What Do We Pay A Psychologist For?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When a woman does a manicure in the salon, she pays for the manicure itself, and not for an hour and a half of the master's work. When we visit the dentist, we pay not for the drilled tooth, but for the fact that it was cured, that is, for the final result. When we need to complete a transaction for an apartment, we pay not for the time that a specialist (realtor, for example) will spend with us, but for a document that will confirm to us that the transaction has been completed. There are many examples. We are accustomed to the fact that if we pay money for a product or some service, we receive the product immediately or immediately get the result. This is logical.

They also expect results from psychologists, as, for example, about the same hairdresser or doctor. Only here the analogy with the coach is more appropriate. When you go to the gym, you want a nice, lean, toned body. But you don't know how to do it yet. You use the services of a personal trainer so that he thinks over and compiles an individual program for you, according to which you could work out in the gym. The trainer himself does not lift heavy dumbbells for you and does not run for you on the treadmill. He supports you, guides you, believes in your strength and that you will succeed. You know that getting fit takes effort and more than one or two gym sessions. Some have been training for years to learn how to properly distribute the load on the muscles, to be in good shape. And they spend money on it. These are the investments that you invest in yourself in order to get the result - to be healthier, more resilient, and have a beautiful body. Would you be able to see the result after the first training even with a professional trainer? I think no. Significant changes take time and strength. From the first workout in the gym, you can feel how your muscles get stronger, your mood improves due to physical activity, and it is easier for you to get up in the morning. The coach supports you in your endeavors, you feel how your faith in yourself is strengthened. Yes, it costs money, and not small ones.

The psychological difficulties of people, like pumping the body, also cannot be resolved in one day. And sometimes they do not dare, and not in one month or a year. Because a person could live with this problem for ten months or years and it takes effort to change something in his life, so that he can learn other ways to resolve difficulties and improve the quality of his life.

Many people believe that if they have any difficulty, they can seek advice from friends. And sometimes, it really helps for a while. They listened to you, you felt a little better, but the situation remained the same. Why is this happening?

Imagine that you have turned to your friend with a problem. Once he listened to you for 15 minutes, hanging up, referring to being busy, the second time you talked with him for two hours, when you were periodically distracted (by phone calls, for example). Or he wanted to go to the window or pour himself some tea for a conversation with you … In this case, you lack complete, without evaluative attention to your person. Thus, you do not feel safe, despite the fact that the friend is a close person to you. In addition, when addressing your friends, you always describe your difficulties in the same way, as you are used to…. And you get approximately the same words in response: “Calm down, everything will be fine”, “Don't worry like that,” etc. Sometimes your model of solving difficulties with friends can be evaluative: you are wrong here, do so, but I had … By accepting advice and recommendations and acting on them, you shift responsibility for your life to another person. And if the “good advice of a good friend” does not work, you can always find someone to blame. But this does not solve the problem. And sometimes a friend may even be offended at you, get angry, or if it is unpleasant for him, he will keep silent.

A friendly conversation can be limited to one conversation about a problem, which does not guarantee you a certain result. So, let's summarize.

How is a conversation with a psychologist different from a conversation with friends, and what do we pay psychologists for?

1. The psychologist guarantees you 100% attention. This means that the time for which you pay, the psychologist will not drink tea, answer calls, get up from his chair, etc.
2. On the one hand, the psychologist creates an atmosphere of safety, comfort and acceptance of you, on the other hand, he is not burdened with friendly solicitude towards you. That is why, where your friend can keep silent, in order not to offend, the psychologist will tell you about it with respect, without evaluation, and will help you to realize those features that you have and which make it difficult to communicate with people around you. It can also help you build constructive, desired relationships with other people.
3. The psychologist doesn't just listen carefully and ask you questions. Every minute of your time, it works and is included in it. He observes, analyzes. This work requires a lot of energy and emotional investment. During this hour he lives his life with the client, sympathizes with him and this life is far from joyful. They share with psychologists suffering, grief, despair, fears … And it can be difficult to endure.
4. The psychologist keeps the secrets of clients. And this guarantees you that neither your friends, nor your relatives or colleagues will find out that you have been to a psychologist and what you talked about with him there.
5. The psychologist will build a conversation with you in such a way that you will feel support, you will feel that you are understood and accepted. To do this, he studied for many years to recognize mental processes, received many years of expensive education, and was once a client himself in order to work with clients in the future. In his work, the psychologist uses techniques, methods, approaches that he studied and carefully worked out. In this way, he can find the true cause of the client's concerns and help to cope with them.
6. The psychologist will share responsibility for your problem with you and will look for the best ways to ensure that you can cope with this situation.
7. The psychologist will not demand attention, time, or sympathy from you. He won't talk about himself if you don't ask. All the time that you spend together will be dedicated only to you. Because this time is yours. In our ordinary world, a relationship between two people who is focused on only one person is doomed to failure. The relationship between the therapist and the client is focused only on the client, his problems, feelings, wishes, suffering. Money allows you to equalize this imbalance.
8. You don't have to like a psychologist to be considerate of you. You don't have to be “good” to impress. The psychologist's office is a place where we can be ourselves.
9. A good psychologist must be in good shape. At his work, he faces emotional overload. From time to time has to undergo personal therapy with respected colleagues, and this, as a rule, costs a lot of money. He should also attend various supervisory groups where cases are being analyzed, improve his qualifications in various courses and programs. This also requires material investment. And this is a necessary part of the work of a psychologist. He must also speak at various conferences (as well as attend them), conduct seminars, webinars.
10. The psychologist rents an office, which costs money, so that nothing can prevent the client from concentrating on his inner world.

If, despite these 10 answers to the question: what am I paying a psychologist for, you have not received an answer and you are overcome with doubts, I propose to consider such a question as - why does not a psychologist work for free and why is it expensive?

First, a professional is usually expensive. This applies not only to the field of psychology and psychotherapy. A professional does not work for free, as he values his education, his time, his skills, his professionalism. A psychologist who works for money not only fulfills his professional duty, but also earns his living through his activities, which is logical and natural. If a psychologist is embarrassed to take money for the work done, estimates it too low, or "earns money" at home in the evenings over a cup of tea, then that is how much he invested in the level of his qualifications. It is also about the safety of the client himself. Agree that a free psychologist does not inspire confidence. Why does it work for free? Is he putting an experiment on you? Is it meeting your needs at your expense? Free is not always good. Money changes everything.

Money in psychotherapy is a certain qualification that repels people who are driven by simple curiosity or clients with low motivation to work (for example, there are requests like: "I want you to talk to my daughter so that she starts listening to me"), or clients who have already tried everything and came to you to make sure that your services will not help you either.

The money that the client pays to the psychologist is a confirmation that there can be no other relationship between them, except for the therapeutic one. It is a guarantee of creating a secure, open, helpful and trusting relationship.

Money not only motivates the client to work with a psychologist. This is a guarantee that a person intends to change something in his life. By paying, the client shows responsibility for himself, for his life, and for the changes that will occur in him. What is paid for dearly cannot be a priori thrown into the trash. The person who spent the money will make an effort to maximize the use of this knowledge, experience in his life and get benefit from it. In other words, if a person puts "zero" into his work, then at the output he will receive the same "zero".

Many people think that if we went to a psychologist and paid him, he should solve all our problems in one or two meetings. But the psychologist is not a magician, and not a magician. A psychologist does a paid job, but does wonders not with a wave of a magic wand. Paying for his sessions, a person loses his illusions, and begins to take responsibility for his actions, thoughts, deeds.

And finally, I would like to add that psychotherapy should be paid for by a tangible amount for the client. We are developing in deficit, not in abundance. This can be felt vividly when we will give part of the amount from the salary to sessions with a psychologist. If the client pays below his capabilities, this indicates that he has an appropriate attitude towards himself. He treats himself as a less significant person than he really is.