2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
From the author: One of my clients came to my session with such a monologue … I publish with her consent.
I'm ready to be myself. I am ready to part with everyone (let them be safe and sound), but to be myself: a philosopher, a black sheep, an eccentric, strange, stupid, but myself.
I'm ready to give up. Now I know who - myself.
I don't want to be beautiful, I want to be myself.
I don't want to be smart, successful, rich, married, loved, adored. I want to be myself.
I don't want to be sexy, young, old, happy, skillful, playful and enlightened. I want to be myself.
I do not want to be understood, recognized, approved, or forbidden. I want to be myself.
I don't want to be with or without someone. I want to be myself.
I don't want to be loving, loved, fighter or idol, praised or humiliated. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter whether someone sees my lines, at least one person, or they will not leave the mouths of tens and hundreds. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter if I'm beautiful or sexy, stupid or talented, foolish or submissive. I want to be myself.
Let these lines be quoted by every living person, or not a single soul will see a letter. I want to be myself.
I don't know what my wardrobe will be like. Whether it becomes bright, catchy or defiant, boring, tasteless and gloomy, frivolous, delusional, or perhaps it won't change at all. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter if I meet someone or die alone. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter if someone understands me or everyone will forget. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter whether my talents will reveal themselves or shine in twilight. I want to be myself.
To like and be loved is NOT the goal of my life. I want to be myself.
Right or wrong with the rules. Obediently or rebelliously, consistently or without order. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter if I value myself or destroy myself. I want to be myself.
Painful or easy. Joyfully or furiously. I want to be myself.
I will forgive myself and destroy myself to atoms, but I want to be myself!
Be simple and complex. As a child or as an adult. But I want to be myself.
Be proud. Hope, burn with shame, brag and hate, disappoint and go crazy with delight, but I want to be myself.
Deep or superficial. Evil and kind, generous or universal curmudgeon. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter if they will forget me in centuries or not remember in a minute. I want to be myself.
It doesn't matter what they write on my grave and whether they write something, whether there will be a grave with an expensive fence or the ashes will be scattered over the trash can. I want to be myself.
Be a tramp, a leader. A leader and an oligarch, a whore or a saint, it doesn't matter. I want to be myself.
I don't want a normal life. I want my life.
Whether ingenious lines come out from under my pencil or treacherous spots of vanity. I want to be myself.
I will injure someone or save from great pain, destroy or restore from the ashes. I want to be myself.
Whether I'm going to be considered strange, brilliant, absurd, or sick. I want to be myself.
Legends will be made about me, or no one will remember my name. I want to be myself.
It is so insignificant and great that I am saying now, and it does not mean anything at all, because I want to be myself.
I want to be myself. I will find out what to do. It will happen in due time.
You cannot be prepared for this. It's always with me. I want to be myself.
_
Olg
Damian of Sinai, Leadership development coach, expert psychoanalyst
Head of the Center for Strategic Coaching and Psychotherapy
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