Inseparable Couple: Aggression And Fear

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Any emotions, any impulses that are born within us, as a rule, always have a pair with the opposite polarity, like joy and sadness, stubbornness and suggestibility, the desire to move forward and at the same time the fear of this movement. One emotion is superficial (demonstrative), the other is deep (latent). Any emotion has both a positive meaning and a negative one from the point of view of the present moment. External circumstances reflect the internal state and vice versa. Sometimes one emotion disguises itself as another, and it becomes very difficult to determine which one is primary and which is secondary.

The combination of aggression and fear is very interesting. These emotions are two sides of the same coin. Fear is always hidden behind the sign of aggression.

When we are afraid of something, we are trying to hide something, we are seized by the growing irritation, which gradually degenerates into aggression. Fear can be of a completely different nature: fear of loneliness, fear of rejection, fear of being expelled from the system, fear of movement, fear of self-expression, and many others. It can be fear of something from the outside, fear of expressing your feelings, fear of meeting some new side of yourself, which was so carefully hidden not only from outsiders, but also from your own eyes. The fear of manifestation, awareness and acceptance of oneself is perhaps the most painful of the existing ones. This is a manifestation of the fear of life in general, our inner (not) permission to ourselves to accept life, live it and be grateful to our fate for this opportunity.

There is a direct relationship between fear and aggression. The stronger the fear, the more aggressive a person's behavior is. Aggression can be expressed in a variety of ways: be explicit and covert, express verbal and non-verbal levels, disguise itself as resentment and shame, manifest attacks on others, or be expressed in the form of apathy and other depressive behaviors. The Karpman triangle enters into action, and the roles begin to play out: Aggressor, Victim, Rescuer, to whom which is more dear.

If, for a number of reasons, we avoid our own manifestation of fear-aggression, we begin to notice manifestations of aggression in others, from people close to us, some accidents happen to us, light bulbs are on or household appliances fail. Our repressed emotions flow out into the surrounding space.

There is a pattern: the more we focus on recognizing aggressive behavior towards us, the more aggression we generate ourselves outside. In addition, aggression, like fear, is capable of self-development and increasing power. A small impulse is enough, which from a spark without further influence from the outside will turn into a raging flame.

If a person experiencing anger and aggression is asked the question: "What makes you angry?" - he is unlikely to answer. If you ask another question: "What are you afraid of?" - you can get in response the whole gamut of feelings, emotions and experiences that were restrained and hidden behind aggressive behavior. By carefully studying the nature of these experiences, one by one opening the doors to your own world, you can come face to face with true Pain, which serves as a constant source of fear and makes you endlessly look for the culprits of what is happening, on whom you can pour out the accumulated irritation and aggression with relief and pleasure. When you understand the reason, then there are strengths and opportunities to take what happened in the past for granted, making it a part of family history.

And then it becomes possible to look calmly in front of you and feel the impulse for the next movement!