Grace's Laws. Psychologist's Observations

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Natalia Grace is a talented psychologist and business coach from St. Petersburg, in her book "The Laws of Grace" she formulated a number of laws that will help you become a little wiser. Here are a few of them.

Perhaps they will help you today.

1. Law of zeroing

The brain needs zeroing. If you have returned home and can barely stay on your feet, and only fourteen things out of twenty-eight planned for today have been done, if you have sat down and sit, staring blankly in front of you into emptiness, then do not blame yourself for the inefficiency! The brain cannot follow your orders smoothly. He also needs to take care of himself. He must, after all, put things in order in all those little things that you threw at him. At this time, you need the absence of any information from the outside. The brain is "cleared" at this time. This is zeroing. Even the soil ceases to be fertile when in the seventh year it is not allowed to rest, but forced to give birth again. This makes her a barren slave. Long live zeroing!

2. The law of false kindness

It only seems to us that we are helping by solving other people's problems. We make them worse. When we forcibly drag an alcoholic into treatment, we only prolong his agony and waste our own time. He will drink again, and we will begin to consider him an ungrateful pig, instead of asking ourselves if throwing pearls at all is worth it. A person must solve his problems by himself. He grows up as his problem-solving arsenal grows.

3. The law of indicativeness of trifles

How a person manifests himself in small things - that is how he is! He can be generous royally, but once a year, and the petty nature is manifested in the little things every day, so the little things are much more revealing.

4. The law of germs

There are germs of phenomena and events.

Although these embryos are not living, they have the ability to reproduce. One cup left will entail a mountain of unwashed dishes. One inscription on a freshly painted fence will soon not be left alone - the entire fence will be covered with writing. How to use the law of the fetus? All unfavorable phenomena and events must be recognized in the embryo. The embryos of all that is bad must be destroyed. If you do not like some vital phenomenon, eliminate its embryo. It is much easier to melt a snowflake than to stop a snowball.

5. Better under- than over-

This applies to absolutely everything. For example, if you are giving a speech, finish it before people get tired. Goethe said: "The secret of boring is to say everything." Let's go on a date - say goodbye a little earlier than your partner wants to do it. Leave guests before they yearn for loneliness. Remember: it is better to under- than over- …

6. Law of the general team

Two horses in one harness are able to move 15 tons. But each of them separately - only 3 tons. Get involved in business no less than twos and you will be effective. "A thread twisted three times will not break soon."

7. Law of the magic word

It turns out that the magic word is NO, not please. Many problems can be avoided by learning how to refuse people. Do not spend time in empty communication "out of politeness." Don't lend money when you don't feel like doing it. This is much better than suffering over whether they will return or not. Give what you can donate, but don’t lend. Goethe said: "If you want to lose a friend - lend him money." I discovered an interesting phenomenon. When a person refuses reasonably, then his self-esteem increases, self-respect increases. People are afraid to refuse. Do you know why? They are afraid of not being liked! And you can't please everyone. Learn to calmly experience other people's negative emotions about your refusal. If you immediately say "NO", then it will be easier to argue the refusal. Refuse easily.

8. The law of falsity of ideal conditions

There will never be perfect conditions. It is foolish, of course, to deny that favorable circumstances rarely happen. Even less often, someone has the wisdom to use them. Partly because the opportunities are hidden under the guise of problems that need to be addressed.

9. The law of supply

One person, let's call him Mikhalych, wanted to change his motorcycle for a new, more modern one. Mikhalych posted an ad in the newspaper that a motorcycle was on sale, since he did not have the entire amount to buy a new one. The model was five hundred shaggy years old, so there were no calls on the ad, but at the end of the week one person still called. Mikhalych met with him, and he offered him a very modest price, about three hundred dollars, saying that this motorcycle could only be used for parts. Mikhalych became indignant and said that he would sell him for at least a thousand. The client left with a sigh, and it was clear that he did not break down, but was really not ready to pay more, and he left his phone to Mikhalych with the words: "If you still decide, call me." Mikhalych did not even think to change his opinion about the old horse and did not call. The client himself called back a couple of days later and again offered three hundred dollars, but Mikhalych refused. A week later, when Mikhalych left the office late in the evening, he could not remember for a long time where he put the motorcycle until he finally realized that he had been stolen. Suggestions are made for a reason. Fate thus often takes care of us.

10. The law once established

Once established, it works great!

11. Law of compensation

There is no such thing as everything at the same time! Can you imagine?.. Wife: beauty, manicure, hair, pies do not dry out at home, in bed with her husband - wonders of ingenuity and passion; children are bathed in attention; sings brilliantly, entertains guests by playing the piano; healthy - well, just blood and milk; docile, silky character, meets with a smile, a genius poetess, a successful business woman, an ideal friend … Everything does not happen at the same time, so Napoleon was afraid of cats, Tchaikovsky ate paper and cried up to ten times a day, Suvorov often pretended to be a fool, Schiller put rotten apples on the table to feed the muse, and Bach threw a wig at the organist when he was out of tune. If in one thing a person has achieved significant success, then in another he usually has a shortage. But a person is valuable not so much for the absence of vices as for the presence of virtues.

12. Law of influence

The environment influences what a person will become. In medicine, there is such a concept: the reaction rate. Obviously, someone is destined to be slimmer, someone more complete. But even within the limits of the concept of corpulence, you can be a plump handsome man, or you can be flabby and blooming to the point of ugliness. With the same genetics, mind you. This is called the normal reaction. Even if a person does not tear the stars from the sky, then he also has a certain reserve of this very norm of reaction. In one environment, he will become developed (even if relatively), and in another - primitive. The environment affects a lot, if not everything. We turn into those who are next to us, and much less often we turn those around us into ourselves.

13. Law of the cross

The cross is given to everyone in strict accordance with his back.

14. The Law of Polar Response to Talent

Talented people always evoke polar reactions: either delight or hatred. It is impossible to take them indifferently. It is impossible not to notice them, to ignore them. It is impossible to forget them. They are remembered, loved, hated, thought of, envied. Therefore, if you are talented, then do not rely on everyone's approval. Enemies will be already because not all talents have gone to them.

15. Law "Not your people"

Not your people will leave you anyway.

16. The Law of Shared Memory

Most of all people are connected by a common memory of events and all sorts of poods of salt. Shared memory is the basis of attachment and the fairly calm stage of ongoing love. Thus, getting into the memory connects people. If you want a good affection - fall into the memory of good.

17. The law of binding thoughts to your neighbor

A person who is close to us makes us think about himself, even if he is not interesting to us. This is the danger of the closeness of worthless people.

18. The law of inevitability of losses

In everything that a person does, he makes mistakes. Therefore, losses are inevitable. Losses are inevitable, gentlemen! Knowing this, one should not be too upset. We can influence a lot, but not everything. There are general laws of the universe. We cannot be perfect, and neither can our actions. Accept the inevitability of loss with humility. Perhaps it is only needed here.

19. Law of halves

Any picture of the world, any business can be symbolically divided into halves that complement each other. The halves can be called initial and final. It is still possible to set the tone for the initial half, but if it materialized, then the final half begins to "finish drawing" as if by itself. This is the essence of situation management. You can set the start half to get the desired end result. To reinforce this idea, I will give an illustration. You were probably trying to understand why some people cause reactions of admiration and adoration in others? They act like they can't help but like them. If you need to make a speech, then their whole appearance shows: I am ready for an applause, and people begin to applaud, completing the second half. They look as if they are waiting for a reaction of adoration - and people begin to look at first with interest, then they fall in love. Get the right starting half and success is guaranteed.

20. The Law of Right Action

If a person does the right thing, then his affairs are getting better and better every day.

A series of photographs "Flowers"

Photo artist Barbara Florczyk