2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Quite often, in the course of consultations, clients come to the realization that one of the reasons for most conflicts, both with loved ones and in the process of working relationships, is the accumulated irritation. How, then, do people acquire a supply of negative experiences and memories that they absolutely do not need in life?
Any situation, especially one in which there is an attempt to violate the internal boundaries of a person, requires that there is an appropriate reaction to such an action. But in life, often, special events occur, which is the impossibility of an immediate and adequate response. In other words, it is not always convenient for people to respond to aggression or resentment immediately. (Although, this is not always the case) Over time, such a behavior model becomes a habit for some people, which can bring a person a lot of problems, both in communicating with loved ones and in other areas of activity.
One of my clients told me that at work, one of her colleagues showed disdain for her and the results of her activities for a long time. The attacks were unfounded, they were based on personal hostility. My client could not answer her colleague, justifying this by the fact that the latter was a relative of the boss. The situation worsened so much that the woman began to think about changing her place of work. By the course of consultations with my client, we managed to change her attitude towards the events taking place. She was able to build a system of communication with a colleague while not allowing her to violate her internal boundaries and respond appropriately. Moreover, my client has achieved career advancement from her boss.
Another example, when the accumulated irritation almost became the cause of big trouble. My client, a young man, turned to me with a problem in family relationships, his marriage was on the verge of divorce. When we started working with him, it turned out that, among other things, he was annoyed by the fact that his wife spent a lot of time on social networks to the detriment of communication with him. The man, of course, told her about this, but his wife did not take his words seriously, translated such conversations as a joke. After several consultations, my client was able to build a conversation with his wife in such a way that she understood the seriousness of the situation, the climate in their family began to gradually "warm".
When unpleasant situations happen and a person fails to express his opinion on this matter, then, depending on the severity of perception, these thoughts will continue to live in a person's head, sometimes acquiring completely unnecessary experiences. Naturally, it is not always possible and necessary to immediately and abruptly stand up to defend one's internal borders and interests, but it is also not worth accumulating negative potential in oneself. In my opinion, it is necessary to think over the plan of the upcoming conversation, on an important topic. Understand the truth of your desires, stock up on useful and understandable arguments, and only then proceed to active actions.
Live with joy!
Anton Chernykh.
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