TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE YOU?

Video: TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE YOU?

Video: TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE YOU?
Video: Shawn Mendes - Teach Me How To Love (Lyric Video) 2024, March
TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE YOU?
TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE YOU?
Anonim

Relationships between a man and a woman (however, like any others) are built according to the formula "Teach me how to love you?" What does this mean? We are sincerely interested in what a partner needs, what he loves, what he prefers, what he is fascinated with, how he likes to spend time and we give it to him.

Often we, girls, women, can get confused, omit this important moment and show our love in the way that would be pleasant to US: we write five SMS a day and call three times, send postcards, urge our beloved to talk about his problems, speak out, arranging a romantic evening, preparing a banana roll. And then with horror we find out that he, his beloved, has so many messages and calls - it is not necessary that men do not talk about problems, they solve them, and they perceive our obsession as control and pressure, that he, instead of a romantic dinner, would prefer go fishing weekend or go to the movies for an action movie and finally he's allergic to bananas!

And the point is not that he is not grateful, he just does not need what a woman gives him, he needs something else (or needs, but not in such an amount). It's silly to give a man pink socks with butterflies for his birthday, but in relationships we do this all the time!

We can call him "My plush bunny" (or as in the movie "you are my cheburaffka!") And see the response - irritation. Because such an affectionate treatment is humiliating to him, he is a lion, a tiger, an eagle, a mustang, but not a bunny, not a pumpusik-kikusik and not a Cheburaff. We try to feed the lion with cabbage leaves, and then we are surprised and offended why he left, because the cabbage is the freshest! The reason is that the lion does not eat cabbage …

It would be strange for a chess lover to give a set of an angler, a snowboarder - skis, a climber - house slippers. But we continue and continue to do so.

Another favorite trick is to give, give, do what the man did not ask for at all, and then … Bill for what was done, but not requested:

"Remember, I showed you my childhood photos last weekend, take me to a restaurant for that!"

The process of giving comes from completeness and the desire to please the partner, to show your feelings, to share them, not "I am for you today - THAT, and you are for me tomorrow - THIS".

When we are sincerely interested in what a man loves, first it is necessary to draw, outline your boundaries - what you are ready for, and what - definitely not. What line is it impossible to overstep exactly? Love and care should be from the heart, but not to the detriment of your interests and values. If your partner asks you to bring some delicacy into your life together, then first it makes sense to turn to yourself - to what extent this innovation will be acceptable to you, will you not have to step on your throat?

A man doesn’t take on "growth": it’s sad that now you’re just a locksmith, but come on, you’ll become a plant director for me. Either love and accept a man now, as he is, or you shouldn't start a relationship at all. You can't go into a relationship with a lie: now it's wretched, of course, but I'll take it for the future. The inevitable result of such a strategy is disappointment.

Growth begins with love and acceptance. It means "now it is good and we can do even better", and not "now is no good, but we will fix it." The partner feels the substitution, expectations and demands, even if it is not spoken out loud and begins to instinctively resist the attempts of his own upgrade at someone else's whim.

Any relationship is an endless search for a compromise, it is constant talk, agreements, steps towards each other. Relationships are not a struggle, they are not whoever, not manipulations, they are cooperation, partnership, consideration and respect for the interests of everyone.

Sometimes you can hear "I want him / her to feel / a", that is, the partner must guess the desires, needs, needs of the other and fulfill them by default. But the partner is not a telepathic person. A relationship is not something that happens or happens by itself. This is the painstaking work of TWO people, this is everyone's interest in the well-being of the couple, this is a creative process according to the formula "Teach me how to love you?"

Love each other and be happy!:)

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