2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Once again I am convinced that everyone sees everything and everyone, exclusively, through the prism of their own: expectations, desires and previous experience. Why is this happening? Why is awareness of perception replaced by illusion? Because it's easier that way! It's easier to stamp everyone with a carbon copy, it's easier not to delve into the details, it's easier, by asking a question to the interlocutor, to answer it yourself inside yourself and calm down!
Relationship fast food, which is covered by the newfangled dream of every mortal - "self-love":
- fast and superficial communication, without violating your time and other ephemeral boundaries;
- not annoying civil marriages, which can be terminated at any time and both partners are ready for such a trick almost every day;
- fleeting conversations with children in the pauses between the change of nannies / clubs / schools / kindergartens / grandmothers;
- occasional meetings with friends, which today are more and more business / mutual benefit;
- inertial, for the most part, festive visits to parents, because traditions and the "glass of water" sounded in childhood;
If you wish, you can continue this list. New times and informational opportunities are gradually transforming people into computers, into insensitive robots without elementary interest in the interlocutor. There is a clear task in communication (to pretend that..), but always a simple one, and we solve it, if possible, quickly and without hassle.
And we are constantly in a hurry, even if we are not in a hurry. This is a habit developed over the years - to run, at times, with an empty exhaust from running, but still run headlong in order to keep up with others who are also rushing for no one knows where and for what. Therefore, we come up with conveniences and simplifications in everything. We no longer talk on the phone, but why, if you can write and at the same time work or eat at the same time, no one will know, no one will hear - it is convenient. And again, you can interrupt communication when your beloved wants to: "Oh, I'm sorry, wi-fi is gone, yes, yes, for five hours!"
I wonder who we will become in the next ten years, what will happen to our psyche? I dare to assume that the concept of "marriage" will soon outlive itself completely, although it may be for the better, and the "family" will, indeed, consist of seven / five / three / two lonely "I" who have finally learned to love themselves, but they didn’t advance further and couldn’t fall in love with others. Sadness.
It is also interesting why recently in books, at trainings, and other programs working for the benefit of personality development, they report loudly and aggressively about the need to love oneself? The Bible, as a philosophical work, was added to the same place, for the purpose of the Universal advertisement, so that the appeals could sound more authoritative. The interpretation and attitude towards love is beautiful, I do not argue, however, do words relate to deeds and what follows the period when you are sure that you finally love yourself? In my opinion, this is a utopia, because the process of loving oneself, namely accepting oneself as it is, is endless! We change, knowing more and more deeply, we reveal more and more new facets, our shadow sides, which can even push away from ourselves! The acceptance process lasts a lifetime, and perhaps more than one, whoever is lucky. The question arises, when to start loving others, if you still cannot completely succeed in yourself? Again, I will express exclusively my opinion, which I do not impose in any way - I think it is worth trying to love in two directions at once. Defeat yourself in some little thing, thank the Universe for an inner discovery and accept something in another person, you will get both a training in acceptance and a fat plus in karma.
Just do not think that I urge you to rush into the wind and start loving everyone, no, I’m not talking about that at all, moreover, loving everyone will not work, this is also a delusion. I suggest we simply be more attentive to the people we meet for a long time or for a short time, because any of them will be either our “mirror” or “teacher”. This is where self-love begins - the person says, and you listen carefully, and suddenly something resonates inside during his story. And the person is pleased that he is being listened to, and the benefit to us is psychotherapy of a kind. I noticed this even in the process of learning on the positive and learned to use it, and theoretically I knew about it from the time of studying Buddhism, but theory without practice is absolutely useless, alas. Now, under any circumstances, I see more than just words. Now there are no unpleasant topics for me, and there are no annoying acquaintances pouring mental garbage into my consciousness - they have turned into my psychotherapists, although they themselves do not even know about it. Moreover, this process is two-way - I listen attentively to the person, he is happy, he spoke out and received therapy, and I tracked my triggers. In general, it is not difficult and it is quite possible to learn it! If interested, I can tell you in more detail in a personal conversation / correspondence.
Returning to the beginning of the article, I would like to note that the future depends only on ourselves. How we will interact with each other and whether we will. In our hands, but rather in our hearts, there is every opportunity to become more human and not be reborn into robots. Then, ahead of us is an advanced and developed future, but at the same time - ALIVE!
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