2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
P. Kutter noted that mature sexuality excludes perversion. This requires appropriate education, the ability to communicate with other people, self-confidence, differentiated sensuality. Then sexuality can be more than just an "instinctive breakthrough", it can serve to revitalize and enrich human ties and relationships.
A. Lowen contributed his vision to the understanding of love and sexuality. He believes that sex is a manifestation of love, while love is a manifestation of sexuality. Sexuality requires a mature mind and body. The sexual person follows the road of genitality, not of orality. The dominance of the oral means of sexual functioning - fellatio and cunnilingus - reflect the sexual immaturity that is passed off as sexual experience. However, such sexual realization is focused only on genital discharge, blocking all manifestations of sensuality, emotionality and warmth, is also a sign of immature sexuality.
The energy that goes from the heart to the genitals is the key to sexual satisfaction and maturity. A. Lowen also believed that the separation of sex from the feeling of love occurs when, through the stiffness of the human body, a kind of separation of the upper part (heart) from the lower part (genitals) occurs. In this case, sexual arousal does not cover the entire body, and the person cannot get full pleasure from sexual relations, which, in turn, leads to even greater tension.
Sexuality in the context of love was also studied by A. Kernberg. The author believes that it takes many years for a person to reach the phase of mature sexual love. Studying the issues of love, Kernberg came to the conclusion that this phenomenon is inextricably linked with eroticism and sexuality. The sexual response is presented as a subjective experience that contains unconscious fantasies, the origins of which lie in infantile sexuality. In mature sexual love, erotic desire develops into a relationship with a specific object and means some kind of agreements and obligations in the field of sex, emotions, values.
In essence, mature sexual love is a complex emotional reaction, including: 1) sexual arousal, which turns into erotic desire for another person; 2) tenderness with a predominance of love over aggression and tolerance for normal ambivalence, which characterizes all human relationships; 3) identification with the other, including genital identification in response, and deep empathy for the sexual identity of the partner; 4) a mature form of idealization with obligations towards a partner and towards relationships; 5) the element of passion in all three aspects: sexual relations, object relations and the role of the superego of the couple.
Thus, the integration of love and hate, the transformation of partial object relations into holistic ones, are the basic conditions for the ability to establish stable object relations.
According to N. Balint, mature love is characterized by: the absence of contradictions, greed, the desire to absorb the beloved object, the absence of fear of the partner's genitals and the desire to show off one's own. True genital love requires a strong self capable of balancing the interests of both partners, resolving pregenital and genital trauma in harmonious interaction.
In turn, V. Frankl believed that sexuality was not originally a human property. If Z. Freud said that puberty is the achievement of the passion of intimate relationships, attracting the object of passion to them, then, according to Frankl, maturity is achieved only when one person views the other not as a means to an end, not as an object, but as the subject of these relations. At a mature level, partnerships are accompanied by comprehension of each other, reinforcing the individuality and uniqueness of each, then such a community turns into love. Not having risen to this level of mature sexuality, but stuck in immature, a person is not able to see a person in his partner. Disintegration of sexuality, throwing it out of personal and interpersonal relationships means regression and stopping.
Literature:
1. Balint M. Basic defect: Therapeutic aspects of regression.
2. Kernberg O. F. Relations of love: norm and pathology
3. Cutter P. Love, hate, envy, jealousy: Psychoanalysis of passions
4. Lowen A. Love and orgasm
5. Lowen A. Sex, love and the heart: psychotherapy for heart attack
6. Frankl V. Theory and Therapy of Neuroses: An Introduction to Logotherapy and Existential Analysis
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