2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is known that enuresis is an involuntary urination. It can occur both day and night.
What are the psychological causes of this condition in a child?
The child during the day, being in a conscious state, strenuously controls himself or is done over him. At the same time, they punish him, scold him, forbid him to express himself spontaneously, which is natural for a child.
It is impossible to show your emotions, feelings, and most importantly - desires. There are many prohibitions.
The interests of the child are ignored, he is perceived, in most cases, functionally. The family system is rigid, rigid, or vice versa - sheer connivance. Everything is possible - as long as it does not interfere with the parents going about their business. In this case, the child has no boundaries and no understanding of what can and cannot be done. It becomes limitless and … unsettling. From a misunderstanding of what is permitted. Nobody guides him, which means they do not worry about him and he, then, does not feel protected. Security is not formed in society and in the world.
But a lot of unconscious anxiety appears, which is forced out into the unconscious, is repeatedly suppressed there and … goes out through the body …
This is the "inner cry" of a child because he is not comforted, when he feels bad and hard, scared and painful, he feels offended and "disadvantaged", unnecessary to anyone …
It is forbidden to cry in the family, it is not accepted, it annoys the parents or one of the parents - the most important person for the child. It is also impossible to show aggression. In general, any discontent on the part of the child is interpreted by the parent as willfulness and unacceptable behavior.
Parents behave in an authoritarian manner, not allowing the child to form their opinion and judgment.
And the child learns not to trust himself and his feelings, "hide" his feelings deep in the body.
Fearing to disappoint the parent, the child pleases, learns to be obedient, complaisant, but these are only external manifestations. And in his inner world he is unhappy - because he is not perceived as he is. Different …
He learns to be only "good", then they may love him, or at least not be rude and too harsh to treat him …
One of the forms of harsh treatment of a child can be ignoring him, "playing in silence." It can even be regarded as psychological abuse. When a child receives no response and no reaction to himself as a person, it becomes difficult for him to understand himself and identify himself with what is happening in the world around him.
What shouldn't parents do in a child's bedwetting situation?
Shame in public, criticize, scold, punish, behave aggressively towards the child. Thus, the painful condition is only consolidated and intensified. In addition, the child develops psychological complexes, strengthens the neurotic state.
Be sure to consult on medical indicators, be examined by specialists. Find out the reason for the appearance of this condition in a child. If from the point of view of medicine, in general, nothing is revealed, then there are psychological factors, such as: the individual characteristics of the child, his anxiety, impressionability, excessive sensitivity … Complex relationships in the family: conflicts, quarrels, "hushing up" problems and thus keeping family tension.
Perhaps the child's psyche is still "ripening", and the nervous system is maturing and maturing. And then, it is necessary to create conditions for his further improvement and recovery.
"Inner tears" of a child can also be manifested as a reaction to an extremely psychologically unfavorable situation for him in kindergarten, school, due to conflicting relationships with peers.
At night, being in a state of maximum relaxation of all psychological and physiological functions of the body, the child relaxes and … gives out his squeezed "lump" of pain and fears.
He - pisses and thus receives unconscious relief. And besides, there is also some attention, at least some, from the parents. In particular, from the most significant … Perhaps, in another way, he is unable to attract attention to himself or distract his parents from the endless solution of their adult life tasks.
In particular, this happens in dysfunctional families, in which a lot of insoluble internal problems and difficulties have accumulated between parents and their children, respectively.
In this case, the child is a symptom, an indicator of distress and strong instability of the family system, which is constantly threatened by a break.
And the relationship in it is unsafe, both for the child and for the entire system as a whole.
Because of the constant frustration, being in unconscious stress, the child thus “cries” and encourages the parents to take care of him and the well-being of the family in such a difficult way for him.
There is also a certain regression of the child, his unwillingness to grow up and let go of his parents. The longer he is little and will write in the crib, the more and longer his parents will be attentive to him and … will, perhaps, be together. Growing up is scary, you need to keep your parents close. The child receives little or no basic support and acceptance.
"Psychological enuresis" is a violation of contact between a child and his most significant and close people. There is no tenderness, warmth, respect, acceptance, mutual support between them, perhaps few manifestations of love …
The child is in an internal conflict, "torn" between his beloved parents, tries to "wash away" all the bitterness of painful experiences associated with relationships with parents, cleanse their relationship and improve the whole family situation as a whole.
However, a small person cannot afford such an important and difficult "event" … He alone cannot save a sick family system. And then, the child continues to hurt, suffer and "cry" …
A psychologist, working with a child who has a similar problem, helps him to unblock suppressed negative feelings. It is better to do this in the format of art therapy tasks and exercises: drawing, crafts, modeling, writing fairy tales, stories.
In the course of work, a lot of energy is released in the child, which was spent on maintaining feelings.
It is necessary to be interested in "What does the child want, what are his wishes?"
If a child has resentment, anger, irritation, shame, anger at someone … it would be good to give vent to these feelings and react to emotions. So that the child does not accumulate them, but is discharged and freed from the pressing "load" and tension.
It is important for the child to make it clear that it is possible and necessary to speak and “share” his difficult feelings. After that, it becomes easier for him internally. And, since the child may not feel the support and support he needs for development and growing up, then you need to give him this in every possible way, whenever possible.
And then the child will be able to freely express their emotions through feelings - verbally, and not just in a bodily way.
In general, when a child has more joy than sadness in his inner world, he will definitely feel more confident. His health will recover and he will become psychologically more stable.
And thus, the child will no longer be squeezed in the "grip" of prohibitions, he will no longer need to accumulate and hold back uncontrollable tears …
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