2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Popular culture creates false expectations about intimate and family life. But real life is not only joy and happiness. We just have a skewed set of expectations. We are waiting for candy and romance, but we get difficulties and quarrels.
The truth is, relationships are never easy. Relationships require compromises. They demand infringement of their interests in the interests of your partner. Our culture has taught us that love is a feeling. But the reality is that love is actually action. We must constantly prove it in practice. This is the only way she can live.
Here are 38 more hard truths about relationships that can help you shape healthy expectations.
1. Your partner will not always like you.
2. You will not always feel attracted to your partner.
3. You will be very annoyed at times.
4. You will not always miss each other when distance separates you for a while.
5. From time to time you will get bored together.
6. You will meet people who, as you think, will be many times "better".
7. At times you will feel very lonely.
8. Your partner is not your clone. And coming to terms with differences can be tough and tough.
9. Your heart will open and close.
10. Sometimes you will feel attractive, sometimes you will not.
11. Your sex life can be challenging. This is fine.
12. You won't always want to have sex.
13. Sometimes you can feel indifference to your partner.
14. Sometimes you will feel like you are tied together. And sometimes this feeling will leave you.
15. True love is a struggle, not just pleasure.
16. True love includes fear.
17. Fear does not always look exactly like fear. Sometimes you will be scared to feel indifference, irritation or indifference towards your husband / wife.
18. The deeper the love, the stronger the fear.
19. The deeper the love, the greater the risk. This means that you realize that you can lose him / her.
20. Sometimes thoughts like this will appear in your head: “I want to leave. I want to try something else. I want to try someone else. These are just thoughts. Their appearance is natural and happens to everyone. But this does not mean that these thoughts are correct. More often than not, they are a product of fear.
21. Doubtful thoughts (like the ones discussed above) tend to come to you when you are alone in the house. Or when the partner is already asleep.
Remember: true love is always the swing of a pendulum. Today it seems to you that you cannot live without this person, and sometimes you want to never see him again. The more the experience of living together, the easier it is to accept reality and the "cell" called "family".
22. You will be surprised at how difficult negotiations with a husband / wife can be. Many people inevitably compare their relationship with the relationship of others. But be very careful: we all post only the best moments of life on social networks. And if your friend began to live with a charming girl with an appearance like Angelina Jolie, this does not mean that everything is smooth with him, as in the photo.
23. Conflicts are inevitable.
24. It always seems that you are better / fairer than your partner.
25. You can periodically lash out and insult each other.
26. Sometimes you will hurt each other.
27. There are too many ways to break trust. Do not promise.
28. No matter how you want it, you will also bring the past into your relationship: pain, childhood grievances, pain from past relationships, pain from betrayal of friends and girlfriends. And you will inevitably project this pain onto each other. We are all just a mirror of our inner world. And in this mirror there is usually no less bad than good.
29. Marriage isn't everything. It doesn't solve any problems. You both have a responsibility to keep growing and developing in order for the relationship to grow stronger.
thirty. After you have children, you will have to get used to the fact that at least in the first few years, not all of your needs will be met. The feeling of love for children will have its ebb and flow. Relationship dynamics are not always the same. And children will inevitably change your daily routine. Not in your favor.
31. There is no doubt that living with young children is a challenge. Wait. They will grow up. And it will get easier.
32. Sometimes you will feel only rage, resentment and a feeling that you and your contribution are seriously underestimated. Consider these thoughts as part of your spiritual growth.
33. You will have to become an adult, serious person.
34. Sometimes you will need to swallow your pride and apologize first.
35. You will be missing out on vacation opportunities. As soon as the two of you grow together into one family, you will realize that a solid, stable financial foundation under your feet is more important than entertainment.
36. Romance doesn't necessarily go away with age. You just need to learn how to support it.
37. You will feel resentful. We'll have to look for ways to heal from past grievances. This is the only way your relationship can grow stronger.
38. You will grow old together.
You will witness the aging process. Moreover, it is much easier to observe another person than oneself. Your wife will sooner or later develop folds, sagging body parts, scars. This can be a source of grief and frustration. Or it can be a source of joy: if, of course, you will be proud of how long you have been together.
After reading this list, it becomes unclear why people agree to long-term relationships at all. Isn't it easier to be alone? Yes, it is easier, safer and less risky. But close, intimate relationships, the ability to love and be loved - this is an opportunity to significantly grow above yourself. Relationships are a gift and a privilege. Which, however, not everyone knows how to use. And the main mistake most people who decide to divorce are in high expectations. And the unwillingness to maintain growth and invest in relationships.
So save this list somewhere. Let it serve as a reminder to you that life is not ideal. She's better.
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