2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Continuing the theme of the depressive type of character, I would like to pay attention to how the depressive character differs from the experience of grief, from the narcissistic or schizoid characters.
Let's start with the experience of grief. The state of grief is experienced more totally than it happens in the case of depression, it is a general crisis, a huge loss of a person. But grief is the loss of something external, something outside of me, outside, somewhere in the outside world.
And depression is an experience, but not so acute, strong, it does not have that peak of pain as when experiencing grief. This state is more stable, there is a constant feeling of sadness and negativity. Here there is already an experience of losing oneself, some important part of oneself, which for some reason a person lost, she left him. And therefore, a special heaviness is felt, an enduring, constant sadness.
In the experience of grief, there is an opportunity to cry, burn out, live this pain and gradually release it. Depression, on the contrary, is not lived through to the end of grief, as if there was a moment when the pain was not allowed to survive to the end and therefore a person lives with it. Plus, there is a huge amount of anger in depression, which also lives in the person who is afraid to release it. And so grief, connecting with this anger and making an explosion in the human psyche, resulting in depression.
In a state of grief and a state of depression, there are certain phases that are different from each other. For example, the last phase in the experience of grief is very similar to the state of depression, but tears are observed there, there are resources for self-support, self-acceptance. And in a state of depression: there is grief, but there are no resources for self-support, self-acceptance, on the contrary, all this is seen by a person as something bad, terrible. You can't cry, you can't support yourself, you can't feel sorry either, but with all this, a person still regrets himself and hates himself for it.
Relatively speaking, a depressive character is a state reminiscent of the state of a person who is stuck between heaven and earth. Because the state of grief can be lived, experienced, and harmony in the soul will reappear. And depression is like the moment when a person did not reach the top of the mountain, did not live to the end, did not conquer this height and now cannot go down to the bottom to leave this mountain of pain. And from this eternal sorrow, everlasting inner tears.
What is the difference between a depressive character and a narcissistic character? The fact that the narcissist is bored. His main experience is boredom. He cannot get carried away with anything, he is not interested in anything. In a depressed state, this is not observed, in such a person, conventionally speaking, “a stone in the soul”, constant sadness, but this is not boredom, this is a completely different feeling.
There is also a big difference in idealization. Narcissistic idealization revolves around status and power, while depressive idealization revolves around morality. Narcissistic reminds of a kind of swing: I idealize you, you are so cool, wonderful, and thus I gradually compensate myself, but then I return to myself again: oh, and I'm just a nightmare next to you and so on in a circle.
Depressive idealization revolves around morality, some kind of moral qualities, moral status, there is moral compensation. For example, a depressed person may admire: a father who did not leave the family, some couple who lived to 80 years old together, some woman who showed inner willpower and lived some difficult conditions. A depressed person does not admire a person simply because he or she became famous or a politician. His ideals do not revolve around status and power. But, he can admire this politician, for the fact that he went the hard way, for example, did not leave his family, raised five children, etc.
The difference between a depressive character and a schizoid character is that it stops them. A depressed person is stopped by guilt, and in a schizoid person, a stopping feeling is fear. These stopping feelings can be described as feelings that deprive a person of upward and forward movement. guilt and fear. If I am a schizoid, I am guided by fear: I am afraid to once again start communicating with people - I will not. A person with a depressed character, guided by guilt: I would talk to this person, but he will definitely understand that I am bad, I behave badly and he will most likely see this in me, I probably should not approach him. If we talk about narcissistic shame, then here: I am so bad that I am not even worth approaching this person at all. It's even more difficult there.
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