Distortion Of Our Perception Under The Influence Of Past Experience. The Phenomenon Of Transference And Countertransference

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The phenomenon of transference described by Sigmnud Freud is one of the main discoveries in psychoanalysis and psychotherapeutic practice.

According to Carl Gustav Jung, "transference is the alpha and omega of therapy." This phenomenon consists in the fact that feelings, expectations, behavior and other features of relations with significant figures from the past are transferred (projected) to other people in the present. Such transferences are subject to research in the psychotherapeutic process if this corresponds to the theoretical orientation of the specialist, but it would be wrong to assert that the transference is a phenomenon that “lives” exclusively within the walls of the psychotherapeutic room. Therefore, we first turn to the consideration of this phenomenon in therapeutic practice, and then move on to the realities of everyday life.

TRANSFER AND COUNTER-TRANSFER IN PSYCHOTHERAPY

In psychotherapeutic practice, the rapid development of the transference is usually facilitated by the specialist's therapeutic position, which includes a neutral attitude towards the client and his unconditional acceptance (without evaluations, condemnation, expressed emotional reactions to what the client said). This provokes different unconscious interpretations by the client of the psychotherapist's behavior, influencing his perceptions and conclusions, depending on the client's past experience of relationships - to one client the therapist seems very warm and sympathetic (for example, thanks to empathic listening), and to another, on the contrary, cold, detached and arrogant. (since he does not “merge” with the client in his indignation with his boss and does not pity him as a victim of unfair treatment). One client, whose relationship with her mother was very cold, reproached the therapist for being indifferent to her: “Here, my friend goes to yoga, her instructor there is a human being! … She is better than you, more humane, warmer! Always hugs, asks: “How are you, my dear, doing? And you - neither hug nor caress!"

Most often, at the beginning of therapy, clients develop an idealized transference to the therapist - in their unconscious there is a hope of finally getting an “ideal parent” who will listen better, understand more subtly, take better care, and so on. etc. ad infinitum - that is, in fact, it will somehow save him from problems and unpleasant experiences and compensate for the injuries and deficits of childhood. The transference becomes stronger the more the client was traumatized in childhood and the more severe the impairment is now. Also, the development of the transference is facilitated by special therapeutic conditions that cause a certain regression of the client (some "return" to the past and "revival" of earlier emotional states) - he / she regularly attends meetings, recalls many episodes from the past, especially from childhood, work on it / its defense mechanisms (about defense mechanisms can be found here), a lot of unlived emotions and associations, unfinished situations and conflicts, which are reliably stored in the unconscious, rise to the surface.

For many, the therapist becomes an authority and a significant figure in life. But why can't the therapist really replace mom, feel sorry for, nurse, shower with compliments, increasing the client's self-esteem and compensating him for past disappointments? Why are there certain norms in the Code of Ethics regarding the boundaries of therapeutic relationships that do not encourage communication with the client outside the office, prohibiting work with people with whom the therapist is already associated with an unprofessional relationship?

Even Freud introduced the rule of abstinence - that is, a prohibition on the satisfaction of the client's infantile needs for contact and warned that the therapist should not follow his emotions that arise in contact with the client. First of all, because the therapist always "stands" on the side of reality, and the reality is that the client is no longer a child, and the therapist is not a parent, and that which was easily and correctly assimilated in childhood in a certain way during development, in an adult it doesn't work anymore. As one client, whose parents still repented and admitted that they were wrong in relation to her in connection with some situations from her childhood (it would seem, the dream of many people to compensate for child damage from their parents!) Said: “Now they appreciate me, and praise, and regret, but no, it's not that - there is no perfection in life! If they love it, then it is not enough, if it is enough, then not the way you want it, and if it is so, then it’s all, it’s too late, why do I need it now, I had to think before when I was a child! Now I'll take care of myself!"

The fact is that unresolved or incomplete relationships from the past, where there are many uneasy, “linked” with each other, conflicting emotions, and growing up is not about suppressing and avoiding them, compensating for the current positive ones, but about finally, to survive those disappointments, sorrows, frustrations, pain and anger, which for some reason were not experienced earlier (prohibited, suppressed or mental resources were not enough at that time). As the saying goes: "If you didn't have a bicycle in your childhood, and you grew up and bought a Bentley … you still didn't have a bicycle in your childhood."

In this regard, the idealizing, or positive, transference is then replaced by a negative one - when the client feels that the therapist will neither become a mother, nor a father, nor a brother, nor even a spouse (the psyche often provokes even falling in love with the therapist "in hope" compensate for childhood deprivation), then the therapist often begins to be perceived by the client as exactly the same frustrating, non-giving or rejecting “bad parent”, causing the very repressed pain, sadness and rage. This can be expressed in the fact that the client begins to think that the therapy is useless, the therapist mocks him or does not try to help him, condemns or considers him an incapable insignificance - there can be many individual options, depending on the content of the main conflict / client injury. Many clients feel tempted to discontinue therapy (thereby eliminating both the “bad” therapist and intense “dangerous” experiences at once). However, all of these emotions are necessary to “resolve the transference” -that is, understanding, experiencing, and ending traumatic situations from past relationships. And the therapist faces a difficult task - to allow the client to be “enchanted” and “disappointed” without “falling” into depreciation, while remaining for the client a stable, reliable, “good enough”, albeit not ideal anymore, object. That is, the therapist, nevertheless, has to partially fulfill the functions of that parent, which the client did not have - but not an eternally loving mother, but a sympathetic guide to the adult world, where one has to put up with various imperfections, various emotions and personal responsibility.

That is why it is not recommended to work with people connected with the therapist not by professional, but by personal, relationships - the transference will be "superimposed" on these very personal, already emotionally charged relationships in a certain way, generating a large number of conflicts and confusion, which will be quite difficult to clarify in the future. and none of this "works" for the benefit of either the therapist or such a "client."

COUNTER TRANSFER

It should be noted that usually clients provoke a certain emotional reaction in the psychotherapist in response - they cry so that they want to be cuddled and pitied, they get angry so that they cause strong fear, or they devalue all the therapist's attempts to help to such an extent that they want them if not thrown out the window immediately, then certainly "refuse therapy" as soon as possible. Emotional reactions to the client's transference have been called countertransference.

How is it formed? Transference is usually transmitted to another through "emotional broadcast", and rarely is it a direct verbal message (that is, an adult will speak, but the transmission will take place not through the content of what he is talking about, but through the form of his address - facial expressions, intonation, gestures, pose). This mechanism has been working since childhood, when the child still does not know how to speak, and he needs to cry SO so that the mother ITSELF understands that the child wants to eat, and not describe himself. Through this emotional broadcast, the transference is transmitted, causing a response. This broadcast may be less pronounced at the beginning of therapy or in people who are "in control", and more obvious or even provocative under the influence of strong emotions or severe mental disorders. For example, a depressed client complains and complains very bitterly. He does not directly say that he wants to be comforted and pitied, but his emotional request is obvious. But more aggressive people can practically provoke, compel to certain behavior - for example, a paranoid client can accuse the therapist of self-hostility, unprofessionalism, speak in a defiant tone on the verge of rudeness so that, as a result, the therapist can directly indicate such an aggressive effect and the inability to continue communication in this way - that is, ultimately, it will still "give a reason" to the client to be convinced of dislike for him (quite, already, however, real). At the same time, in the case of adhering to a professional position, the therapist, knowing the characteristics of paranoid clients, will be able to discuss the nuances of such interaction quite correctly, but firmly, and this will give a chance to continue cooperation in a different way (even if the client does not use it). If the therapist is "not worked out" enough, and it is difficult for him to withstand someone else's aggression and disapproval, then he may sharply snap back in response to the client's provocations and go into a defensive position, or behave arrogantly, "putting the client in place." As a result, he will no longer come, being again rejected and not understood by anyone, as has happened in his experience and earlier - from where does the defensive position of such a client and distrust come from. The therapist may feel endowed, but the therapeutic process will fail because the client does not have to be comfortable with the therapist.

If the therapist is "not worked out", that is, he has not resolved most of his own conflicts in personal psychotherapy during training and does not continue to visit his own psychotherapist to solve current problems, then there is a great chance of "acting out countertransference" to the detriment of the client - that is, directly expressing the words or action their emotional reactions instead of analyzing them (to enter into a sexual relationship with a seductive client, expel the “evil” from therapy, provide services and help “good and unhappy” in life in every possible way). If countertransference is acted out by the therapist, it leads to the reinforcement of symptoms and behaviors that the client came to change, and the developing dependence of the client, indefinitely "addicted" to therapy, at the "best" case, and retraumatization and deterioration of the client's condition at worst.

Initially, in psychoanalysis, countertransference reactions were generally considered a hindrance to the therapist's objective and even cold-blooded study of the client's problems and life history, however, in the course of the development of psychoanalytic practice, new schools and directions appeared.and many talented psychoanalysts have proven in their writings the importance of counterpernos in understanding the client's story. Indeed, if a person learned from childhood certain models of relationships with other people, which depended on scenarios of relationships in the family, parents with each other and their relationship to children, then he reproduces such a scenario (or anti-scenario) in the future, and the psychotherapist does not is an exception here. In this case, the analysis of transference and countertransference shows situations, so to speak, in 3D format, allowing you to analyze not just the client's feelings, but entire models of interactions with significant objects from the past. For example, if a paranoid client talks about unpredictable outbursts of aggression on the part of the father, then the therapist may experience strong fear (identifying with the client's childhood experiences - then this is a coinciding transference, the so-called concordant) or strong anger at the client's father, who severely traumatized the child (this the transfer is complementary, that is, complementary). At such a moment, the trauma of the client becomes obvious - a child whom no one could protect in moments of horror and vulnerability. However, instead of responding to countertransference - the desire to protect the "client child" from such experiences - the therapist empathically empathizes with all the emerging heavy and contradictory emotions of the client, which, as a result of such a joint new experience, can be tolerated, can be divided, can be comprehended - and it is through this living comes the release from the power of the past traumatic impact.

TRANSFERS IN CURRENT LIFE SITUATIONS

Any trauma / unfinished situation tends to be reproduced in the future - psychoanalysts and gestalt therapists note. Of course, special conditions are created for the development of the transference in the therapy room, but in reality, these phenomena are universal and encompass many relationships with others far beyond the therapy room. Any persons endowed with a certain authority - doctors, teachers, bosses, holy fathers and older or more experienced friends and relatives - are the first to fall under the transfer. And, of course, partners with whom the initial idealization transference is often replaced in the future by disappointment or the reproduction of a key conflict.

Can transference to people completely unfamiliar develop? Maybe, and usually it develops associatively. If in my kindergarten there was a very thin teacher, she was a blonde and called Valya, yelled at the children and personally even punished me once, then the episode itself may be forgotten, and a vague dislike for thin / for blondes / for Valya - stay. And when such come across on my life path, the psyche already feels a threat, and consciousness - an irrational dislike for this person. People read non-verbal messages faster, and even if such hostility is not fully realized and is not expressed directly in speech, this does not mean that the negative attitude is not obvious to another person. His unconscious also makes a quick "reading", and soon one can find that the dislike is quite mutual (a negative countertransference has developed in response to the reading). As a result, everyone will be convinced that "at first glance he understands people", in fact, thereby giving neither himself nor the other a chance for the second.

Of course, any transfer should not be understood literally as the fact that a person directly "sees dad in someone who looks like dad." We are talking about a certain scheme of interaction, which is repeated throughout the plot and evokes the same emotions that took place in conflict (and, possibly, forgotten) situations from the past.

Elizabeth is 27, she suddenly had twins, and her husband offered to take a nanny to help. Elizabeth agreed, but somehow noted that she was completely incapable of resting in the presence of a nanny. In the process of analysis, it turned out that Elizabeth thinks that the nanny, the woman is much older than her (that is, the “experienced mother), as if evaluates how she runs the house and does not approve of the fact that Elizabeth can go to bed during the day. When she was a nanny, she tried to do a lot of chores around the house, as if demonstrating that she was “busy with business,” and if she left the house, then on a very important occasion. Elizabeth recalled that the appearance of the nanny caused the disapproval of her mother, who "raised all the children herself without any nannies" and "had never been lying around with her ass upside down on the sofa." In general, her mother believed that her daughter was “living too well,” and realized that maternal condemnation was connected with envy and anxiety on her part that her daughter’s “too good” life would inevitably pay off. After that, Elizabeth was able to perceive the nanny as a childcare assistant and plan the time according to her own needs.

Transference is most vividly manifested in situations that "catch" us, cause many emotions, sometimes excessive or inadequate situations (since suppressed feelings from the past are mixed with current emotions). Usually they are associated with the peculiarities of our interpretations of what is happening.

In the family, Maria is a "magic wand", she always helped numerous relatives and took care of her mother after her father's death. Although her mother became a widow when she was only forty, after that she began to have chronic health problems, so Maria kept her, did all the housework, walked her mother's two dogs and went on her mother's errands. For a long time it had become a style of her life, and she did not realize that the title of "good girl" was very important for her, and any disapproval was unbearable. If Maria did not obey in childhood or dared to bring a grade of less than five from school, then they promised to hand her over to an orphanage for disrepair, besides, the father did not forget to remind that she was born by accident, since the mother did not have an abortion on time - the third child was not needed. Maria worked as a teacher at the institute for many years, and helped a lot of students who wrote coursework for her - they are, in her terminology, "poor children", and there were also "evil aunts" from the department, who constantly took advantage of Maria's willingness to come to the rescue and "poured”That very unpleasant job, they put it on a replacement, when they themselves took sick leave once again - and Maria herself was never sick. Maria was especially offended by the fact that the head of the department did not notice and did not appreciate her overtime work and merits - he always saw and stood out more insolent or manipulative "aunt". The peculiarities of Mary's perception become clear if we turn to her personal history - there were three sisters in the family (Maria the youngest, she was not expected, at least, they hoped for a boy, so she was a "disappointment" from birth), and they are different fought for the attention of their parents. The eldest was sick all the time, and the middle sister was already “boyish” by the time of the birth of Mary, in accordance with her father's expectations, was dexterous in sports and capable of learning. Maria, on the other hand, “chose” the way to be comfortable and useful, to be needed and praised. The older sister got married, and the other opened her own business and was constantly on the move - they left Maria to look after her parents. However, his father's favorite was always a sister who replaced his son: “He, in fact, always pitted us against each other, and I never won,” Maria said bitterly during a discussion of the peculiarities of her relationship with the head of the department, “and mother, grandmother and aunts used my reliability.. God, they immured me and castrated me in this female kingdom!"

A CASE FROM PSYCHOTHERAPEUTIC PRACTICE

Tamara is 35, and all her life she fell in love with inaccessible men. If she managed to get their attention and affection, then interest in them instantly dropped. Her father divorced her mother when Tamara was very young, and despite the fact that she was his only daughter, he was not too interested in the child. Father has always been a playboy, and a huge number of women have changed next to him. Occasionally, in the intervals between his mistresses, he took the baby to him and then arranged a holiday for her (either because in those few moments of loneliness, the girl, who looked at him with enthusiastic eyes, flattered his pride, or out of guilt). When a new passion appeared, he again lost interest in his daughter. At the time of her appeal, Tamara was in a relationship with a foreigner who was in no hurry to marry her, but on her visits to visit him he spoiled and entertained her in every possible way. He seemed to Tamara an ideal man and she was ready for anything to force him to marry her by any means. She came to therapy in connection with the frequent attacks of anxiety-depressive states and chose a man as her therapist. Despite the fact that most of the time during her meetings with the therapist she spent talking about the man of her dreams, this did not prevent her from openly flirting with the therapist and seducing herself to behave. It happened that she switched (sometimes instantly, as if frightened) to the role of a little girl, giggling, embarrassed and demonstrating helplessness in solving life's problems. In the process of work, she recalled that she was jealous of her father's women, always felt insignificant, learned early that sexuality and seductive female beauty is in the first place for a man. At the same time, she broadcast her need for care and support. The therapist discussed with Tamara these ambivalent messages, her unfulfilled hopes, the pain of rejection and abandonment in childhood. In the second year of work (most likely under the influence of countertransference), the therapist forgot to warn the client about his vacation in advance, which caused her anger - she was again abandoned in the most unpredictable way! She reproached the therapist for callousness and neglect, then, after explaining interpretations, she was able to redirect these feelings towards her father. As she lived in her rage and in the process of mourning her illusions and unfulfilled expectations about her father, Tamara began to wonder why she was so strongly attached to a person (that foreigner) for whom, it seemed, their relationship had no serious value, and who did not initiate further rapprochement in any way. After several open conflicts (earlier Tamara did not dare to start them in horror that she would be abandoned again), she ended this relationship: “I’m not going to live forever on a“starvation ration”!" A year later, she moved in with a friend of her brother, who looked after her for about six months. Initially, she treated him warmly, and, over time, to her surprise, without feeling "love at first sight" or "wild passionate attraction", she discovered deep affection, tenderness and trust on her part in relation to this man …

In conclusion, it must be said that it is not easy to work with the transference, if only because many of the feelings associated with it are painful for understanding and, moreover, for speaking, both for the client and the therapist. But if the client's responsibility is limited only by the need to communicate in time about the peculiarities of his perception of the therapist and feelings and fantasies addressed to him, then in order to work with the transference and countertransference, the psychotherapist has to make even more efforts - it is important to recognize these emotional reactions and distinguish them from their own conflicts and distortions. … For this, the psychotherapist must be trained in special skills in working with the transference, as well as (as mentioned above) undergo a course of long-term therapy and then regularly visit his therapist to work through current problems and a supervisor to analyze his work. It is necessary to understand when it is appropriate to correctly convey information to the client, demonstrating how previous models are reproduced in various respects, how this affects perception, and to explore, together with the client, the root causes of such transfers. All this makes it possible to prevent breakdowns of the therapeutic process due to the actualization of negative transference, as well as to recognize old models of perception in a safe experimental space and replace them with new, more effective ones, improving testing of reality and helping to release the burden of unfinished situations from the past.