2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is nowhere to rush. Anything that happens quickly doesn't last long. P. Gaverdovskaya Again I remembered these words, put into the epigraph - and again they hit me deep into my soul, responding with a slight and pleasant tremor of "recognizing my own." Everything that happens quickly does not last long … A fast-built house that begins to fall apart after six months - instead of a detailed construction, selection of building materials, taking into account the peculiarities of the terrain and climate … Rapidly arising sexual passion that disappears after one night - instead of careful approach and recognition of each other, when there is a chance for something more than one orgasm … Rapid switching from one meaningful business to another, preventing filling with what was and what was lived - instead of a thoughtful transition from one state to another … Haste devalues what was, not allowing to be filled, to feel the taste of life, which can be both sweet and bitter. But this is the taste of life … Any big business has an aftertaste, and if you don’t feel it, don’t feel it, don’t give yourself time for it, then it’s as if there was nothing. Now I am sad that a relatively short but eventful and emotional moment of my life has ended, but sadness makes me feel the value of what was, and the value for me of those people with whom I shared my feelings. And joy and pleasure, added to sadness, create a unique aftertaste, to escape from which is to empty yourself.
The voice of life can be quiet, it is a whisper that tries to break through the roar of cars on the street, the voices of colleagues / bosses / relatives / friends … It is difficult to concentrate on it if you run in sync with the crowd, in the rhythm of a big metropolis - or even just stand in a crowded public transport. It is difficult in general to realize the value of things, people and ongoing processes, if you go from step to run … The words of a taxi driver, leisurely driving through the city, in response to my impatience: "I think so: it is better to be 15 minutes late for work than to be in the cemetery." …
It takes time and leisurely attention to break through your own fantasies about a person to a living and real person (or experience). Quick reactions, impulsive responses - all of them rely on pre-stored templates, on illusions about how and what is arranged in another person …, watchful waiting. See yourself - too. How many times my impulsively realized "I want!" was replaced by an unsatisfied "why!?" … And it was possible to pause ("I will not immediately, because the first impulse is wrong") or just slow down. Do not stop him, do not freeze - but move on, but slowly, without missing the details of the unfolding picture. And sometimes, when faced with the temptation "I want!" And often I find emptiness and longing there, which I want to over and over again with impulse and haste … So, my "want" is not there … This does not mean that any impulse is evil. After all, life is not only a leisurely flow of the rhythm of nature, when the sun rises from century to century, seasons change, and "everything returns to normal." After all, this is a sharp jerk of a leopard after a long wait and tracking down prey, a jerk, in which all the energy accumulated during the waiting time is invested. This is the spontaneity of the dance, in which we release the accumulated fatigue and regain freedom of the body … A good impulse is one that has matured, one that has been prepared, and not by feverish efforts, but by gradual maturation. The birth of a butterfly is preceded by the pupal stage. You can, of course, quickly and effectively glue wings to the caterpillar, but it is unlikely that she will be able to use them … not refracted in the soul, sharply provokes action. There is nowhere to rush. Anything that happens quickly doesn't last long. There is really no hurry … More and faster - it is, formally, better than less and slower. But less and slower is better than nothing at all. And life - it doesn't really like extremes.
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