2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-11 11:16
Original by Laura Belgray talkingshrimp.com/paguide
Translated by Tatyana Lapshina
"Are you going to wash the dishes, or will I do it myself?" "Have you lost your internet? Hmm. So it seemed. You didn't comment on my last post, did you."
Did you notice what I did?
It was very passive-aggressive.
In two simple phrases, I seem to say: “Have you read my last post? If you've read it, tell me how much you liked it. If you haven't read it, please read it. Then tell me how you liked him."
Passive-aggressive language is extremely capacious and comfortable. It will allow you to get whatever you want, as well as express your feelings without the risk of being rejected or disliked by the other person. Although, if you think about it, you can still be rejected and you can really not like people, because they will get enough of your communication style. So passive aggression doesn't always work. Despite this, I will still give a few examples of how passive aggression can be used in everyday life.
If you want to say, "I don't like you and will never like you?" - don't even try. What if the answer is "So what?" Instead, misrepresent the name of the other person over and over again, ignoring his corrections. If you are talking to Goldstein, it reads "gold stein", always say "gold stein". Of course, it would be nice not only to distort the name, but also to turn the interlocutor into a monkey.
Endora, the mother of Samantha from The Witch, was extremely successful in this technique. Want to say: “Let's date! I am so attracted to you! - don't you dare. What if the answer is no?
Instead, sneak into the home of your passion and rub it into bed. He will receive an ambiguous message, but at the same time he will never suspect how dear to you. As you probably already noticed, passive-aggressive statements can have many connotations. To make things easier for you and yourself, I have divided examples of passive aggression into several subcategories.
I present to you my pocket guide to 11 basic techniques for using a passively aggressive language with characteristic speech patterns and translation into common human Russian (or language of direct expression of will).
1. Passive-extorting
Tactic: Instead of asking directly, hint to the person what you want, but don't ask directly. Or ask, but in the form of a proposal.
Examples:
How do you like the noodles? Or
You barely touched your portion. Are you finished yet?
> I want to taste your noodles.
Can you recommend an inexpensive hotel near your home?
> As soon as I'm in the city, I want to stay at your house.
What's the mood, can you vacuum the floor?
> I want you to vacuum the floor. It doesn't matter what your mood is.
2. Passive-offended
Technique: Express resentment or anger in the form of caring questions or a smile.
Examples:
Have you already received the gift I sent you in October? I checked the tracking code. The mail claims that the package was delivered, but suddenly someone signed for you and the gift was gone?
> You never thank me for my gifts.
It's funny that you bought a handbag from Louis Vuitton's latest collection, even though you owe me a thousand dollars. I'm not angry, it's just a funny situation.
> Oh! I'm mad!
How did you get there?
> It's not decent to be so late!
So you decided to have a small wedding for your friends?
> How dare you not call me to the wedding?
3. Passive bragging
Tactic: You kind of casually quote compliments from other people. Or you talk about a fact that is interesting to everyone, but in fact you are bragging about it.
Examples:
My God! This guy is serious about me. As if he says: "Baby, you have a gorgeous body, can you give me your phone number?" He's so passionate. It was so much fun.
Or: I tried on jeans a couple of days ago. The saleswoman is like, "You are probably a model?" And I'm like, "Okay!"
> I'm fucking sexy. People around you think so too!
George Clooney is actually a cool guy. Very pragmatic.
> I know George Clooney!
4. Passive-insecure
Tactic: A good old way to ask for a compliment.
Examples:
Oh my God! I'm so fat today!
> Just try not to notice how great I look today!
5. Passively irritable / squeamish (stranger version)
Tactic: If someone annoys you with their actions or does something disgusting, feign surprise, confusion, or curiosity.
Examples:
Oops! What was it? (Constantly looking around, as if in fright)
> You blow your nose at the same time disgusting and not decent.
Wave your palms to disperse the air in front of you with a fierce gaze
> Oh! I know you farted, the mischief from seat 32C.
If a more successful customer cuts you off at the checkout, raise one eyebrow as if expressing surprise "Wow!"
> Don't even pretend you didn't just cut me off, socially useless cretin!
Sorry, I think you dropped something.
> It's not a shame! I had to pick up the rubbish that you seemed to have accidentally dropped on the sidewalk. So: this is no coincidence! You must be ashamed!
6. Passively irritable / squeamish (close circle version)
Tactic: Mask your disapproval with innocent and caring questions.
Examples:
Shall I put away your socks? Maybe you left them on the floor to put them on again?
> You are a pig and I'm not going to clean up after you!
How is your apartment search progressing?
> When will you finally move out?
7. Passive-impatient
Tactic: If you want this f *** ing idiot to hurry up, pretend to be worried or surprised.
Examples:
Are you okay there?
> People need the bathroom! What are you doing there? Are you still shitting or what?
I'm calling to ask if everything is fine with you, because you didn't call back and I'm worried.
> Call me back already, you mudachie!
8. Passive-abusive
Tactic: To express complete disrespect, use fake praise or a question you are not interested in answering.
Examples:
Are you still training?
> Looks like you gave up training a long time ago.
You are so brave that you decided to sing in front of people!
> Eat shit.
I felt so bad when I didn't have a boyfriend. You're doing really well!
> What a shame that you don't even have a man.
What a fun, colorful sweater!
> What an ugly sweater!
9. Passive-correcting
Technique: To demonstrate the superiority of intelligence, feign dullness.
Examples:
Are you sure that it is correct to say this "ex-calator"? I always thought it was right to say "is-calator".
> Idiot, you said that word wrong!
10. Passive-defender
Tactic: Apologize to show that you have nothing to apologize for.
Examples:
I'm really sorry you got it all wrong.
> I haven't done anything wrong, and you are too sensitive a sissy.
11. Passive-depressive
Reception: fishing for sympathy.
Examples:
Facebook status: "Give up …"
> Why? Why? Ask me!
So, am I missing something? If so, suggest your options.
Passive-aggressive is a living, actively developing language. Therefore, do not hesitate to supplement its variety with your own techniques and turns. In other words: "Are you thinking so hard to leave a comment?"
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