On Vedic Femininity Psychological Analysis

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I am afraid that I will not have to explain what is at stake. Recently, all kinds of courses and trainings on "how to establish a family life according to the Vedas", "how to awaken femininity" and so on in the same spirit have become very popular. All this agitation is mainly aimed at women and its essence, in a brief retelling, boils down to the following: a woman should play a traditional female role, take care of the house and children, wear long skirts, obey her husband (all this is called Feminine Purpose) - and then the Woman will awaken in her. The power that will make her happy and will miraculously get rid of all problems.

A woman who follows her destiny is happy and she is doing well. Those who are not doing well - do not follow their destiny and do not know how to use their feminine power. Now we will teach you, and you will be fine too. Any normal person is aware of the inconsistency and inconsistency of these "Vedic teachings". Nevertheless, thousands of women involved in this "teaching" follow its recommendations and are convinced of its truth. Why is this happening?

The first answer that comes to mind is because they are fools and incapable of logical analysis. The answer is misogynistic and incorrect. Yes, among women, as well as among men, there are people with different levels of intelligence, but "Vedic femininity" is not just another nonsense that individual freaks are engaged in. This phenomenon is too widespread to be attributed to bugs in the brains of individuals.

The correct answer is that this system is popular because it works. And I will try to explain how and why.

Modern society and the cultural stereotypes prevalent in it put a woman in a very uncomfortable position: on the one hand, she has a huge burden of responsibility - for relationships, for the emotional climate in the family, for the behavior of children and husband. On the other hand, a woman has very few means of control in all those areas for which she is responsible. This situation gives rise to a feeling of anxiety (see M. Chikszentmihai's research). The feeling of constant anxiety is extremely painful and destructive for the human psyche. And any way to get rid of or at least weaken these torments will be extremely attractive for a person. In fact, there are only three ways to relieve such anxiety:

(1) pharmacological dulling of emotions

or straightening the balance between requirements (responsibility) and capabilities (power) by (2) reducing the area of responsibility, or

(3) increasing the ability to control the situation.

Well, with pharmacology everything is clear, this is not a solution to a problem, but simply a way to survive its most acute manifestations. As for the other two paths, they are very difficult to execute. Reducing the area of responsibility requires serious work to revise your internal attitudes, work out psychological boundaries, change claims and rebuild relationships. An increase in control capabilities requires a radical change in the external situation, an increase in resources (social and material) and

winning conflicts for power (since, as a rule, no one will give you power peacefully and voluntarily).

The teaching of "Vedic femininity" offers a fourth, easy and simple way: creating an ILLUSIONAL MEANS OF CONTROL. The very "female power" is the illusion of control, a kind of mythical ability to influence the events of your life through mystical rituals. In fact, the length of the skirt or the composition of the porridge has nothing to do with the behavior of the husband / partner. But if a woman believes that she is connected and through these simple, understandable and easily executable actions she can influence and control, this brings her tremendous relief. The anxiety that tormented her is weakened and the woman really begins to feel strong, free and happy. This is PSYCHOLOGICAL REALITY. This is a clear, tangible improvement in the quality of life. And it is this effect that makes the "trainings of Vedic femininity" effective and attractive for the followers of the teachings.

Moreover, such changes in a woman's sense of self can have a very real impact on the relationship and behavior of a partner. Simply because any relationship is a dynamic system and a change in the behavior of one of the partners leads to a change in the entire system as a whole (see A. Varga's works).

Is it worth it, on the basis of the above, to admit that the teaching of "Vedic femininity" is useful and deserves every approval? Undoubtedly not. There are several reasons for this.

First. "Vedic femininity" is an illusory construct. And it gives the woman not power, but the illusion of power over the situation. It makes the woman feel better, but does not change the real situation, which caused anxiety in the woman and the need to relieve this anxiety. She does not give the woman REAL leverage to control the situation in the family / couple. The changes that may (or may not) occur in a relationship due to a change in a woman's well-being and behavior still do not depend on her will. No amount of skirt length, food composition, or cleaning rituals can change another person's free will. And if this will is aimed at evil, if a woman finds herself in a relationship with an egoist, abuser or rapist, it will not work to "conjure" him into a handsome prince, even though you witch it.

Here the comparison with the action of painkillers seems to me to be very appropriate. If a person's illness is not too serious and, in principle, the body's strength is enough to cope with it on its own, taking painkillers has a beneficial effect: the patient can sleep peacefully, rest and gain strength without suffering from pain. But it's not for me to tell you what doctors usually say about patients who have started a serious illness by swallowing painkillers. In a relationship, the same thing happens: if the problems are not too deep and are caused by the unconscious evil will of the partner - i.e. if a partner also wants happiness not only for himself and is ready to invest and take care, he simply does not know how or he is not very good at it - following the "Vedic femininity" can really improve the situation. But if we have a malignant case, a woman following the teachings of "Vedic femininity" drives herself into a trap and cuts off the possibility of solving the problem at the stage when the problem can still be solved with minimal damage. In the most severe cases, it can lead a woman to death or severe mental illness.

Second. All this "female wisdom", pompously presented in such courses, is essentially teaching lies and manipulations. True love and intimacy are incompatible with cheating on your partner all the time. You cannot build long-term, lasting and harmonious relationships on the basis of lies. You cannot truly respect the person you are successfully manipulating.

An example of a character who ideally follows the principles of a "Vedic wife" in building relationships with others is known to us from the school curriculum for literature. This is Molchalin from Woe from Wit. Remember the principles: "moderation and accuracy", "… to please all people without exception", "you should not dare to have your own judgment", "you have to depend on others." It seems?;)

In fact, such a life strategy may well be effective in terms of external success. With a good probability, such a character will not live in poverty. But to call effective opportunism, doublethink, and manipulative attitude "spiritual quest" "the road to true love" and "destiny" is a disgusting lie. A lie that deprives those who believed her of the chance to truly experience love, closeness and harmony with themselves.