All The Bitterness Of Not Accepting Myself

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Video: All The Bitterness Of Not Accepting Myself

Video: All The Bitterness Of Not Accepting Myself
Video: Jordan Peterson - Why The Idea of "Just Accept Yourself!" is Nihilistic and Insane 2024, March
All The Bitterness Of Not Accepting Myself
All The Bitterness Of Not Accepting Myself
Anonim

Accept yourself … I am often asked to clarify this phrase. Accepting yourself means treating yourself as a given. As a family. Yes, I am like that … Self-acceptance is a non-judgmental, unconditionally positive attitude towards oneself. The first thing to do on the path of self-acceptance is to stop gnawing from the inside, scolding and hating yourself.

Hating yourself is easier than loving. The feeling of hatred can openly manifest itself inside a person, or, in a depressed state, it periodically resembles painful injections of "poisonous thorns". Self-loathing and toxic shame are an explosive mixture of behavioral patterns that interfere with living and interacting with people. The presence in the head of such unpleasant "inhabitants" makes their owner mock himself over himself throughout his life.

Self-dislike is a strong closed emotion with a deep content, including a large number of sensations, thoughts, ideas and influences of an unfavorable nature. A person becomes a rival for himself, without any exception. Unlike anger and irritation, hatred has more destructive power and duration. Seeing an enemy in oneself, the personality is destroyed under the influence of anger for non-compliance with some specific social requirements, which for some reason are very important.

Then a person simply rejects his formed qualities and traits, refuses to accept personal mistakes and the mistakes of others.

Demanding to oneself, the desire to be perfect and the inability to achieve the ideal - this is the whole person who denies his own essence. Hating himself, a person slowly poisons and destroys his soul and body.

Areas that are attacked by hatred can be: self, body, abilities and actions, gender, belonging to a particular group (family, nationality, social caste), culture. Methods of manifestation are different: alcohol, smoking, drugs, refusal to eat, or, conversely, excessive passion for food; love of extreme, when the subject participates in dangerous situations and is interested in them (example: modern Street racing); regular injury in the form of cuts, burns to oneself; disregard for their appearance; provoking hostility from society (example: a client with a large overweight tells how she likes to eat hamburgers in front of her friends condemning her eating behavior).

The individual simply denies himself (does not want to be what he is), experiencing an abnormal feeling of guilt, struggles with himself, renounces himself. This is one of the original methods to overcome the hardships of life. Intense self-loathing "blooms in bloom" as he tries to suppress his pain, replacing true reality with reality that tells him that he is "a complete nonentity."

Two parts of the personality take part in the formation of this form of behavior.: the first part - the child (the child perceives himself from the words of people close to him, not yet endowed with the ability to compare and analyze). The second part is the parental part (the accuser) - a hidden display of a certain adult who has become a source of negative opinion. It is this “accuser” who gives himself the privilege of condemning all the actions of the “guilty” in the most severe form, while the sensitive part - the “child” cannot answer.

This happens according to the following scenario; some event went wrong, the "accusing parent" contemptuously comments: "you are nothing!" Since the “child” is dependent on the “parent,” the only way of cooperation between them is through emotional dictate. The “children's part” is drawn to the “parental”, performing actions that will make the “condemning” pay attention, even if it will again be an unflattering review.

Further, the “childish” part is deprived of the right to defend oneself or the ability to declare its needs (insignificant people are strictly prohibited from doing this). As a result, the experiences are "strangled", the circle closes on itself or the negative pours out on strangers.

Such a clever technique reduces the tension from the feeling of disharmony, but for a short period of time. The inner “parent” will not stop accusing him of insignificance, because this phenomenon is a kind of sound recording, turned on in the “repeat” mode and terrorizing the mind. And he doesn't care what events happen to the individual. In any case, the "child" will continue to experience awkwardness and embarrassment.

The most important thing in getting rid of self-dislike is awareness and honest acceptance of this emotional state

You should analyze your adolescent fears and grievances, make the "accuser" your ally, turn him into a loving and supportive adult comrade, help yourself, intensely control weak points, although habitual patterns of behavior will try to return everything to its place, because this is more usual and, respectively safer.

An effective practice for freeing the soul from feelings of guilt is the technique of forgiving oneself. It can be realized with the help of any meditation. The most important condition is regular conduct (daily for a month).

Forgiveness technique "I forgive myself for …"

Performing this technique, you should take the most comfortable lying position and in your mind begin to remember all the moments and actions from your life for which you excuse yourself, saying the phrase "I forgive myself for …". No need to strain, let associations arise freely. The phrase must be pronounced clearly, without leaving the side. The meaning of meditation is to feel insight (when the subconscious mind "gropes" something significant, the body will immediately react by relaxing the muscles in a certain area - a pleasant and unfamiliar impression until then).

Next, you need to stand in front of the mirror and start saying the first thing that comes to mind at that moment. Despite the fact that it may seem like absolute nonsense and nonsense (for example, "I forgive myself for the fact that I am wearing a terrible dress, that I have no taste, that I look disgusting, etc."). And try to grasp the insight again. The moment when the reflection in the mirror will show a wonderful and calm person, with a bright, sweet and contented face, whose appearance you will like.

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