Survive Loneliness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"Loneliness repels. It is fanned by sadness and can not arouse interest or sympathy in people. A person is ashamed of his loneliness. But to one degree or another, loneliness is everyone's lot.". Charlie Chaplin.

Loneliness is burdensome. Loneliness is terrifying. Loneliness makes you suffer. I am ashamed to admit, even to myself, that you are alone. Talking about it with others is taboo. It is like a gum that you chew, you chew - for years, but you can't spit it out. And from this you feel despair and fear that this will be forever.

"I cannot get married and I suffer from loneliness", "I am married, but very lonely", "I am 45, I have a lot of friends, but I feel lonely."

Loneliness is an inner state of mind.

And it doesn't matter for his feeling whether you have friends, are you married, whether your parents are alive and whether children are running around your apartment. Or you live alone and you have no one.

Sometimes loneliness, on the contrary, is even more acutely experienced when it is as if there are a lot of people around you, life is seething, but there is no such thing, the main thing, that would give you the opportunity not to feel lonely.

What are you missing?

Usually people say that they lack a person next to them who will understand and share with them all emotional experiences, will feel and experience this world with them in unison - a like-minded person. However, over the years it has not been possible to find such a person. And you chew on your loneliness gum. Why? There are people, look around, there are a lot of them and they are nearby. What is the problem? THEY are not able to understand you, create spiritual comfort, peace for you, solve your problems, share with you the pain of misunderstanding: "How to live in this world?"

That is, these people are not able to understand you the way you would like. YOU would like to! But you can't do it - they don't understand you the way you want it. And you continue to live with the hope of meeting someone who will understand you and chew your loneliness further. Do you like this life strategy? If so, then you can stop reading.

No? Then think about it, is your problem in people? Probably not.

Maybe the fact is that you yourself do not understand something about yourself, but expect this understanding from others.

How, then, to cope with loneliness, if not by looking for another person?

First, try to understand what your loneliness is based on.

What can the state of loneliness depend on?

The loneliness of a person usually depends primarily on his inability and inability to talk to people about what seems interesting and meaningful to him.

Secondly, because the views of this person may seem unacceptable and impossible to others. Or he thinks they think they are.

Loneliness can also be due to the fact that a person perceives the world around him as too unstable, aggressive and dangerous and unconsciously chooses to remain alone than to risk and expose himself to the tests of interaction with this imaginary aggressive world.

Also, loneliness can be associated with the experience of an existential crisis - a period of anguish and doubt, the feeling of being "thrown to the edge of the abyss from this beautiful world where everyone feels great."

There are other reasons that lead to loneliness.

Such reasons block human interaction with the world.

And you have your own individual reason. Therefore, loneliness is not an objective unchanging reality and reality, but your subjective temporary experience of the impossibility of finding and maintaining constant close contacts with the people around you.

How to be now?

Of course, you can continue to live, feeling loneliness, without changing anything - not understanding why this is happening and suffering, plunge into depression. Dangle like a lonely leaf on an autumn tree, hoping that winter will not come.

You can try to adapt to the general mass of people, avoiding getting into situations where you feel lonely, loading yourself with work and deeds.

Or you can try to change the situation. How?

You may have figured out something by now. And you can continue to try to understand about yourself and your life.

One of the possibilities for this is psychotherapy sessions. Psychotherapy sessions are a space where you can live your loneliness without being alone - together with a therapist. This is a space where you, together with a psychotherapist, can understand your condition, the reasons for this condition in you, and unravel its meaning in your life. After all, if you are experiencing it, you need it for some reason. You just don't know about it yet and suffer from a misunderstanding.

Psychotherapy - makes it possible to understand the meaning of what is happening to you. And on the basis of this understanding, create new ways of interacting with the world, which means - in a new way to build your relationships with others.

Not avoiding loneliness, but understanding its meaning in your life to build relationships with other people

After all, in the end, as J. Hollis said:

It is our loneliness that allows our uniqueness to unfold

Do you want to change your life? Try!