Why Does The Schizoid Devalue? The Schizoid With Narcissistic Compensation

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In reality, this topic is quite complex, deep and slightly confusing. It is generally accepted among psychologists that there can be no narcissist as such without a schizoid foundation. What does this mean in simple terms? If a mother for 2-3 years is emotionally turned on and treated her child with all the warmth, at 3 years old she cannot become emotionally cold and devaluing, consider the baby an object of satisfying her own needs.

Of course, there are exceptions, but such situations can occur extremely rarely. To begin with, let's briefly recall who the schizoid and the narcissist are. A schizoid is a person who has gone through an unsafe childhood, up to the fear of death. According to Stephen Johnson, an American psychotherapist and Ph. D., this is a child who was hated as a child.

About daffodils S. Johnson says: "A narcissist is a child who was used and devalued by ideal parents." As a result, the emerging little personality felt vulnerable and rejected. People with such a problem are characterized by an eternal strong hunger for emotional contact and at the same time a strong fear of direct communication with someone, because for them, the default relationship is set to use.

In the case of the schizoid, the relationship is associated with the fear of absorption and merger, the horror of losing oneself. To some extent, these fears are somewhat similar. In practice, it is difficult for an outsider to define a narcissist as a person or a schizoid with narcissistic compensation. From personal experience - I considered one client a schizoid for a long time, and only after 1-2 years it turned out that he was a narcissist (fear of relationships was associated more with shame, with the fact that he would be considered a loser, unworthy of anything, and as a result rejected).

Theoretically, there could be such a situation - the person was at first a schizoid, but after going through this psychological stage, a narcissistic dynamics began to be observed, which eventually leveled off into a neurotic one.

Another case from practice - one of the clients looked down at everyone, devaluing. It is quite logical to consider such a person to be narcissistically equipped. However, plunging completely into the depths of the problem, we saw an insane fear of rejection (for him, rejection by others was equated with murder - I will not exist!). That is why you should not immediately "hang" a label on a person, treat everyone according to the situation.

How are the schizoid and the narcissist similar? Both one and the second can abruptly get out of the relationship. A schizoid with narcissistic compensation due to a panic and inexplicable fear of complete disappearance and absorption will abruptly go into schizoid isolation, leaving the relationship through narcissistic depreciation.

Thus, to others, he may seem like a narcissist. Such a situation is quite acceptable - in fact, it is a kind of counter-dependent reaction to a relationship (withdrawal from the relationship into oneself, “blocking the surrounding irritants” - “That's it! I'm not there, I'm in the house”).

The problem is that this behavior (“I'm in the house”) is typical for a person with deep schizoid disorders in combination with narcissistic ones, but the latter are not basic. This is why no one ever says "a narcissist with schizoid compensation." Diagnosis by a psychotherapist is done according to an earlier disorder and a stage of development. For example: if the violation occurred at an early age (0-1 years), then it will be a schizoid, later - a narcissist. Of course, a schizoid can give out some kind of hysterical reaction, but at the same time he will remain a schizoid, tk. the first childhood trauma was the deepest.

As a rule, deep dynamic diagnostics can be carried out only in therapy, in communication with a psychologist, when a person is forced to take off his defenses in order to open up a little. Situations are often very painful, so not everyone wants it, and some people, even in psychotherapy sessions, cannot fully open up. Nevertheless, the human psyche is as accessible as possible only to a psychologist and only in the office, and not somewhere at a party in communication with a friend / girlfriend.

Alas, in our society it is customary to "diagnose and label each other," and as a result, in society, narcissists are rejected, and some kind of undisguised and instinctive disgust goes to them ("Fu-fu-fu! It's better not to communicate with him, he's a narcissist! ").

How should you behave? To begin with, we can assume that a person has a schizoid trauma, then it will become easier to feel sorry for him a little (we are all afraid of relationships - someone is afraid to hurt his self-esteem or his deep core of identity, someone is overcome by the horror of being destroyed in a relationship as a person). Even fear deserves the usual human respect, attention and sympathy in the good sense of the word (not pity and humiliation!) - “Okay, I understand! You are so arranged, it is difficult for you … If anything, I am near and I am not going to reject you."

The most difficult situation arises when a person rejected himself from others (he thought that this would happen and ran away, deleting another person from his life). This line of behavior is typical for schizoids, narcissists often commit some kind of aggressive act in the end. Here I would like to quote the words of one client: “When a person leaves and closes the door behind him, the room that was in my mind disappears with him … Just in case … so as not to hurt me … If we meet again, contact comes to life, and this whole room is rebuilt."

So, the standard schizoid with narcissistic compensation is isolated from others, hiding in his "house", rejects and hurts, but does not devalue the partner in the relationship aggressively.

Each of us has schizoid, narcissistic and neurotic dynamics (ideally, all parts should be represented in the same way, then this is a more or less healthy concept), so you should not be surprised if you see in narcissists at the same time pleasant people, striving for relationships, and schizoids, ready to hide at any moment. Each person is unique, and this dynamic is perfectly acceptable and normal.