Silent Cry For Help - Self-Harm

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Video: Silent Cry For Help - Self-Harm

Video: Silent Cry For Help - Self-Harm
Video: Self Harm: A Silent Cry For Help 2024, March
Silent Cry For Help - Self-Harm
Silent Cry For Help - Self-Harm
Anonim

Silent Cry for Help - Self-Harm

Self-harm (English self-injury, self-harm)

From 1 to 3% of people self-harm The vast majority of them are adolescents, but there are also adults. Of course, there are those who do themselves some kind of harm only once in their entire life. However, in some people, this behavior becomes habitual, and is of a compulsive, obsessive nature. Self-harm occurs throughout the world and in all walks of life. Usually begins in adolescence and includes activities such as pulling hair, brushing skin, biting nails, cutting skin, cutting, burning, sticking needles, breaking bones, and preventing wound healing.

Among adolescents who practice self-harm, 13% do it more than once a week, 20% several times a month under the influence of a certain type of stress. There are two groups of reasons that explain such actions:

1) the teenager either has too many emotions that he cannot cope with and, the pain of self-harm gives them a way out;

2) there are no emotions at all, he feels insensitive and inflicting a wound or bruise on himself gives him the opportunity to feel alive.

After hurting himself, the teenager feels not only relief, but sometimes euphoria. Some say that pain and flowing blood cause very pleasant experiences that interrupt the negative emotions that tormented them before the act of self-harm.

For others, such behavior is stupidity, nonsense, or "a cheap way to attract attention." Parents and other close people are horrified at first and try to persuade and threaten to persuade them not to do this anymore. But self-harm is not a one-time provocative behavior, but a difficult (for everyone, and especially for the teenager himself) symptom. And like all symptoms, it cannot be completely controlled. Therefore, such persuasion, and even more so threats, usually accompanied by inner fear, disgust and horror of parents, do not lead to anything, except that their daughter or son begins to hide both scars and their experiences. And families try to hide this fact from others, regarding it as a shame and a defect / failure of their upbringing, experiencing the pressure of shame, fear, guilt.

As a rule, this is done by people with a very high sensitivity to the world around them. They are able to subtly feel and experience strong emotions, to experience severe mental pain. The pain is so intense that they inflict physical pain on themselves in order for the mental pain to "calm down." However, this problem is much more complicated and broader than it seems at first glance.

Myths and facts about cuts and self-harm

There are many myths about self-harm. An outsider is completely incomprehensible why something should be done with oneself, because it hurts and traces may remain. It is strange and incomprehensible why this should be done deliberately and voluntarily. Someone is simply frightened, others immediately have ideas about abnormality, about some terrible complexes, masochism, etc. Some of them immediately give out ready-made pseudo-psychological explanations, which in most cases are completely missed. It is often said that:

Myth: People who cut themselves or do other self-harm in this way try to attract attention

Fact: The painful truth is that those who self-harm themselves are keeping it under wraps. Agree, it's strange to try to attract attention so that no one knows about it. The self-injuring person does not try to manipulate or attract attention in this way. The consequences of self-harm are usually hidden in every possible way - they wear clothes with long sleeves, cause damage where no one can see, talk about neighboring cats. Fear and shame for their actions leads to the fact that they not only very rarely seek help, but also hide their actions in every possible way.

Myth: People who self-harm are crazy and / or dangerous.

Fact: Indeed, often such people have experienced an eating disorder (anorexia) before, they may have depression or psychological trauma - just like millions of others. Self-harm is how they cope. Labeling "crazy" or "sick" doesn't help.

Myth: Self-injured people want to die

Fact: Usually teenagers don't want to die. When they do damage, they are not trying to kill themselves, they are trying to cope with the pain. As paradoxical as it may sound, in this way they help themselves to live. Of course, among people who self-harm, the number of suicide attempts is higher. But even those who make such attempts still share when they try to die, and when to hurt themselves or do something like that. And many, on the contrary, never seriously thought about suicide.

Myth: If the wounds are not deep and not dangerous, then not everything is so serious.

Fact A: The danger of injury has nothing to do with the strength of a person's suffering. Do not judge by the severity of the damage, the very fact of cutting is significant here.

Myth: All these are problems of "teenage girls".

Fact: Not only. The problem is just completely different ages. If earlier it was believed that there are significantly more women, now the ratio is almost leveled.

Warning signs that a loved one is cutting or otherwise self-harm

Since clothes can hide physical damage and inner confusion can be hidden behind external indifference, loved ones often do not notice anything. But there are certain signs (and remember, you don't have to be completely sure and have 100% proof to talk to your child, friend and offer help):

- incomprehensible and unexplained scars, cuts, burns, bruises, bruises, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs or chest.

- blood stains on clothes, towels, or napkins with traces of blood.

- sharp and cutting objects such as blades, knives, needles, glass shards or bottle caps in personal belongings.

- frequent accidents. People prone to self-harm often complain about their clumsiness or accidents to explain their injuries.

- in order to hide damage, such people often wear long sleeves or trousers, even in the heat.

- the need to be alone for a long time in the bedroom or in the bathroom, self-isolation and irritability.

Self-harm is the way. A way to deal with and partially cope with pain, with too strong emotions, with painful memories and thoughts, with obsessions. Yes, this is a paradoxical way, but this is the only way out that has been found! Sometimes it is an attempt to cope with overly intense emotions, relieve pain, and feel reality. Physical pain distracts from the pain of the soul and brings it back to reality. Of course, this is not an option seriously, it does not solve all problems, but for a person it may work for a short time. Each has its own cause and essence of the problem, they are connected with their personal history, with their inexpressible words and unbearable pain, or horror, or guilt, or despair. Those unbearable feelings that are not clothed in words find their resolution in action. They can be of a ritual nature, protecting from something inevitable, pacifying other obsessions, or be the result of redirecting aggression directed at a loved one to oneself. There can be many reasons, and it is important to understand what is true for a particular person.

What to do? Psychological problems do not mean immediate mental illness, let alone hospitals. But if this happens, you need to consult with a psychotherapist (either a psychoanalyst, or a psychologist, or a psychiatrist). And it is unlikely that therapy will be short-term, since such symptoms indicate that the psyche has been building defenses for a long time and the mental pain is very strong, it will not be possible to immediately approach it. Teenagers seek understanding and, at the same time, carefully protect their inner world from annoying intrusions. They want to talk, but they cannot express themselves. Therefore, perhaps, the best interlocutor at this moment will not be parents, who find it difficult to remain passive listeners, but a stranger, and if there is no way to turn to a psychotherapist, someone from relatives or friends who can be around, sympathize and not panic.

But, if this behavior becomes repetitive or habitual, it is better to immediately seek help.

The help of a psychotherapist will be more effective if the teenager has family support, if he is not seen as a traitor and a madman who cannot be trusted. Unfortunately, from experience, in cases where a teenager under pressure seems to find some socially more acceptable solution (tattoos, piercings, for example), new and often more severe symptoms gradually appear, since intra-mental pain and conflict are not ours your permission.

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