Love = Addiction?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

My previous article, "Relationships-Anger-Intimacy-Awareness-Happiness," got 2,000 views in the first two days. Therefore, it is not difficult to notice that the issue of relationships is incredibly popular and always arouses interest. This can be seen from the incredible number of trainings, seminars and lectures on the topic of relationships. What's the secret? Why do you like reading, thinking, talking about it so much?

"No one will feel good next to you, while you feel bad alone with yourself …". Bert Helinger

Basically, the answer is on the surface here. Obsessed with the pursuit of happiness, you hope to access it through another person. You believe that your partner will become your door to joy, peace, pleasure and peace of mind. This is a short, far from complete list of all that we so want to have in life, for which we are fighting with all our might. This is what You don't have. And with an outstretched hand, like a beggar, you come into a relationship. "Give me happiness!" - You demand from your partner, and in response you hear exactly the same request from him. And now two beggars stand opposite, demanding the other to give what he does not have.

"In partnerships, we often want to achieve what we failed in love for our parents." Bert Hellinger

Common situation? And I already talked about this in the above. However, a modern person is very fussy, absorbs information hastily and superficially, often, practically without plunging into the deep meaning of the perceived. A modern person often has to say the same thing over and over again. Therefore, I will repeat the idea of the previous article and decipher it a little.

“And if you are ready for intimacy, the other person, thanks to your courage, will also decide to reciprocate intimacy” Osho.

Now the idea of the relationship between the sexes has received an unprecedented demand. Everyone is terribly interested in how to understand a man / woman, how to influence him, how to interact with him so as to feel everyday happiness. The question that hovers over all the portals discussing love relationships can be clothed in a quote familiar to many from the movie "Electronic": "Uriy, where is his button?"

"You need to have something in common in order to understand each other, and to be different in order to love each other." Paul Geraldi.

You really want to be happy. And the easiest way that most people and you see is to find happiness through love. Since, in the understanding of all the same majority, love is a pair process, you rush in search of another person and, sooner or later, you find. The joy of your meeting really illuminates the world around us with many colors. Mountains are not mountains, forests are not forests, and every sunrise and sunset reveals to you the wonderful depth of moments of life. And this is really HAPPINESS. Happiness that was born by itself, although You are sure that another person gave it to You. In fact, this is not the case.

"You don't have to wait for happiness - you need to experience it." Natalia Solntseva

In fact, at the moment of bright love, having met your soul mate, You stopped looking, finished the struggle. You finally relaxed and looked around. Holding the hand of your soul mate, You, as if capturing prey, stopped the hunt, slowed down the pace of your battle with the World. At this moment, your meeting with Happiness takes place.

“Neither the wind nor the scent of the rose can be held back. Everything is ghostly, elusive …

“Love, happiness, the breath of life are fleeting and transient. Blessed is the one who is able to stop the moment. Natalia Solntseva.

Happiness is a state of being in the world. This is the "I AM" state. It is stopping the chaotic leap of the mind. Having ceased to achieve anything, to run somewhere, to improve and create something, You become available for the BEAUTY OF THE CURRENT MOMENT. This meditative state is wonderful. However, due to the fact that You came to him unconsciously, You will easily lose him. And this happens at the moment when the relationship with the partner passes into the stage of creating a nest. At this moment, both again have to return to the struggle for survival, to the race for material values, to the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Behind all this, the light of the World that you saw earlier fades and cools. Now you come to your partner, stretching out your hand, and he pulls it to you: you ask each other for HAPPINESS and you cannot give it. You are both beggars.

After a while, both of you turn your hungry gazes to the side, to where your new DOOR TO HAPPINESS is possible.

“The one who is truly happy is happy everywhere: in the palace and in the hut, in wealth and in poverty, for he has opened the fountain of happiness that dwells in his own heart. Until a person has found this source, nothing will give him real happiness. Hazrat Inayat Khan.

In the quote above, the answer to your question: "Where to look for happiness, if not in another person?"

Happiness is especially your state. It cannot be connected either with another person or with any other objects of the external world. A dacha, a car, a yacht, a career are just toys that give the body a brief moment of possession, but are not able to create a deep fundamental existential state for the soul. Happiness is an inner act of Your soul, the result of love, which FIRST is born in the relationship between man and the World, and only then can be woven into the relationship between man and man.

You will probably ask now: “Why do I need a partner then? Why family? Why create and create anything? And I will answer:

“When you are happy, love overwhelms you. You cannot stop, You become generous. You are distributing your love left and right, because you are not able to hold back the flow!"

And this is expressed in Your work, relationships, creativity. Happiness pervades your entire life.