LET YOURSELF BE

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It would seem, how can you allow yourself to be, if I already exist? How can you afford it or not? Who or what can prevent this?

Everything is very simple and complicated at the same time! As strange as it may seem, but usually we ourselves do not allow ourselves to be. This happens due to attitudes that have been formed since childhood in the form of programs that declare how it should be and how it should not, what is possible and what is not. At the same time, we very often do not even realize what we should and why we should not. We do not ask ourselves questions about what will happen if we disobey our own prohibitions, whether our life will become worse from this, or, conversely, it will improve. And all this because fears of something new, fears of not being in line with something or someone, fears of being misunderstood or rejected by significant people - seem so big and insurmountable.

Therefore, every day we live over and over again many of our social roles: a child for our parents, a parent of our children, a partner of a loved one, a professional in their field, a friend for someone … reinforced by the expectations of others from us, their ideas about how we should behave and what we need to do. For example, how often is it necessary to listen to parental opinions, even if they contradict our own? How to raise children correctly so that they feel needed and grow up as decent people? How often do you need to be interested in the affairs of your friends so that they consider you a friend, etc.

What is also very interesting is that often a person perceives other people's expectations of himself or his role as his own sense of duty, for example, it’s not someone else who wants to see me reliable because he is so comfortable, but I must always agree, otherwise I will become a bad person. Failure to fulfill such a duty, a person may experience self-doubt, guilt or resentment, and this is the very same "INATIBILITY TO BE"! After all, when our life entirely consists of satisfying the needs of others, we put ours, at best, in second place, at worst - in one hundred and first, very often, completely forgetting about our own desires.

Because of this, there is dissatisfaction with life, dissatisfaction with oneself, anger sometimes appears for the whole world, and sometimes for oneself, a feeling of fatigue and melancholy can flood in a huge wave. And then not only fears seem so big and insurmountable, but the whole life is a difficult test.

To protect yourself from such prospects, in fact, it is unnecessary to undertake something supernatural, you just need to:

LET YOURSELF understand that improvisation, and not strict fulfillment of your social roles, is not a rejection of them, but an improvement in their quality.

ALLOW YOURSELF to pause in order to understand who I am now, what I personally need, what I want.

ALLOW YOURSELF to stop seeking approval from others in this, they are unlikely to approve, because this may disrupt their usual way of life.

ALLOW YOURSELF not to postpone the allocation of time for yourself "very soon" or "someday", but to allocate it as soon as possible.

LET YOURSELF BE in your own balance between such an anxious WANT and a very strict MUST.

Thank you for your attention! Regards, Anna.