2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
By "near-border" behavior, I mean an urgent need for someone nearby, for example, an irresistible desire to "grab" a particular partner, friend, mother, boss or some kind of material "deputy" of the Mother figure (most often it is money or work). That is, it is a sudden and very persistent need for the presence of a symbolic external "Mama" nearby.
It is the suddenness and severity (in the absence of a real threat) in such cases that are diagnostic criteria that this need does not arise from life circumstances, but is provoked by internal traumatic anxiety. How does it arise? As a rule, this is a consequence of a non-ecological, abrupt separation from the Mother's figure, and the earlier such a separation took place, the greater the volume of unbearable anxiety the traumatic person has to face later.
These may be cases of early (up to 1, 5 years old) separation from the mother, which were not compensated; traumatic episodes with ignoring the child ("I don't talk to you!") and / or a sharp prohibition of contact ("Get away from me!" he "has already grown up" and now "has no right to be small." Here one can also mention real or demonstrative emotional coldness, direct or indirect threats to "give up the child" in case of "bad behavior", statements about dislike and uselessness, inappropriate behavior, i.e. everything that makes the mother's figure "disappearing", unreliable, unpredictable.
Since the absence of a mother (real or emotional) really poses a threat to the life of a small child, then at such moments (especially if they were repeated) the baby experiences an unbearable feeling of horror, which he cannot cope with - and this feeling that floods him turns out to be more or less dissociated, encapsulated inside in the name of preserving at least some kind of mental integrity. But by itself, this feeling of gigantic anxiety does not disappear anywhere as they grow up, and the following picture is obtained: in adulthood, a completely independent person suddenly "covers" with an attack of fear or anxiety. It is not always possible to calculate what exactly provoked this anxiety, and sometimes - due to the natural property of our unconscious - such an outburst is simply spontaneous and not tied to any circumstances. And against the background of the normal course of life (that is, nothing happened right now), the traumatic suddenly feels "something" - this "something" is not always recognized as anxiety, especially in people who were ashamed of fear - but "something", as if pushing him to urgently do some absolutely non-urgent things. Most often, such attacks relate to relationships with loved ones (partners, spouses, friends, parents) or to the field of finance.
Very often, internal anxiety is not recognized at all, but immediately the "reason" is sought to explain the occurrence of unpleasant experiences - for example, the financial crisis in the country - and it does not matter that an hour ago this crisis did not bother me at all, but now I am with wild excitement I count the money available. Or - since the morning everything was in order with my husband / wife / children, and now I suddenly feel madly guilty (before my husband / wife / children) and run to "correct the situation" or demand immediate proof that "we have everything in order". The general rule is that the area of life in which a person feels the least confident at the moment is chosen as a "reason" times different, which again indicates their illusion).
The good news is that it is quite possible to work with this, for example, using the method of Bodily insight, gradually building your own Inner reliable Mom, transferring the need for external support to "personal rails" and learning to recognize the remnants of internal trauma and not try to do something in the external reality at the moment when internal processes need attention.
Recommended:
5 Signs You Have Anxiety - Increased Anxiety Symptoms - Anxiety - Anxiety
Did you know that it is because of anxiety that you don't feel happy? It is this consuming feeling that prevents you from being here and now, enjoying life, taking energy and strength from you, preventing you from enjoying the greatest purchase or the most significant event in your life.
About Being "Here-and-Now" And Anxiety
Do you fret often? Little things? Or really important things? How do you differentiate between them? Why worry at all? This article will focus on being aware of the present and one of the cognitive techniques for getting rid of anxiety. In the third wave of CBT, there is an approach called mindfulness.
Self-isolation Stress And Anxiety / How To Survive An Epidemic / Self-regulation And Self-management
Quite recently, as if yesterday, it seemed to me that this topic is relevant for people experiencing health problems. Personally, I used these techniques for clients for whom stress is contraindicated for medical reasons, so an attempt to delve into the causes of a stressful situation could lead to additional exacerbations of the underlying disease, and there was only one thing left - teaching self-regulation techniques.
Self-Harming Behavior As An Invention Against Anxiety
From the point of view of psychoanalysis and some of its offshoots, generalizations about the causes of the symptom are almost impossible. On behalf of each individual person, the symptom speaks of the intricacies of drives, events, experiences.
A WORD WITH THE LETTER "TR": WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT ANXIETY AND ANXIETY PEOPLE?
Anxiety disorder is a world of three "Hs": the world is not reliable, not in control, not safe. Every event that disrupts the routine / algorithm triggers an anxiety (optionally panic / phobic) attack, reinforcing these beliefs. The anxious always live in the future.
