2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The neurosis is based on unconscious internal conflicts. Therefore, due to the impossibility of realizing them and resolving them constructively, the neurotic finds various mechanisms of how to solve them in a neurotic way. One of these ways is to create an idealized image.
What is an idealized image? It is an image of himself that the neurotic creates and believes that he corresponds to him or should correspond to him. For example, to be strong, brave, honest, responsible, beautiful, smart, talented, etc. This image is always far from reality, it is always flattering, but it affects a person's life.
The more unrealistic the idealized image, the more presumptuous the person, i.e. he does not possess the qualities that he claims or possesses them potentially.
The more unrealistic the idealized image, the more vulnerable a person is.
An idealized image can be inflated and this becomes noticeable to other people, but not to the neurotic himself. He may understand that he is making excessive demands on himself, but he is proud of this and takes them for true ideals.
Important to rememberthat true ideals awaken inner forces for growth and development. An idealized image hinders development, because he either ignores the shortcomings or condemns them.
We can say that the idealized image is a part of psychosis in neurosis. He is always unconscious.
Variants of the relationship of the neurotic with the idealized image
- If the neurotic's attention is directed to the real "I", which is insignificant in comparison with the idealized image, then we see a lot of self-humiliation and self-contempt.
- If the neurotic's attention is directed to difference between the idealized image and the real "I", then we observe constant attempts to build a bridge between them. This manifests itself in speech in constant repetition: "I must …", I must feel, think, do. Constantly trying to be perfect. Deep down, he is convinced of his perfection, but he believes that he could be even more perfect if he was more strict with himself, more alert, more in control of himself.
The protective functions of the idealized image
1. Replaces real self-esteem and self-confidence
What is needed for self-confidence?
- Emotional energy
- The ability to form your own true goals
- Be an active creator of your life
With neurosis, these conditions are destroyed, self-confidence is weakened. Therefore, it becomes necessary to create an artificial image and inflate your sense of significance.
2. Hides the defenselessness of the neurotic
The neurotic feels helpless in a vast world inhabited by enemies. He constantly compares himself to others. Basically, he feels weak and despised - so he is constantly on the lookout for something that will make him feel more worthy than others. For example, more loving or more cynical, or more sinless, stronger, etc. He has a great need to stand out.
3. Creates resilience
If in our inner mirror we see ourselves as a model of virtue, then even our most obvious flaws disappear.
4. Hides the existence of internal conflicts
The neurotic cannot face his real shortcomings, because this would confront him with internal conflicts and break the artificial harmony. The more rigidly the idealized image is guarded, the stronger the internal conflicts, the more destructive they are.
It is important to understand: the main function of the idealized image is to bind and hold together the contradictory and opposite parts of a person. An idealized image creates an artificially whole person. He brings salvation to a person, and therefore is so strongly guarded at the slightest attempt to attack this image.
Therefore, the therapy of neuroses is complex and lengthy. After all, if the client allows the therapist to destroy his image, then he will have to face his weaknesses, with his personality, often despised by himself. Face your conflicts and not be afraid to be torn apart by them. And this meeting takes a lot of time and patience, both the therapist and the client. But when this meeting takes place, it gives the chance to become a truly strong personality, more significant than the entire idealized image.
(Based on Karen Horney's Theory of Neuroses)
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