How To Get Rid Of Childhood Grievances

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Today I was thinking about children's grievances and how they affect adult life and how to get rid of these grievances..

Either way, in long-term therapeutic relationships with clients, not a single hour is devoted to past and present relationships with parents. And it doesn't matter if they live nearby or far away, and whether they live at all. They are with us forever - in the depths of our psyche. Over the years, I am less and less surprised by the stories of rage and resentment against their mother in 60-year-old women. This is how we are arranged - our psyche and unconscious remember everything and keep everything. And from the height of life's flight, it would be time to overestimate, forgive, forget and live in joy and peace, but it does not come out.

Why?

The luminaries of psychotherapy claim that we all come from childhood, that is, everything that we have learned, which impressed us greatly in the early years of our life, lays the foundation for our sense of self and perception of the world. And the key role in this process belongs to significant people from childhood, as a rule, mom and dad. If the memories are blissful, then the heart of an adult is filled with gratitude and love for parents, and if not, then feelings are usually mixed - rage, indignation, anger and love, gratitude. And this confusion of feelings causes a conflict within. It's like a cocktail of incompatible ingredients - pickles with milk and horseradish. Ugh? Yeah. And a person feeds himself on this every day, being sure that there is no way out.

How to get rid of grudges

What to do?

First, pour the contents of the cocktail into different glasses. Here I have hatred, and here is gratitude and love.

And give yourself the right, allow yourself, allow yourself to feel negative emotions. This is fine. And do not listen to the voice inside, which will shout - "you can't be angry with your mother." Can.

Now take a piece of paper and write down all the rage, anger, indignation, etc., recalling specific examples and cases. Swear, resent, threaten on paper. Depending on how long you have been saving all this - give yourself time. Be the toughest prosecutor. The main thing, when finished, do not forget to tear up and throw away your "masterpieces". Return to this exercise until you feel better

And it will definitely become easier and you will gradually be able to get rid of grievances.

Now take your passport, yes, open it to the first page and look at your age.

What is written there?

More than 14?

So now only you are 100% responsible for your life.

I do not want? I know. It's easier to blame. But you have to - this is the only way to fill your life with joy and peace and finally drink the second part of the cocktail of love and gratitude, as well as finally get rid of childhood grievances.

And also, if we do not do this, but we will certainly pass this scenario on to our children. What for? After all, you can write your own personal masterpiece, create a unique vitamin cocktail and sometime in the centuries someone will smile and say: "This is all my great-grandmother." Give him a chance at these words.