for the poor performance of "household duties".

Summing up, we can say that love is, of course, wonderful, but there are children from it. Romantic falling in love and family life are different things, do not give in to stereotypes, take a closer look at the chosen one, and most importantly - do not confuse your dreams with real life.