Life Scenarios

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Another opportunity to look at yourself and your life from the outside. And draw conclusions that will allow you to improve it (life).

Claude Steiner proposed Scripting Theory. First of all, we are confident that people are born mentally healthy, and that when they have emotional problems, they should still be considered normal. We believe that these problems can be understood and resolved by analyzing the interaction of a person with other people and understanding what kind of suppressive prohibitions and prescriptions were imposed on a person in childhood and maintained throughout his life. Transactional scenario analysis is not a theory that only psychotherapists understand. It provides common-sense explanations that are understandable to the person who needs them, namely the person with emotional difficulties

Scenario analysis is a decision theory, not a violation theory. It is based on the belief that in childhood and early adolescence, people make life plans that make future events in their lives predictable. When a person’s life is based on such a decision, they say that he has a life scenario.

Human life contains a number of possibilities. She can be free. If it develops according to the script, the script can be tragic (dramatic) or banal (melodramatic). Both tragic and commonplace scenarios can be "good" or "bad."

The banal form of the script implicitly limits the person's autonomy. People are more likely to follow commonplace scenarios than dramatic ones. Representatives of the so-called "minorities" often live according to commonplace scenarios; these scenarios are based on less severe parental injunctions and prescriptions than tragic scenarios. Sex-role scenarios are commonplace scenarios ("A woman behind a man's back", "Big and strong daddy")

“One of the main concepts in transactional analysis is this: people are okay. This idea can be formulated in another way: people, by virtue of their nature, are able to live in harmony with themselves, with each other and with their environment. Simply put, we are born with a vitality that predisposes us to be healthy and happy. This potential is realized in every person in accordance with the material conditions in which he is born and finds himself during his further existence. (c) Claude Steiner

Crisis situations should not arise if there are no "toxic" factors around us. There are, of course, exceptions, but these are really exceptional cases - hereditary disorders, cases of bipolar mood disorders and schizophrenia.

"… hereditary components are insignificant compared to the non-hereditary, environmental causes that give rise to these disorders."

These "toxic" environmental conditions affect people's ability to reach their potential.

“… If our potential to lead a satisfying life is unavailable and unfulfilled, we find ourselves in a state of alienation or powerlessness. Alienation can affect the strength of our senses, our thinking ability, and our very physical existence."

Scenario "WITHOUT LOVE" (in the original - "Lack of love")

"Lack of love is a person's alienation from their feelings or from love and from the ability to cooperate and live in harmony with other people."

One day, Claude learns the history of one Ugandan tribe - IK (Colin Trumbull in the book Mountain People ("People from the mountains") describes how the forest - a living environment - was cut down and made a tourist place), which, after living for two generations in a "civilized" environment, turned from a once friendly people who love children into a group of selfish, cruel individuals who do not trust anyone and do not provide help.

Taking this real story as a basis, he writes "The Tale of the Fuzzies."

Modern social norms are instilled in people from early childhood. They instruct people to praise and express support for others, not to ask for or accept the praise and support they would like to receive, not to reject unwanted praise and unnecessary support, and not be able to support themselves.

This applies to relationships between young and old people, between men, women, parents and children, siblings, family members, etc. This leads to the fact that we feel unloved and incapable of love. It is difficult for us to trust our partner, it is difficult to express our emotions and feelings, it is difficult to speak pleasant words and accept gratitude from others.

We are sad, isolated and depressed. We stop loving people and are unable to act for the benefit of others. We learn that we cannot allow someone to become close to us, that we cannot completely trust other people, and we become unable to cope with normal changes in our relationships. In short, we lose the capacity for love and for the joys and worries that accompany it.

The extreme form of manifestation of this scenario is severe depression caused by the feeling that “no one loves me” or “why love me at all” or even suicide.

How does this happen?

Parents do not show any gestures of sympathy and warm emotions in relation to each other, and besides, they give little affection and stroking to their child.

Parental Prohibitions

"Don't let closeness"

"Do not trust"

Exiting the script

As a therapy for this scenario, K. Steiner proposes to cancel the economy of strokes and behave more naturally. K. Steiner points out: "in order for this cancellation to take place, a person must step over parental prohibitions that prevent him from freely handling stroking: asking for strokes, rejecting strokes that he does not like, and giving strokes to himself."

Scenario "WITHOUT JOY" (original "Lack of joy")

In this case, we are not friends with our body. We do not know how to feel it.

“We are told that our mind or spirit is separate from our body and that our body is, in some respects, the less significant of these two elements. We are told that those who live off their brains deserve more respect. Some of us are taught that carnal pleasures are dangerous and perhaps even vicious. We get used to denying our bodily experience, which includes emotions, both positive and negative. We are encouraged to consume unnatural foods devoid of nutritional value and ignore their harmful side effects. We are encouraged to ignore the way our own body perceives diseases and to get rid of them with the help of drugs, many of which only temporarily eliminate the symptoms of dysfunction. As a result, our body, which is a vessel, a matrix of our vitality and vigor, becomes a stranger to us and turns against us through diseases, insurmountable fears, addiction to dangerous foods and drugs, as well as an inexplicable and, apparently, perverted need for sex. violence, gambling, drugs, pain that we cannot control, etc."

Our life is concentrated exclusively “in the head”, and we have very much forgotten how to feel our body and its needs. Many people lose touch with their body and train themselves to ignore its messages. I don't mean basic needs like food, sleep, etc. There are many more sensations of the body and they are very diverse. The head does not give pleasure, these are sensations and the body experiences them. To live only with the head means to live without joy.

When using stimulants, Colors become brighter, a person regains lost confidence, and the world again seems beautiful and amazing. But this connection is restored for a short time, and different substances have side effects (headache, feeling unwell the next day). The body honestly shows us what it thinks about such stimuli. But we are used to stubbornly ignoring his messages until some vital organ starts to fail. Some people seem to refuse to recognize the body as part of themselves and even consider it a burden.

How does this happen?

Emotional or physical abuse, torment, hunger, or the violent death of a loved one can cause this scenario. This can lead to phobic disorders in which the person is unable to cope with anxiety.

We think that we are unhealthy, unable to control our body, powerless in front of our desires and emotions. We lose hope and commit slow or sudden suicide.

A scenario is also being laid due to the fact that Children love to run and jump, jump and fight, scream, scream, laugh loudly, protest and cry. Emotional self-expression is pleasant, but it is difficult for parents to endure such energetic manifestations of feelings, and parents limit the child's emotional self-expression and, hence his pleasure.

Children are taught to live in inconvenience: they are not given the opportunity to choose what they like, and therefore they have to do what others require of them. Therefore, children are constantly in a state of moderate to severe discomfort: they wear uncomfortable clothes, they have to sit still, experience fear or emotional pain, without having permission to express displeasure.

The extreme manifestation of this scenario is alcoholism, drug addiction, or an unnatural craving for drugs. Our sight and hearing are enclosed in a hard shell of rationality, which takes away from them up to 90% of their sensitivity. Young people use psychedelic drugs and rock music to crack this shell. When music is loud enough, you feel it with your whole body, just as you did when you listened to your mother's lullabies. LSD and other drugs temporarily restore the vision to its former ability to see brightly and distinctly.

Parental Prohibitions

"Don't Feel What You Feel"

"Don't be happy"

Exiting the script

To overcome the gap with one's own body, K. Steiner proposed to achieve a feeling of centeredness, i.e. feel both joy and pain more deeply. For this, it was supposed to use body-oriented psychotherapeutic practices, primarily those associated with breathing.

Scenario "WITHOUT MIND" (original "Lack of sanity")

We all have the opportunity to develop our mental abilities that allow us to understand the phenomena and facts of the world around us, predict the outcome of events and solve problems. This ability is largely developed in some people and becomes inaccessible to others who are unable to think in an orderly way. The scenario “without reason” according to K. Steiner is formed in the case when parents, by ignoring his opinion, actually teach the child not to use his adult part, not to think independently. Systematic lying and devaluation that characterize a depressing environment lead to a complete breakdown in thinking ability

“Some people’s minds are flooded with uncontrollable chaotic ideas. Others cannot keep the thoughts in their minds long enough to come to logical conclusions.

The script makes a person fulfill the desires of other people and ignore their own desires. This breaks the connection between the head and body (feelings and mind), we move away from our inner center. Ignoring feelings leads to a split in the personality. After all, when a person ceases to notice some of his feelings, they do not cease to exist! Feelings continue to influence our state and behavior. Unexpressed shame, anger, sadness, or fear accumulate and find expression in a roundabout way. Sometimes they manifest themselves as painful bodily symptoms (what is commonly referred to as psychosomatic disorders), anxiety, insomnia, or some form of behavior."

How does this happen?

The main message is "Do not think"

For example, Ignoring logic: “Dad, why are you scolding mom, because you yourself did not ….. (something)” - “Talk to me! The clever guy was found! . Instead of explaining your position honestly, not being afraid to look vulnerable in front of the child and sometimes admit that you are wrong.

Parental Prohibitions

"Don't get it done"

"Don't be significant"

"Do not think"

Exiting the script

Since the basis of the scenario "without reason" is ignorance, then, accordingly, to overcome such a scenario, it is necessary to exclude such a phenomenon from the relationship with one's immediate environment. K. Steiner noted, “To learn how to deal with ignorance, it is important not only to be able to explain your feelings and thoughts, but also to fight against power games, since the ignoring side often reinforces the ignorance with power games … The main thing is to remain in an adult ego state and refuse any further cooperation with the ignoring until she explains her behavior."

A strong adult state is assumed here, but the “no mind” scenario itself blocks its manifestation. In other words, a person who has his own opinion and is ready to defend his point of view within the framework of reason cannot have a scenario “without reason”. In short It is necessary to restore the ability to independently make choices and take responsibility for their decisions

Scenario "NO MONEY"

For the post-Soviet space, a scenario is relevant, which, by analogy with K. Steiner, could be called “without money”. Let's analyze a rather banal family history, when in the 30s some relatives were repressed, some property was taken away from others, after that their children began to live according to the principle “even though we are poor, but we sleep well,” despite the presence of education and potential career opportunities. At a certain historical period, this program was implemented in order to survive, then it began to be used on autopilot, and was passed on to children who passed it on to their children, etc. Nowadays it has become more destructive in nature. (Correspondent S. A.)

SUMMARY

All of the above scenarios are negative. All of them imply alienation from the world, to one degree or another of their intensity. Steiner considered the opposite of alienation to be "influence in the world." Or I would say "Positive interaction with the world." Namely - the acquisition of mental and bodily strength by a person, the ability to love. It (influence in the world) includes, in equal measure, contact, awareness and action.

INFLUENCE IN THE WORLD = CONTACT + CONSCIOUSNESS + ACTION

Contact

Cooperation relations require the prohibition of any kind of forceful actions: so that people do not lie, do not hide anything from each other and be responsible for themselves and their actions when they care about others.

Awareness

It is the accumulation of information in the ego state of the Adult about the world and its functioning. “Human awareness is enhanced by constructive informational feedback from other people. In this process, people share with us their views on our behavior and how it affects others. People can also advise on how we can change and correct our behavior for the benefit of all. The exchange of constructive feedback is an essential aspect of therapy, and it is greatly facilitated by the willingness to criticize, to take responsibility, to recognize and use the opinions of others."

Action

Action is the process by which our awareness of what needs to be changed is realized. However, the objective influence in the world differs from the subjective feeling of one's own strength and cannot arise only from awareness or contact. Awareness and contact must be transformed into some form of action - such as stopping drinking, changing social circle, improving diet, exercising, relaxation, etc. - that changes the actual conditions in a person's life. Action involves risk, and when a person takes a risk, he may need protection from fears and real dangers, sometimes following this action. Reliable protection in the form of a de facto union for physical and mental support is essential for effective action and is an essential aspect of contact. The therapist will push for action and provide strong protection.

Start changing and don't be afraid to ask for help.

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